There is a lot of talk nowadays about frequency: our frequency, interference with other frequencies (like Wi-Fi and 4G/5G. etc.) light therapy/ effects of different lights upon us etc.. Although this is more commonly talked about in recent times, its actually not a “new” discovery or "new phenomenon" for the human race.
 
Our ancestors understood this a long time ago. They may not have given it these titles, but the concept was the same. Let us look at Feng Shui for example, it too talks about energies, harmonising our energies and that of our environment. Architects who build churches centuries ago understood the importance of the church sound travelling not just well around the inside of the building, but also how it resonated outside into the town and the positive impacts this has on the town. Churches were designed and placed in a way so that the sounds would resonate out in a certain way. Why? Because Sound, affects us.
 
Sound, light, heat, “energy”, they are all energy. The energies we put out, receive and hold inside of us, impact us and our surrounding. Recently we have come to understand that using artificial materials in not great; neither for putting inside of us, on top of us, or around us. With inside and on top, its fairly easy to understand about how the chemicals may react with us; but when it comes to having the artificial materials around us – not only are the chemicals in it (and it gives off to us) toxic, but also how it bounces energies back can also impact us.
 
In the art of Feng Shui, they talk about moving things around to help the energy flow through the environment in a different way. Well if you jog your memory back to some of your Physics lessons you may or may not remember doing some experiments with sound and light waves, possibly using ripples in water as a visual simulation of the phenomenon. Well if you can think back to those lessons, you may or may not remember how placing obstacles in certain places changed how the waves behaved. Now imagine that but on a bigger scale, like your room. How energy bounces off and around the room will vary depending on what is there and how it is placed. The Art of Feng Shui was not all that far off from our modern day understanding of physics now was it!?!
 
Now let’s also consider what energies we give off all the time when we are at home. That is the energy then that we and our family are living in constantly and reabsorbing. If you are sitting in worry and fear, guess what energy you and your family are feeding off of?
 
For those of you who are Muslim, you may recall Surah Fathiha, the Surah read in every rikhat of every prayer, is also known as Surah Shiffa (the healing verses)!! So when we read this surah its unique wave pattern (frequency) is emitted in and around us and therefore affects us – so is it any wonder why Allah has made this Surah an essential and so frequent part of our daily lives? Is it any wonder why it is said there is peace to be found in prayer? Is it any wonder why we are supposed to have the Azaans (call for prayer) resonate out into the town 5 times a day?
 
Frequency.
 
We all have our own frequencies.
 
We all emit our own frequency as well as that of what we are feeling. When are feeling low and allowing lots of things to bring us down, we are vibrating at a lower frequency. When we are feeling light and full of joy, we vibrate at a higher frequency - at our optimum, closer and truer to our pure selves; with our energy flowing more freely within us.
 
We are all affected by frequencies.
 
When we get affected by something, we can allow it to: ‘disturb’ our frequency for a short time and allow it to pass through us; or we can choose to block it out preventing it from entering us; or we can hold on to it once it has entered within us, preventing it from running its due course and leaving us, and let it keep affecting us.
 
The truth is, life will always bring things our way, we have to allow them to pass through us. If we choose to block it then we are firstly exerting a lot of energy in putting up a shield, thus not living in and at our optimum; and secondly in doing so resisting what ‘upgrade’ it needed to bring to us, and also preventing other things from entering us too – therefore also preventing them from preforming there ‘upgrades’ within us as well (and I say ‘upgrade’, because like computer software, we too need constant ‘upgrading’ in life; otherwise we are not learning and growing, only staying static). Life is about our own personal growth and self-discovery, thus fulfilment; therefore blocking ‘upgrades’ is defeating our purpose of life. Thus we do need these upgrade in life; whether they come from “good” experiences or “bad” is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things; the experiences are only there for us to learn and grow from, they are not good and bad in and off themselves ( see my "Finding Gratitude" post to explore more into this subject).
 
 
When we hold on to things, we hold on to those energies. These clogged up energies then prevent our own energy from flowing freely within us. They then over time become stagnant, this stagnant energy then affects the cells it is housed in and around. Left long enough dis-eases starts to set in, because these cells are not able to vibrate at their optimum so they stop working at there optimum; eventually it can even lead to pathological changes in the tissues.
 
We have to let go of these energies that we are holding on to. They were brought to us as a life lesson, not a life sentence. Let go of them. They will do you no good to hold on to them; and this applies for both ‘good’ and ‘bad’ ‘energies’. Don’t cling on to the past. The more you hold on to the past, the more you will find you are not here in the present.

Life is not what has happened or what is going to happen. Life only exists in the now. This is where life is happening and unfolding living and breathing; reconnect with your physical in the now.

Again, no surprise why breathing is a big thing these days. A lot of work is being done with breathe work these days, because it brings us back into our bodies - into the now, into the present moment were we are literally living and breathing. Also not something which is new. Our ancestors knew the importance of becoming and staying present. Remember just because they didn’t have “modern” technologies does not mean they too have not “lived”! Like we say to our kids: been there done that, they too can say that they too have been there and done that in all their experiences of life too.

Despite the “modernisation”, and upgrades that have come with it that we have implemented into daily life, the human being and its ‘human-nus’ has not changed one bit.
 
 
When it comes to letting go of stagnant energies and shields, we can come to it ourselves through insights which allow us to let go of those stagnant energies; or we can come to it through therapeutic tools: the Chinese medicine ways unblock energy; the Ayurvedic ways unblock energies; reading and listening to the Quran unblocks energies; Homeopathy, (the energy waves medicine) also unblocks energies. It does not matter how you go about it, so long as you do go about it.

...

 
Its all about “energy”; its quality and its flow.


 
Energy


Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only transformed. It’s the law of Physics.

​
 
Transform your energy to a new better frequency.
 
 
 
 
To receive we must first emit…
 
To connect to higher frequencies, we must first emit them to start off with.
 
Literally: We are with what we connect!
 
 
Much Love to you all.
 
X

Homeopathy is for all – it’s a way of life not a treatment.
 
