All ailments, disbalances stem from our emotions one way or another. How, I will be explaining below; but that does not mean they in themselves are causing us ailments, in fact it is the other way around, we are causing ourselves ailments, by not honoring our feelings.
The body is a vessel, designed to keep running in the best possible way and in as much balance as possible. We are not the body, but the Soul that inhabits it. The Soul is not material, thus is does not have "material problems and disbalances", the material disbalances and problems come as a result of a non-material disruption that is encountered by the Soul. The Soul is our true self, the Soul expresses itself through feelings. Feelings are what drive us, and make us "human". Our feelings are what controls our Will, which in turn controls our actions, which consequently invokes our intellect for thought, (intelligible thought, not “free floating random thoughts” which are known as ‘Waswasa’ – the whispered provocations of the Devil, Shaitan, more on this coming soon).
In the early years, one acts out of pure imitation, as the years progress, the Will takes charge and one acts out of their Will. If this Will is suppressed, challenged or threatened, thus not allowing it to be, the fire of the Will gets dwindled. The Will is at the core of ones’ self. A dwindled Will, thus core, means a dwindled self. If the Will is not allowed to grow and become strong, one becomes a but a fraction of themselves. They no longer act out of their Will, instead have to switch over to acting out of their intellect far sooner than they should have needed to. Their thoughts become their main driving force for their actions. Their Mind develops, but their Soul-self is left neglected. When this happens we grow up with a sort of hollowness inside of us. No matter what we may do or achieve, the satisfaction does not reach to the core of us, it stays on the surface and we are often left troubled and dissatisfied with life despite “worldly successes”. When a big part of us has not had the opportunity to be developed it is this lacking that we are yearning to fill, but are unaware of how to do so, or that it even is the case. This dis-ease lives within us and eats away at us and our vitality.
Ordinarily if given the right space and time our Will and Soul does develop and later as we get older and "wiser" and our Mind too develops. We then allow our Mind to take the wheel, we start listening to and actioning what the Mind calculates through its experiences the "better" course(s) of action, which is healthy. But when we get plagued with a conflict of the Emotional actions and the Mind’s actions this is where dis-ease begins. The longer this dis-ease sits within us the more it makes a more "permeant pitch within our being. This then manifests into a disease state, with or without pathological changes.
This does not mean that one needs to be passive and vanilla with everything in life, in fact that in itself will still result in dis-eases. And all of this is also not to say that one should completely make away with Intellect, thought and the development of them. No, they are also necessary; for without them we would remain very child-like, living purely in and out of emotions.
It all comes down to balance. Just as there is a place and need for the Mind to take control once it has developed, there is a real need for there to remain a space for the Emotions to still take charge and rule. When either side is suppressed or given sole charge for too long and too often that is where the problems begin…
Imagine a delicate multi layered set of scales all balanced upon each other, if you add a weight to one side of one scale this will make that scale disbalanced and in turn the others that are connected to it setting off a chain reaction of readjustments until a new "stable" condition is reached. This "stable" condition will be balanced as best possible so that the whole structure does not come tumbling down, but the balances will not all be in there original "optimal" positions. Until this weight is not removed everything cannot go back to their "resting" optimal positions. Over time if more and more weights keep getting added on parts of this delicate structure more and more deviations will result from the original optimal position.
This is what happens to us in life, as more and more we live through our Intellect and less in touch with and honoring and respecting our Feelings; more and more imbalances make home within us, leading us to more and more dis-ease and eventually "diseases".
To thrive in our Earthly life we need to develop our Mind, but all the while still nurture and nourish our Soul. When we start living too much out of our Mind and in the material world, then we risk not acknowledging and nurturing our Soul enough. This can be seen when no matter what we may do or achieve, any happiness we gain is short lived. Because happiness is an expression or our innate emotion, joy. When the happiness is induced by the intellect it is short lived, but when happiness is expressed as a result of our Soul experiencing joy, then it is deeper rooted and not dependent of upon an material circumstances, thus longer lasting and experienced as what is known as “contentment”.