Homeopathy is not the “name” of a “treatment type”, it is a practice, it is an art, it is a way of living and the way of life. Homeopathy is born from and of nature, it abides by the rules of nature. Despite being the Science of life, “Science” and scientist are often baffled by it thus claiming it to be a “placebo effect”. But where I ask is the placebo effect when a baby benefits from the art of Homeopathy; where is the placebo effect when an animal benefits from the practice of homeopathy; where is the placebo effect when a plant finds its strength from the miracles of homeopathy?
 
Homeopathy like the other phenomenon of the natural world is difficult to decipher, yet simultaneous is mind blowingly simple. In fact that is where the beauty lies, it’s so simple that one cannot understand how it can be. Something does not have to be overly complicated to be incredibly powerful. Power lies not in the complexities, but simply by being profoundly effective; and that is why homeopathy despite appearing to be baffling is exceedingly simple, yet incredibly effective. Moreover the other beauty: you do not need to believe in it for it to work; the Sun does not need you to believe in it for it to exist and give out its radiant warmth and light to you, it is just giving it out and you will just receive it, regardless of whether you believe it understand or in fact even want it. You can even attempt to lock yourself away from the Sun into a cold dark room, yet the effects of the Sun’s energy, presence and ability will still reach you – life cannot exist on earth if there was no Sun and if it was not of the exact nature that it is.
 
The laws of nature are so simple that we overlook it. Nature is designed for all of us to live, survive and thrive in it, irrespective of our capacities to understand it. Someone who has never seen a written word has equal access to the bounties of nature to one who has read and written ten thousand books. Sometimes we get so carried away with trying to figure out what is it in something that enables its actions that we miss the fact that it is not dependant on the why or how or our capacities of deciphering the whys and hows, for it to be able to have the actions it does. We try to go in so deep into the depths of every chemical present in every cell that we actually miss the real picture; hyper analysis, classifications, deductions are all well for wanting to understand the ins and outs of how and why, however, it often makes us miss the real marvel which is the actual action itself. It is not important that to get from A to Z the route taken in this example was via PQ and R, It could have been WX and Y , or BC and D what is important and what actually matters is that you get to Z. Z is the important thing to always remember. And that is the most profound difference between Allopathic and Homeopathic practices. Allopathy busiest itself with deciphering the PQ and R’s in hope that deciphering it mean it can be replicated, controlled and magnified; meanwhile Homeopathy looks only at the Z, because it knows in the grand scheme of things the rest is irrelevant, because it could have taken any route, the route it took was not important the result it produced is the real key.
 
The law that IS Homeopathy:
 
LIKE CURES LIKE
 
It is not how it has come to be that matters, all that matters is that it is what it is. If I am a ‘Z’ and it is a ‘z’ that is all that is important, not why or how it is a ‘z’. All I need to know is that it is a ‘z’ that is it. It being a ‘z’ is all I need to remind myself how to be a ‘z’ as well, because when we are no longer in our full element, we sometimes forget how to get back to being in our full element so all we need is a little nudge; a gentle reminder; for something to show us how to get back to ourselves, and that is enough to get us back on track. It is not any external stimuli that “fixes us”; WE “fix” ourselves, by remembering how to be ourselves. Thus, as I said before, it really does not matter what route anything has taken to get to ‘Z’, because we are not dependant on one fixed route to allow us to get to ‘Z’, we already know how we ourselves can to get to ‘z’, we just need reminding that that is where we are trying to go.
 
 
Our bodies are what heal us, homeopathy, just helps us get back on track so that we can reach our destination.
 

​They say there are always two sides to a story, what they don't say is that both sides have an agenda. They would not be telling you their side of the story if they didn't want you to see things from their perspective, if they didn't want you to "approve" of their actions.
 
Always be mindful of these agendas.
 
The truth is always somewhere in-between both sides, our job is to sift away the agendas and always seek the truth in every story.

​The more you learn, the more you realize how little you know; the more you see, the more you realize how little you see; the more you live, the more you realize how little your living really is.
 
No matter how wide you open your gaze you can absorb only a finite amount. What I see, may not be what you see; but equally what you see, is not what I see.
 
There will always be something that the other person knows not, that I know; but equally there will always be something that the other knows, that I do not. So what is with this imaginary egotistical arrogance and superiority over another? It is all in your head! Come out of your head and see how little it is that you truly know! Everyone is an expert in the knowledge that they hold; mocking one for knowledge that another does not seem to possess which you have been lucky to stumble upon, shows not their ignorance and lacking, but shows your small mindedness!
 
If you can count to 1000 in both English and French it makes you not superior to one who can count to a million in Swahili, only different.
Hypothetically, if you are currently in class 12 and you know more than a Human who is currently in grade 2, does that make you superior? The fact that you compare yourself to one in grade 2 reflects a lacking in yourself.
 
Any knowledge that has been brought to you is not for you to gloat, but rather entrusted upon you to share. Don't be a miser with your knowledge, share it, for with sharing it can only ever grow! And I say share it (and not arrogantly flaunt it!), because with sharing comes the concomitant act of compassion, which is humbling and cannot be achieved without love!

​I got reminded again today why I chose a Steiner education for my children.


The whole feeling of disheartening that comes with the mainstream approach to education came knocking on my door once again today. I felt, yet again, what it is like to work so hard on something and get it thrown back in your face as “not good enough”, because although 'you demonstrate a good understanding... include the obvious'! What do they mean by that: well although it is apparent from the work that I understand it, but as I have not used their favourite "key words"- ‘stated the obvious’- which win the brownie points, means my work is sub par!


The frustrations of my childhood days run wild through my veins again, where children who actually put in sub par effort and read cliff notes to bag brownie points excelled and children who spent hours with bucket loads of effort got left stranded as “not good enough”.


This whole system is designed for compliance!


You say the right words, do the right actions and you get rewarded, if you veer from what the authority deems necessary you are penalised. The system is not designed to allow learning and gaining of knowledge, it is there to “school” you, train you to comply and then rate you as to how well you comply.