Although it must be pointed out over here, that there are some emotions that stem from the Intellect, like fear and anger. Fear results from our thoughts (mainly and often from the Waswasa thoughts), its roots live in the Ego, just like that of anger. They are a consequence of one's Ego being threatened or challenged. Fear and Anger are the two extremes ends of the Ego’s expression when it encounters stimuli. Our Ego is a part of ones’ Soul-self that gets developed as ones’ intellect gets developed: it is best described as our Mind’s persona; it is an acquired facet of our Soul’s self, developed as a result of ones’ Worldly Journey, (which is why despite its development it can still be allowed to be “let go of” in a healthy way – more on this coming soon).
When the Ego faces any perceived threat or challenge, in interest of self-preservation, it acts out with a number of different emotional responses. These emotional responses are not the same as the emotional actions that come from our Soul, as their origin is from the Intellect. They are not innate to the Soul, but are acquired emotional actions that have been developed from and with the Ego, as a result of the stimuli that a Being experienced in its Earthly journey.
For example one person may be found to live completely in and out of fear, where another is completely “fearless”. It is not that the latter is reckless; no its Ego, in its journey so far, has not felt threatened to the point where it needed to develop its sense of fear very much; and the former may have experienced much adversities where its defense mechanism has kicked in and developed its fear emotion to such an extent that it has completely taken over.
Let me explain with another example: If you observe a new born baby sleeping, its expressions are mainly that of joy or sadness. Over time if the baby feels its self or its safety threatened then it slows develops its acquired emotions of fear or anger depending on the environment and circumstances.
Often it is not our acquired emotions we suppress first, but our innate ones. Because our acquired emotions stem from our Ego and once it starts to develop it has the main driving wheel, thus the first emotions that are suppressed are our innate ones, as our Soul-self gets pushed aside and ignored. Then if our Ego gets repeatedly threatened, then it too can start getting suppressed and sidelined (and with it our acquired emotions), which is another defense mechanism of its: submission and surrender in-order to prevent annihilation; and we become but a slave to our outer world, “living” life more like a robot, going about our daily life without much of ourselves actually living and being present in any of our actions. We become passive and vanilla in life. This is what we see described as being here, but not present. Because your material self is here, but your spiritual self, your soul self is not. No prizes to guess that this too is not a healthy way of living. Our Earthly journey is not for us to surrender and became a slave to our surroundings/circumstances, it is for us to develop ourselves, our light, our gift and bring our offering to the World.
If we live in balance and nurture and develop all aspects of ourselves that is when true Wellness can be achieved.
Although it is much harder to develop your Will and Soul-self at later stages in your life, it is not impossible. The more you allow quietness in your Mind the more better you are able to connect with your Soul-self. Bring stillness within to help settle the waters, once the mud settles things can become more clearer.
Fear lives in the Future, and Anger in the Past; what we need is to live in the Present and for that all we need is internal stillness and quiet.
May we all find, keep and act out of our stillness; for then we will have truly arrived into the Present.
I am not saying that in a: “I know what is causing me to gain weight” meaning,
What I am referring to, is:
“that, which I am consuming, which I know to be not a good product for my overall wellness”
( Just so you know what I mean! :P )
Emotionally you may want to change your diet to improve your health and fitness, to change your dress size, (more often than not); but mentally if you are not in the right space, it really isn't going to happen. You may dive head first into deep waters many a times, but you will only ever stay and swim when truly you are ready to.
“Comfort foods” is the biggest factor with most people, that is the cause for our wellness's down fall. We rely on “comfort foods”, when are body is longing something; that something that you can't really put your finger on. It's this feeling inside, which is gasping for air that draws you to open that larder door and hunt. You don't even often know, what it is that you are hunting for, all you know, is that your body is longing something. You dive for the first thing that may induce a fulfilling of this feeling of want. But truthfully it wasn't that snack your body wanted nor needed, it was something that induced a comfort one gets when they feel “loved”.
This desire of love is not an outward desire, it's not a reflection of the people and situation around you. It's an internal cry from within, for a love that is at a different space then that, which your family can provide.