When I stepped into the world of learning once again, I hoped I was walking into a place that would be more respective of real education, but alas it was my wishful thinking that led me to believe that there could be a world free of brownie points outside of the Steiner realms.


I chose Steiner Education for this very reason for my children. I wanted them to enjoy learning, I wanted them to engage in it whole heartedly. All the while with their efforts and learning appreciated for its own merits, and not marked or ranked according to one persons perception of what an understanding of a subject consists of. After all one mans understanding is only as good as their own comprehension abilities. Who is to say that another person’s comprehension, be it even a child’s is not better than theirs! Does the name Thomas Edison ring any bells?
As Rudolf Steiner says in The Spiritual Ground of Education-


“We must never imagine that we are the most intelligent people at the summit of human intelligence; this, in fact, would show that we are very poor teachers. Rather, we should think of ourselves as only relatively intelligent. This is a more realistic mind-set than the other. Now in this state of consciousness, we enter the classroom. As we enter, we must remember that, among these children, there may be a very intelligent being, one who in later life will be far more intelligent than we. Now if we, who are only relatively intelligent, were to bring up this child to be only as intelligent as ourselves, we would render him merely a copy of ourselves. This would be quite wrong. The correct approach would be to educate this very intelligent individual to grow and become far more intelligent than we could ever be. This means that there is something in a person that we must not touch, something we must approach with sensitive reverence, if we are to exercise the art of education properly.”


This! This is the primary and most fundamental difference between Steiner education and mainstream education for me! The whole attitude surrounding how a child is educated makes a fundamental differences in how a human being develops and grows. This has been my biggest beef with mainstream education, why is there only one perspective that is acceptable? I am not saying I am more profoundly intelligent than my educators, I don’t have to be to hold a different perspective; but why is a different perspective disregarded? After all is it not different perspectives and thinking outside of the box that has lead society to where it is at today?


Every great discovery was horrifically outrageous at the time it was proposed and yet today it is widely accepted as “truth”. So why is having a different point of view so wrong? Why is thinking of it in different ways penalised? Why can it not be allowed to be pondered over? After all one is innocent until proven guilty are they not? So why is an opinion, a perspective not allowed to be until proven otherwise?

I am not saying that I do not appreciate the “wider accepted views of the world”, but why can I not allow that to be, but also still hold my own perspectives too? I am not arrogantly thinking my views are better, they are just different, why can I not be allowed to hold me views until proven otherwise? Why can I not be allowed appreciation for my work despite it not holding the “key words”? Why is my demonstration of understanding not good enough? Why do we have to earn brownie points to show our worth, why can it not be allowed for our own worth to speak for itself?

Why does our worth need to be measured against others and be quantified? I am not like anyone else and no one else is like me. Why can I not be seen and appreciated for my own unique traits that I have to bring and offer to the world? Why do I have to hold the same or equal abilities as others, why can I not have my own weird and wonderful flavour that I can bring to the table? If all Coffees tasted the same would that not be boring?? Allow children to grow and learn in their own way. Develop there own unique tones and flavours that they can enrich the world with; for you and I do not know what it is that they have to unfold into. Do not force them into a box that will restrict their growth only into certain ways, for every flower needs to bloom into its very own unique shape.


It was this thinking that led me to firmly choose a different path for my children, so that their thinking and being could be allowed to be and appreciated for what it is and not pounded out of them in the name of “education” by “superior” intelligence.


On the dawn of the new year, I love you and leave you with another of my favourite quotes of Steiner’s from the same text:


“it is important to foster the development of a child’s inherent capacities. Thus, all teaching must be at the service of education. Strictly speaking, the task is to educate, and teaching is used as a means of educating.”
 

​I was at a talk last night, which came to be due to a growing demand from worried parents and caregivers over how to navigate the digital world. The talk, although very enlighten, had to be cut short (due to logistical reasons), leaving me behind with again this burning desire to write.


Now, I am no tech guru, I am no expert of any sort, I don’t have figures and quotes to spare, All I am is a mum working out day by day how to navigate motherhood and all I have is a bit of free tips to share.


Interested?

Well firstly there is the “why”
-Why we need to be aware and careful with the growing digital world.

Then there is the inevitable “when”
-When really is a “safe” or “a least detrimental” or “an age appropriate” time to hand over any sort of tech device to the younger generation.

Then comes the “which”
-Which devices are safer or better to start off with and I don’t mean the: “should I go for a Samsung or iPhone” “which”, I mean whether it should be a laptop, a brick phone, a smart phone or a tablet etc.

Lastly is the all important “how”
-How do I make myself tech aware enough to aid my child in being e-safe in every sense of the word!
-How do I have a handle on the situation, so that my child does not live entirely in the digital world and does come out to visit the rest of "the real" world now and then.
-How do I communicate with my child, so they do not want to socially close me off in an attempt of rebellionizm in the name of “privacy”.

These are all very important questions, issues and worries.


The first and most important part is to recognise them all! When you break up the whole undigestible loaf of chaos and mayhem into small chewable bites, you will find that there is a glimmer of light at the end of this wormhole.


STEP 1: WHY


Well thankfully, most of the people here in our Steiner community, recognise a whole lot of the “why”. They are very aware of it. The dangers with how it psychologically effects a human being irrelevant of age. How it physically effects and at times permanently changes the physiology of the human brain, even at later stages of human development, not just at the early stages. How the radiation coming from each devices is dangerous for us. How our over usage of "wirelessness" is damaging not just the view, but the earth, animals and environment and each of our bodies. How on a social level, it is damaging in more ways than one can count. Teens growing up without ability to actually socialise in person. Adults living in isolation due to falling prisoner to this virtual world. Relationship of every and all sorts, falling victim to the multiple issues that are coming hand and hand with instant messaging. Cyber bulling, online grooming. Identity theft, anxiety due to FOMO, depression due to trolling and/or due to feelings of self pity, induced by constantly viewing everyones airbrushed lives and comparing them to our “flawed uncensored ones”. The list goes on and on and we have barely scratched the surface of this beast.


Now one would say with all these cons attached to this world, why aren’t we all running a mile in the opposite direction. Why are we still allowing us and our children to go down this slippery slope.

Well the answer is quite simple. The “whole world” is doing it, the “whole world” is running on it, and we feel we “can not survive” without it, along with the few pros that do come with it, all of these reasons are keep us hooked on. I am sure there are still some people out there, in the “modern world”, who have completely managed to stay on the sidelines of this show and not join in, but those people nowadays are but a few.

Most of the modern world has joined in on this band waggon and as always, everything, no matter how dangerous, still has a purpose. The accessibility, the simplicity the connect-ability has changed the face of the modern work world, some of which is definitely without a doubt for the positive. All these changes mean, even for some of us wanting to keep a zero to low profile in the virtual world, we still end up having to have an existence on it, no matter how miniscule.



Now this leads us on to the when; We, as adults, have somewhat established that its a wild horse, but we have no choice but to ride it. Nevertheless us accepting it and come to terms with it and hopefully keep our own selves in check in regards to it, as adults, is one thing, but to then have to turn and hand that device on to our children and say "here you go buddy happy birthday, have fun!" Is another thing entirely!




STAGE 2: WHEN


A knife no matter how dangerously sharp still has a purpose, but would you go and hand that to a toddler, no I don’t think so. A knife is a tool, it needs to be used as one. Children at some stage of there life, do need to be taught how to use it, you can not keep it away from them forever, saying its dangerous you can never touch it. No, that is not very sensible, otherwise next thing you know; one day when you are not available and they really want to cut something they will reach for it thinking they can do it and end up having an accident with it. The sensible thing to do is to present it to them at an age when they are old enough to respect it, but eager enough to still learn from YOU! The key factor in this statement is still wanting to learn from you. I say this with emphasis, as we humans are always learning something from somewhere. Often we lay importance to the act of learning, but what we forget is, where they learn from, is actually very vital. If they go and learn from a space that is not safe, what type of information do you think they will be learning?

This is why I say that having an “open door” policy with children, is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER! What do I mean by open door, well to put it simply, have a relationship with them such that they always feel they can walk in and ask you anything, no matter how embarrassing, disturbing, humiliating or infuriating for either person. This comes with you having a relationship with them that is trusting. Trusting to keep there secrets safe, trusting that you will not over-react, trusting that you will not lie to them, mis-guide them, trick them, fool them or humiliate them and also maybe most importantly tell them off.

Telling off children may be at times necessary, but it is very important to recognise when giving a big long lecture is not what is needed. When they come to you in reverence and to confide; understanding and reassurance is what is called for.

Have open and honest conversations with them, that is presented to them in an age appropriate way. However in a way such that, it is left open ended, so that it can be re-visited and built up on in the future, as and when needed. You do not have to give them the full 411 from word go; give them enough to answer their immediate concern/query. Leave the rest hanging to visit another day and also tell them this. For example: “how about we talk about the rest another day”. They need little digestible sized chunks of information.


You may feel that I may have slipped off subject here, but there is a method to the madness. Now why did I go off on a tangent with knives and talks then? Well just like a knife is a tool, the devices of the media realm, are also tools. We need to find the sweet spot for our own individual children and us, it will be different for each child, only you as the parent will be in the best position to judge when the right time is for each child (as even with siblings it can and will differ).

I say this because both girls and boys, in general develop differently, then how they are individually as a child, how their relationship is with you is also just as important a factor, what your family and educational needs are. Only you can judge when you feel your child is mature enough to handle such a device and also still be on a healthy relationship with you, to respect and understand you enough to actually listen to you and hear you!

Those are two very different and very important elements of any relationship! Do not kid yourself, if you have a teen/pre-teen, your relationship at some point will get tested from the teen’s side, don’t take it personally, take it as it is: changes induced by internal changes of the teen, but these changes do not have to be permanent. Remember always, you are the adult, you will need to adjust and bend and come to terms with living with another adult; whom you are not yet quite willing to accept as one.

Don’t be antagonistic, give them space and time and most importantly respect! They are coming to there own, when they come out of this transition, they will be an adult! This stage is vital for the future of your relationship. Try to find a sweet healthy balance between your relationship, a space where they are still comfortable to approach you if they need your help. This is only achieved if you give them space to grow and respect to explore their new found opinions and voice.

Accept that their opinions will be different to yours and at times, they may not even be at all sound, but they need to discover somethings “on their own”. Which means they do not want you to say, “you are wrong, how you think is wrong” etc etc… instead a more helpful way might be, saying it in a way so that they can take away a different perspective and explore it on their own.

For example, “I definitely agree with you, Greta Thunburg has definitely got lots of sound ideas, lots of great opinions. Did you also manage to catch what Professor Asmeret Asefaw Berhe was saying in her Ted talk, about how we can all also help effectively to tackle climate change by looking after the soil around us as well? You should check her out, I would love to hear what your thoughts are on what she was saying.”
-A way to introduce another person in the picture for them, to see that there are more great people out there trying to make a positive change on the climate issue. People of all ages are trying to do their part, not just the “young”; just as an example of a potential conversation.


Coming back to the when, so, incase if it has not been very obvious, see my constant referral to a certain age group, “teens”. This is because before this stage, the child is at a different growing cycle and one that really should not be disturbed with this somewhat alien influence upon their body.

​It is from the age of 14, give or take, that the child transitions into the next stage of development, where they will be exploring more the world. It is at this stage, that I believe, at some point when you feel right, that introduction to this world is at the goldilocks stage, the “just right” place. In the school where my children are at, it is also at this stage that they are, not co-incidentally may I add, requested to bring in their own laptops. This now leads us quite nicely onto the “which”.


STAGE 3: WHICH


Now unless your child is travelling on their own, there really is no need whatsoever for them to have a mobile, especially if you have a landline. If they neeeeeed to talk to their friends, they can, via the landline; or if you are out, from a parents phone if it really is that “urgently desperate”, which rest assured, really isn’t!! (I mean come on we were teens once!!).