It's a cry for self love, self forgiveness, self peace, self contentment and self admiration.
We often spend so much of our time and energy loving all those that are around us, spreading so much love outwardly, that we forgot that the body giving, needs some loving too. We forget to love ourselves, take care of ourselves. Admire all that we are and do.
There is often this stigma with taking care of ourselves, especially with women and more so those who are mothers. There is this fear, that we can’t say we are tired, or hungry outside of prescribed meal times, or we would like to do a self indulgent, pleasurable or luxury activity. In some cases, even be seen to be eating “expensive” nourishing produce, that are important for our own personal well being, is “tutted” upon. This fear of society looking down upon us, condoning us, is paralysing even those of us who do want to indulge in self care from achieving this very basic and simple human right!
This type of self neglect, is what is the root cause of not being able to look after ourselves. It’s kind of a vicious circle really: the less you love yourself the more you substitute with “alternate” comfort generators; the worse your health gets, causing you to even more love your self less. In order to break this, we need to consciously make an effort for ourselves. We need to look at ourselves, in a proud, admiring way. Until we do not admire ourselves and feel we are worth of our own personal time, love, care and attention, it will not happen! You can jump into diet plans, after diet plans, it will not “heal” you! Healing only occurs when we allow ourselves to heal.
At the end of the day, your dress size is not a true accurate judgement for your well being, we are all very different, our body needs and requirements are all very different. A person who is a dress size 12, maybe more healthy than that who is a size 8; but equally another person who is a size 8, maybe more health than a different person who is a size 12. Everyone’s metabolism, needs, height, shape, genetical make up of body type, diet, lifestyle, daily routine, emotional and mental health are all so very different, there can not and should not be, a one size fits all with anything!
What is important for your well being, is your emotional and mental wellness. If that is at a healthy place, then the body automatically will fall into its right space!
To look after the physical, one must start the with the mental and emotional, that is what controls the physical. Put that to right first, the rest will slide into the right place.
Doesn't matter who it is, hugs have a huge part to play when it comes to healing matters of the heart.
The hug doesn't have to be an actual one, it can be metaphorical; but more often then not, a real one is the ticket.
WHEN ASKED WHAT IS MY ONE ADVISE THAT I WOULD GIVE TO NEW PARENTS, I DO NOT HESITATE TO SAY HOLD THEM, HOLD THEM AS MUCH AS YOU CAN!
It is quite a contradictory piece of intellect especially from what we are brought up with in the indo-sub continent, but most probably in being so, is most likely why it is my go to advise for everyone, because I truly believe in it and want to change the general ruling on it.
We are always told "don't hold them too much they will get too used to being held, they wont leave you to let you do anything else". But truthfully you should not be needing to do anything else in those early days anyway! This stage of the baby, of wanting to be held, last all but 6 months by which time they are crawling and literally they are like "seeya" then you will be left craving to hold them and they will not want to know you, as they will be more excited to explore the new world around them.
People think that this stage will never end, but it ends far sooner then you are ready for it to end in the end. However, if you do let them live out that time as meant to be, in your arms literally, then you too will be more than ready for the progression of growth of the child. Yes you may feel "strapped" to the bed for those 6 months but honestly, enjoy it! cherish it, that time never comes back, that one to one time that you get with your child, that bonding lasts for a lifetime, this bonding if far superior to any bonding you may try to do in the future when they are teens or adults and you wish to be "closer" to them. This is the time they need you, the house work will always be there, but they will no longer be a baby for you to give that time when it counted!
If you are worried about cooking as you have no support you can do a little cooking while they sleep, if you can get away from the bed; or do some cooking once your other half is home when they can hold the baby and you cook. Try not to go too over board with complex food during this time, cook simple nutritious meals that are quick to put together. Encourage your partner to cook! During this time all you both really need is just full on nourishing food not gourmet! Don't experiment, just prepare foods that you can prepare in bulk and mix up with. For example, we make this boneless chicken handi curry dish in bulk, first night we eat it with boiled rice or chappati/nan bread, then second night mash up chicken and make chicken stuffed bread (chicken puri) then third night we throw in rice in the now "more masala than chicken" curry, and cook it as a pilao rice! One dish cooked three ways! Honestly work smart, not hard! (but that is a "in general advice" btw and not just for those early mommyhood days!)