Now if your child does travel on their own, a brick phone (aka one without any WIFI 4G compatibility) is more than sufficient. Yes they do still exist in this world and actually you may be surprised more and more people are turning back to them! (method to the madness!)


Next, laptops- according to my “little bit techy” husband, laptops/PC’s are most probably the lesser of all of these evils. Reason being they are less practical for “instantaneousness”. The children are less likely to constantly be on a device. Especially if you for example: have fixed hours of agreed “casual/social/gaming” usage, have the wifi only on at certain times and not on constant or at least switched off at night etc. then the addiction likelihood is significantly reduced.


As there is a reduced likelihood of the neck strain issues that are of a growing concern stemming from the constant usage of mobile phones and the bad posture associated with it, it also adds to the benefits of using laptops over using smart phones. If used off of tables and/or at least lap cushions, then there is also reduced exposure from the machine to the body, of harmful artificial heat and radiation. On the same note also a less likelihood of them sleeping with it in bed due to its clunkiness, again eliminating the risk that comes with sleeping with mobile phones in bed.


Smartphones/tablets- now really becoming one of the same things. The benefits of course with these devices is the constant accessibility to your emails and other apps. Which is of benefit for some lines of work, or even as busy parents, but as a student, this type of "constantness" is definitely not of any requirement, nor of any positive benefit. Therefore in my opinion best to avoid for as far as possible!




The perfect combination, in my opinion, would be a brick phone and a laptop which could easily see them through to 18 without any issues. In fact, if there isn’t any actual genuine pressing need for a smartphone, one could argue that that is all that one does need full stop. Yes it does mean we would need to go back to relying on our ability to read maps for example, but if one exercises the brain more, that isn’t a bad thing!


Now this is of course in the ideal world, unfortunately a place which we do not reside in. In the real world things are never this hunky dory and we do end up having to give into our children’s peer pressure; because let’s face it, parents in general (we are all equally guilty of this, in some shape or form) will all agree that this is not happening and yet at the first sign of children demanding, give in and start the vicious circle of peer pressure.


So in the real world, you probably will end up getting them a laptop, as that is most probably a requirement from school. You most probably may try to go down the brick phone route or no phone route, for as long as it is possible, but definitely before the reach 18 they will at some point start pestering you for a smartphone. The most likely outcome will be, you having to give in, because as much as you are holding it off, it does come to the point of you feeling that you are just being cruel to your child. Even though you are not, you are in fact doing them a favour, but we are human and human nature is such that there is only so much we can cope with. Especially if we ourselves have it and we can in some form “afford” it, then we will end up giving in.


Like I said before, I am talking in the realm of children who are 14+. They may start pleading with you from as young as 10/11, please just do not even entertain the idea with them! I know as I look around everyday in buses, cafes, etc children as little as 3 or 4 have there own devices. Honestly I wish I could stop them in the streets and tell them do not do this to your children, but sadly this world is not one to take any type of advice they haven’t asked for anymore. Especially not from a random stranger and that too, one they would be running a mile in the other direction from. (The elephant in the room, but that is a story for another time and space).


So having given in, now the question arises what do I do? This leads us on to the “How”


STAGE 4: HOW


“how do I make myself tech aware enough to aid my child in being e-safe in every sense of the word!”


As old fashioned as this advice maybe, but there really is no beating the age old secret of “READING”, read read read, that my friends needs to be your best friend!! This is a constantly changing world, no two days are the same in this world, you MUST read. If you want to know what is happening, how to stay safe and keep young ones safe, the only way you will know about what the latest threat is, if you read. The more you read, the more you will be clued in on to exactly what things are doing the rounds on the internet. From the scary “Mo Mo” life threatening game, to the latest virus threats that could hack your device.


You need to be part of the virtual world yourself: learn from it, experience it and read it, so to enable you to know how emotionally it can affect a person. You do not need to be engaging in every action and practice, but you need to be aware or it.

For example you do not need to be trolled yourself, but if you read people’s comments on things you can start to experience how emotionally damaging some comments can be. If you have a certain idea about how people can be so ruthless, for no real reason, you will know that your child may need support emotionally in certain ways if they are posting things online.

Remember they may not always come to you to tell you someone was so horrid online, because they may think that you might think its no big deal or they may think I can handle it; because I can’t make myself known to be emotionally weak and unfit to handle this world and so on so forth.

Or on the other spectrum they become over obsessed with the selfie culture and go posting mad due to cravings for appreciation and then feel overwhelmingly depressed if then their photos are not liked, but be unable to explain their massive breakouts of anger due to it.

These things can be soul crushing. You need to be aware how these things can change the behaviour of your children, how they can psychologically effect them at times permanently. You will only be aware of it if you are aware of what happens in the online world.


How to tackle these things. You can not tackle them in hind sight, well you can, but that’s not the best place to start. As always the best place to start is from the beginning.

Before you hand them these devices, you need to request/ make an agreement/ a pack, whatever you want to call it and how ever you feel you can approach the subject with your children; but you need to have this conversation with them: that they always keeping you in the loop online.

I.e. that you can befriend them online, you will keep a zero to very low presence on their social media sites, but you want to be added so that you can see what they are getting up to, what is happening and stuff (not like a spy, but just as a friend). You promise you will not mother them online, or embarrass them, either in person, amongst friends or online. You just want to still be a silent part of their world just on the sidelines. This is where that trust comes back in again, if you have a good bond and strong trust between you, then they will be willing to trust that you will do as you are saying.

You need to talk to them about, if they see trolling, whether they are facing it, their friends are facing it or just a random person X is , but it is hurting them or making them feel upset to always talk about it. It is a big deal, it is very wrong and how certain website do have a place for you to report them or at the very least block them.


Talk about how lots of people do put on pics of themselves/food/their work/travel and how its ok, but sometimes it can be fun at first with your friends all "liking it" and enjoy it and commenting about it. It may make you feel really excited and fantastic inside, but its not really a healthy practice: to judge your worth from these things.

People change, people get busy, people may start feeling jealous or fed up or feel resentment and start not likely your pics or writings, they may un-friend you or leave unpleasant comments etc, which will start having bad effects on you. From feeling low, because people are not liking your things, to feeling angry and frustrated. All these things lead to an unpleasant space and place, all it does is make you shallow and addicted to what other people say. None of these practices have any sort of healthy outcome. It's best to refrain from them. Yes to occasionally want to put a pic of yourself up, is one thing, but to constantly have that in your mind to put up pics is definitely not a healthy thing.


Talk to them about how and why you do not want them to be online late at night so there will be a type of imaginary curfew for the phone/wifi etc. But making sure that then the same rule is also followed through by all the other adults too. So that you are not a hypocrite. Explain to them that if you do need to be on your device for which ever reason at night, you will allow it, if it is a reasonable request. But with that enforce that they must always make sure they have at least a lamp on in the room, so that the screen’s glaring light is not the only thing blinding your eyes at night and how that is extremely harmful for your eyes.

This flexibility will make them more willing to respect the rules and hopefully prevent them from going behind your back and sneaking around with it. Don’t make it forbidden and taboo, the more you try to make a big deal about a thing and take it from them, the more they will want it more and more.

This is not a fight about power and control, this is a time to teach them to have a healthy relationship with this world for life. Its bigger than “the now”, always focus on the bigger picture! Educate yourself and educate them about why certain practices are not healthy. Encourage them and show them by example how to build a healthy relationship with this world.


"Meal times, how to retain that reverent family time at meal times".

Do not bring your phone to the table, do not answer anything that rings at meal times- and this is a practice one should always have, irrelevant of if they have children and how old they maybe. Keep meal times a “family time”. If you never bring the phone to the table, then you will also be respected and heard when you ask your teen not to!

Get them to start cooking at least one day a week. This has many benefits. Not only will they learn a vital life skill, but when they slave hard in the kitchen, then they will also respect the fact how important it is for the other people to be "present"-in every sense of the word, at the table when the table is laid. They will learn the importance of the table attendees enjoying the meal, respecting it and praising it! And hopefully also how important a little bit of help can be when you are cooking for the family; if someone offers to lay the table or wash some dishes, then they will hopefully be more inclined to think of helping when it is not their turn to cook.


When you assign them a meal time to cook, don't just assign them a meal, teach them how to meal plan for it, shop for it. These are also vital skills that they will need later in life. Tell them it doesn’t have to be fancy or complicated, you will all happily eat whatever they will prepare for you. Teach them both, how to shop in local shops and online. More and more people are shopping online these days and its is a very empowering practice for them to learn, that you can buy fresh groceries with a click of a button, just like you can order from "just eat" with a click of a button. It will also teach them that the virtual world can be used to make your life easy, as oppose to just for gaming and socialising. If they are not very excited for it, start videoing them when they cook, so they can feel they are on a Youtube video or TV show to get them excited about cooking. They love this type of attention. You do not have to put any of it actually online, unless you both want to, but it is a nice way of getting them excited about it and wanting to do more and more with there meals.


Please remember these are just my own personal tips, I am sure there are a lot more way and things that one can do. These are just what has been whizzing around my head, for now the past week, as it’s taken me a week to actually complete this.


One more thing as I (finally) take your leave, (its been a long one this one), keep the teen engaged with lots of planned activities. The more their schedule is full, the less time they have for any other distractions. Having strong family routines, with a healthy mix of fun and games, activities and chores, classes and school, all ensure that they will hopefully stay engaged and interested in the real world and less available to “kill time” on the virtual one.


If you stuck it through in one read, I am impressed!


Wishing us all, power to be the parent we all wish to be, on all counts!


Faithfully,
MAE
 

​MAIN STREAM V STEINER​


​My little tree

​Imagine your baby like this little seed, when you plant it into this world, if allowed it will grow. You have lots of choices to make in this process, choices all which will ultimately effect the growth of this little plant. At the end of the day, the result will still be "a beautiful tree". For the sake of argument lets say this seed will produce an orange tree, so the result, despite the choices, will always be ending in the growth of an orange tree; you will always only ever get oranges from this tree.


In this discussion I am only going to be comparing two scenarios, the one our “normal” choice of public main stream Ofsted education, the second the choice of Steiner education. The reason for my choices are because, I want to demonstrate what I believe is a visual way of explaining the growth and development that one undergoes in Steiner education, the reason for comparing to main stream is because that is the education “standard” that most of our generation, in this country (UK), understand and compare all other “forms” of education to.



Stage 1 “the pre-schooler” 0-7:


Main stream education is your standard “factory” style farming where you have a very big space of land but you also have hundreds upon hundreds of tree in this space resulting in each tree only getting a standard quota of space. This is how the general environment is for the individual child; they are in a classroom full to the brim and they get very little, yet equal attention from the teacher. The teaching style is geared towards spending a lot, if not most, of the time sitting down confined to one’s desk, which is like putting the young shoot into a plant pot or boxing in the space it has to grow its roots in. this results in very little, neat and precise growth of the roots. While this growth underneath needs to take place, it is not allowed the full time it needs to focus on this growth, instead it gets loaded on with fertilisers which encourage and focus the growth above the ground where it can be “seen” and measured with a ruler. This, therefore, results in not only confined growth of the roots, but also rushed growth of it. The energy that should have at this stage, only, mainly, be spent on the roots, now has to be shared with the growth above the ground as well; resulting in short weak roots. Although the farmer may argue that the root is enough to suffice its “job”, which in his mind is to collect nutrients and water, it is not enough to anchor the plant solidly to the ground if a big storm were to come it’s way.