I find people in general who miss out on those cuddling days are often craving for it afterwards in life and hence you find middle aged women craving to hold a baby, its quite sad really, don't deny yourself, only you will suffer!
Enjoy each stage of your life, you don't get second chances....
Take it from me, I celebrate and applaud every grey hair... after all I worked damn hard to earn each and everyone of them! I am proud of them, they are each a silver feather in my cap!
Experiences are what make us the people we are, don't be afraid or too busy to experience experiences. Appreciate each one you have had the privilege to let into your life because they truly are a privilege!
To be privileged is not to be resourced, but is the ability that one can be and do things (whether they be material or immaterial). Appreciate everything you have and are, its all worth appreciating....
Appreciate that you have today to live and tomorrow to correct,
today to dream and tomorrow to hope,
today to hug and tomorrow to heal...
hug to hold so that you can heal...
Thunderstorms, floods, hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes and volcanos all are notoriously know for the destruction they leave and the lives they claim, but how many of these do we ever try to harness or control or "re-direct". How many people who live in these high threat areas do we think to rehouse, out of concern and safety of these imminent threats? Hmm let me think. NONE!! I REPEAT NONE!
Why do we spend fortunes on building "earthquakes proof" and "flood proof" housing in these area instead of simply un-inhabiting them? Would it not be more wise and cheaper to just live somewhere else?? Yet we don't do that? No, we stand and we face these natural phenomenons head on?!
So why, may I ask, are we so fixated with controlling this current "natural phenomenon"? Infectious disease, is it not a "natural phenomenon"? Then why, I ask, are we so fixated with "controlling" it, "manipulating" it "re-directing" it, why are we causing more problems than solutions?
Why, may I ask, are we not letting life and people be? Why are we suffocating both the lives and livelihood of humanity?
Is it not MUCH BETTER to empower the people with knowledge of how to keep themselves "safe", how to keep themselves healthy, so that even if they do get a hit they can stand up and shake it off with relative ease?
Why are we not empowering people with self empowerment?
Is that not only much more efficient and effective in the long run, but also a better, more wiser course of action, than to try and dictate actions of the masses for unknown lengths of periods at a time for unknown amounts of times?
Actions that not only are crippling the economy, robbing the masses of their livelihood, proving to be detrimental to the future of the youth and their mental/emotional health, but also detrimental to our elderly and vulnerable, the very people whom we are thinking we are protecting through these very dictated actions? In actual reality what we are doing to our elderly and vulnerable is signing away their life to a fate worse than death of seemingly endless isolation and alienation from the living breathing life of society!
How? How, I ask, is this helping anybody!!! How!!
People who are meant to die, WILL DIE!!! you or me doing anything is not going to prevent every life that this or any other illness or natural phenomenon is destined to claim! Now you may not believe in predestined or fate or any of such things and I am not asking you to, but as a human you must at least understand that their is NO CHEATING DEATH! You may think that you have "out lived" your life expectancy, or cheated death if you have a narrow escape, but sooner or later it will catch you, it always does!
Now I appreciate all that said, no one wants to see their loved ones go, especially if they go in natural disasters or unnatural incidences or "pandemics", we feel as if they have been cheated on by life. And I fully understand and resonate with that sentiment, I do! That is exactly why I say, educate, educate, educate! empower, empower, empower!
You do have what it takes to take back the reins of your health and life in your hands! Take it out of the hands of others, you don't need multitudes of tests and drugs. What you need is to understand what YOUR BODY needs, how much sleep, how much exercise, how much fat, protein, carbs, vitamins, minerals, fun, inspiration, intellectual and creativity activity, its all unique to and for you. You are not a car battery out of a box identical to every other car battery out there ever made under a certain "type cast", requiring the same amount of acid and alkaline balance, needing to be wired up in the exact same way, needing to be looked after in the exact same way. NO!
You are an individual, a living and breathing individual, who needs to look within to see what you yourself need. No one lives your life, walks your walk, deals with the people and environment that you do or have to in the way in which you do.
So how can what you need in your life, to make your life better, healthier and happier be the same as what anyone else needs! It just can't! It does not work that way and SHOULD NOT work that way!
Mainstream medicine is now understanding this and trying to work at understanding and implementing it, but it's a long long way from being "freely" available.
Why not instead of spending billions upon bring the country to a crashing halt and then billions to kick start it again, only to keep doing it again and again, we actually spend the money where it can benefit not only the medical units across the world, but also the people that they serve?
Why not pour money into spreading this knowledge, deepening this knowledge and implementing this knowledge?
Maybe if we do so, you may actually find that some people who were "vulnerable" actually liberate themselves from said vulnerabilities and survive a hit that they otherwise would not have? Maybe by improving peoples health and healthcare instead of just delaying a deadly inevitable exposure to the a virus, we empower and equip them to face it head on, fight it and defeat it?
I don't want avoidable deaths to happen just as much as the next person, but what I am saying is that I don't think the way we are going about it is necessarily the most efficient and effective way of achieving said goal.
The way forward is not "locking in", but locking out and unleashing the power of true health and healthcare!
Learn and understand your body, for when the "war" begins, it's not what you have on the outside that matters, but what you have on the inside that sees you through to win the fight!
Build your body, mind and self, not fear!
To true health, happiness, knowledge and empowerment!
For it is not ignorance that prevails, but empowerment that perseveres!
To knowledge, because for knowledge there really is no substitute!
My aim has always been to avoid either extreme, to take an informed balance approach, now I have that semi down re the elephant, but its all the strings attached to it so to speak that I struggle with. This whole school closure thing has my mind and heart all up in a twist. For once I feel uncertain about what is the sensible approach.
Whether you believe this virus to be the threat they say or not, one thing is clear the government’s efforts are to contain it, and the only way inevitably will be to shut schools, no matter how much they appear to deny it now. Now whether it is the right thing to do or not, is not the issue for me here anymore. My issue is, if that is the case, that this will have to be the action and its just a matter of time, then why are we delaying it? (Apart from the obvious that its going to cost the government a packet and then some!) But on a personal level, the longer the schools are open, the more widespread it becomes, therefore the more chances of every school being infected increases day by day, its simple maths really! If you are going to take this action, is it not better you take it before you are infected, so to actually reap benefit from it? Even if one person is infected in the school, by the time it is confirmed it is to late and the damage done! Whether you believe it to be a threat or not, but common sense dictates if you are going to take an action for a certain result, should you not take it when you have a shot at attaining said result? You know that whole, strike when the iron is hot thing, ring a bell???
So here I stand torn between two pieces of my own common sense, I fail to see clearly what is sensible anymore? I mean it should be really very obvious shouldn’t it! I know the elephant, I can see the strings and yet I stand bewildered thinking am I the crazy in the room??
I don’t want to pull my children out of school and yet I can’t see the benefits of delaying the inevitable; when in doing so you only negate the result for which the action is to be taken for in the first place!
You can’t catch a plane after its has departed!
So alas I sit here as a person trying to live with common sense and as a mother who would like to make sensible and right choices for her children to the best of my mental, emotional and physical ability.
I think when one puts it in this way, there really is no choice, no dilemma, no confusion or doubt of the sensible!
In the war between a woman and a mother,
A mother is always right!
Here is to us all, to finding peace within ourselves, because at the end of the day when all is said and done and there is nothing but the quiet of the night, there is only one voice to be heard and to answer to, the little voice of reason within you!
To Self Peace!
Stay safe and happy!
This space features my reflections, opinions, ponderings and from time to time announcements of what I am up to. It literally is me in my corner on my soapbox.
Seeking some direction or motivation for your thoughts or life then look no further!
OTHER BLOG SPACES:
Cooking Is The Season
Finding The Way
Hire A Chef
Lifeline Adult Mentoring
Story Train Series