Steiner education on the other hand is like your neighbourhood farmer who has enough land to have a little orchard. He plants only the amount of tree he knows the land can allow in a natural healthy way. He says the little shoot is very young and needs to concentrate on growing it roots. Let’s give it all the space it needs to grow, give it plenty of sun and water, maybe lets add a stick on the top to give it support on top while its growing underneath; he knows not worry that the plant does not seem to be “growing” much on top, he knows it is taking its time to grow in the right place that it needs to focus on right now. These roots take all the time they need to grow, they spread out as far and wide and deep as they need to anchoring the tree down solidly into the ground ready to face the weathers that have to come. Once it has rooted itself then the growth on top commences at a greater rate.


This time directly relates to the growth of the child between 0-7, where the child needs a lot of space to grow and should not be confined to a table and chair for most of the day. They are growing on the inside, their organs are coming into their full selves, they need to be allowed the time, space and energy to grow. If they are rushed into intellectual growth at this stage whilst their bodies need this time and energy, this will result in not enough energy for the healthy growth of the organs. Once this window is missed, it can not be revisited, this shop literally will be closed for further business later on in life, hence why it is so important to fully make use of this window, to allow this growth to happen to it’s proper capacity.



Stage 2 “lower and middle school” (7-14):


Your neighbourhood farmer takes his time looking at each of his trees and pruning back just what the individual tree needs; watering while singing to it, supporting it where it may need, looking after the soil by feeding the soil what it naturally needs. He allows the tree to grow out its branches in its beautiful natural way allowing it to embraces its twists and turns and weaving branches; stretching out sides ways just as much as it is stretching out up wards. He knows not to worry too much about it growing too tall too quickly, that it will come to its perfect height all in good time. Now is not the time to focus on its height, but rather let it grow into its natural form, one which gives shade to those who need it, one which allows the wild life to flourish within it. He understands the needs of the tree, understands the importance of every element that helps develop the tree to be healthy; for the fruit of a healthy tree imparts more than just nutrition, it imparts health. Health that goes far beyond the “five a day keeps the doctor away health”, health that keeps ones entire being truly healthy.


This equates to the Steiner ethos of age appropriate learning, teaching with singing and games, allowing them to have space for movement, bringing to them what they individually need and not what is a pre-prescribed standard measured dose of “educating”. The fluidity and flexibility of Steiner education is what sets apart the two different approaches to teaching. The trust one has to instil in the teacher’s better judgement of what and when comes from understanding that each child, each class is very different, no two classes can be the same and therefore need to be treated in accordance. The education needs to meet the child and class at a space where they and their: thinking; imagination; contemplation; analyses; and understanding, can be stretched, but not strained. It needs to be brought to them in and at a time when they can connect with the intellectual information presented to them on a deeper emotional, social and mental level. This connection helps them absorb the information in a way that resonates with them and their being; therefore, it stays with them on multiple levels as it satisfies not only the intellect, but rather also what was needed on a more human and personal  soul level.


To take a look at the power of working with things, allowing them to be able to resonate amidst you: imagine the fears the 9 year old child goes through and bottles up inside them, (yes that is a real thing the nine year old change!). The child has things bottled up inside them, if you could put a tuning fork to this bottle that resonated with the glass, causing it to shatter, allowing the child to free themselves of the fears that were held in, how glorious would that feel! That is how the Steiner curriculum in designed to resonate; the right things at the right time allowing maximum benefits to be cultivated. (But of course one needs to be patient and let it happen over time, it is not something which can happen over night, as it is not a physical bottle, but more a metaphorical and emotional one and therefore takes an emotional tune fork to remedy and its due course to “shatter”).


The “factory” farmer on the other hand is too focused on the upwardly growth of the trees, he wants them all to be tall, uniform, straight trees, does not allow room for the individual trees to grow and develop in their individual natural forms, He is more focused on getting the trees to fruition as quickly as possible loading them up with fertilisers and killing off wildlife with pesticides. Every year he prunes back exact measured chunks uniformly from each tree so that he may have an immaculate looking, picture perfect well manicured farm, which once ready will produce fruit that is likewise.


In the above mentioned metaphoric depiction: the pesticides refer to entities like media, which does in fact work like a slow poison upon the child; the fertilisers can be equated to knowledge that is unduly, unnaturally, artificially dumped upon the children in mainstream education without consideration of when and how it was needed; and the pre-prescribed measured cutting can be seen in a manner of speaking as exams. The focus is only on providing measured doses of the nutrients on timely intervals with the thought that if the nutrient is in the soil it will be taken up by the tree and therefore transferred into the fruit once it is fruiting, i.e. information that is required to pass the board exams etc., unnaturally, untimely given to them with the presumption that: if they are provided with all the information and “skills”, then it will be present for them to regurgitate in exams etc. thus allowing them to "succeed" in them. (This type of "success" means nothing really in the grand scheme of things, all you are doing is: measuring how good was the quality of the sponge at soaking up and the ringing out the water repeatedly over the years; is that really all that education should be?)

This knowledge, although now undoubtedly at their "disposal", was not imparted to them with individual thought and consideration. This results in a lot of information which most children do not connect with and therefore sometimes fail to understand what to do with. This means they need to work harder (then they would have needed to, had they have been given a chance to connect with it) to: remember it; comprehend it; and apply it. It does not make one less or more “smarter” either route, however, one gives you the avenue of a ride that “fits” you as an individual better: allowing it to not only give you comfort and nurture while "using it"; but also facilitating to bring out all the best shades and tones of your whole being in its full glory more naturally and with ease.


On that note: the result, one may argue, will be the same at the end of the growth cycle. Once the trees have matured into fully grown adult fruition trees, they will both be fruiting oranges. Yes, they may be both fruiting oranges, but there will still be a difference between the fruit. If one is looking at just the size and overall colour of the fruit, things which are "quantifiable" then maybe one may not “see” much difference; but if you look beyond the quantifiable, the naturally grown tree’s fruit will be full of much more depth and layers of flavour, something which can only be experienced in its indulgence and not measured. Along with it’s distinct flavour, there will be a notable difference in the smell of the fruit, all things which are equally important in the experience of eating the fruit, therefore the resulting positive outcomes of it. Yes they both will provide you with “vitamin c”; but there is a difference, if you so choose to see it, that goes beyond the quantifiable. The difference comes from and in the growth process; at every stage the actions taken have effects in the long run. If you wish to make your fruits of labour just a mer vessel for providing “nutrition”, then perhaps it does make no difference for you; but if you want something more from it, if you wish for it to impart happiness, satisfaction and the feeling of bliss upon their indulgence; then there is something more there that you may need to consider.

As I have quoted before: energy is neither created nor destroyed, only transferred. When you indulge in a fruit it is not just the nutrition you ear but the energy that it was grown with as well. Cold heartless factory foods impart cold heartless energy, warm caring love filled handmade food impart warmth, care and love. 

The difference, of how the knowledge was brought to a child and what it does to and for the child, can be "seen" as clear as day if you so choose to see it when you sit in the company of these children. These are not: quantifiable; measurable; equatable things, these are things that leave a lasting joyful impression on your soul when you share space with these rich beings.



The intellect is one thing, but the mental, social and emotional well being of a child is not something that should be overlooked, but that maybe something to come back to for deeper reflection at another time…

MUCH LOVE
​

 
It has been a while now, that I have been pondering over penning down my thoughts, but with so much talk over Steiner education suddenly in the air, I thought now is the time to finally pick up that pen. 

I want to firstly begin by mentioning what, I THINK, is the most vital piece of wisdom we often forget:
 
"every piece of writing one finds, (especially on the internet), is but a projection of the writers own opinions".

Please always bare this in mind when reading anything!


For those of you who are pondering over education, I will below attempt to steer you, with getting your head around my thoughts regarding education. Hope it helps!

Let's start with Steiner Education; what is it, who is it for and what it entails, as my overview perspective. At the heart of every Steiner school is the philosophy, anthroposophy, that Rudolf Steiner has introduced to the world of human study. From this outlook, this school of thought towards education has stemmed. 

Steiner education is an education for any and everyone, i.e. all walks of life, it may help someone who may feel a “misfit” in mainstream for whatever reason, just as much as it may help someone who also feels completely at home with mainstream as well. The question is not about whether this is a school for this group of people or that, its about what you want from an education, what you believe “education” and “educated” people to be. “Education” is the act of imparting or acquiring general and/or particular knowledge and skills, powers of reasoning and judgment. Therefore, if you carefully reflect upon this, you will come to the conclusion that education does not need to be imparted or acquired in a certain form or be of a certain content for it to be considered "education", although sadly in our current society this is not to be the case.

In our modern world only the strict guidelines laid out by an "educating body" be it schools, colleges, universities or institutes are considered "education"; where the content imparted and acquired can be precisely quantified. This is all down to our ever growing obsession with "control", we want to have control over everything. Keep it at a space and place were we can easily comprehend it, anything that we do not fully comprehend gets dismissed discredited and in fact, at times, demonised.

For example if we take a look at this whole “child labour” and help “educate” under privileged children in “third world” countries. This whole ideology, in it's current form, rather controversially no doubt, I find wrong on so so many levels. It is very arrogant of us to use the term “third world” it is very naive of us to consider knowledge that has been passed down the generations as anything less than knowledge past on in formally formed schools. Don't get me wrong, I am all for schools and formal education, I think it is a very nobel thing and at the time when it was pioneered it was meant for greatness and it has achieved it no doubt too, but somewhere along the way in recent years it seems to have been a bit neglected, its like that Encyclopedia printed at the turn of the 20th century that got put up on the top shelf of the book case to show off its pride and glory but treated so sacredly that it has never been touched and it has just sat there collecting dust and in need of a major reality check, as according it, women can't vote and the world has never seen any world wars!! Time to recalibrate our equipment I 'd say...

I don't want to undermine the hard work and beautiful knowledge that is spread in schools of all types; my argument is
all types of knowledge should be treated and respected equally!
Regardless of where the origins and teachings of it come from, Knowledge is knowledge it should not be sniffed at!

Without a shadow of a doubt, children who are deprived of any education that they seek, should be helped in receiving it; but by the same token, people with more easy access to formal education, should be more positively exposed to knowledge that is not so abundantly found in formal schooling and allowed to gain access to it in a more honouring manner.

For example just as there may be a child born into a coffee farming family who is meant to be a budding heart surgeon, there may be a child born in to a family full of accountants who has a real knack of sewing. They should be equally encouraged and applauded.

This is my plea to everyone:
Please help save highly specialised skills that have been perfected over countless generations from fading away out of our hands reach. Generations to come will be left with empty black holes in arts, traditions, cultures, practices and skills, if we don't make an effort to appreciate and preserve them while these last candles of wisdom still burn. It will be eons before we as a race can again through trial and error, recover knowledge that we once had but let slip through our fingers due to our ignorance, arrogance and naivety.

Which ever walk of life you may hail from, which ever education structure you support, this one thing we as humans can and should unite in- endeavour to save from extinction, heritage; once it is gone, it really is gone and can not be brought back with a quick fix, stop it while we still can from becoming extinct!

Coming back to the point at hand, Steiner education brings to the world a way of imparting knowledge in a way which is more in tune with what the child's natural growth cycle is on the physical, mental, emotional and social front. This approach therefore accomplishes the process of knowledge transferring in a more effective way, as you are working positively with the child's natural growth, leaving a greater impact and more rooted relationship with the knowledge.

The focus is on positively bringing knowledge to the child at the appropriate time, in the most effective and efficient way and not on seeing how well they can do in end of year exams. The theory behind no testing is not that they can not cope with it, but rather that the teacher who is teaching them day in day out in small groups, should already know exactly where the child is at, what their strengths and weakness are, what there temperaments are, where one needs to give more effort, or requires extra practice.

This removal of unnecessary pressure and stress of exams at early ages also helps to build a more healthy and grounded relationship with knowledge, as you are not cramming in knowledge at the last minute to pass exams, you are learning for the pure joy of learning, for the inner human desire of learning. This builds a relationship with knowledge that will hopefully be one with the right foundations and hence stand the test of time.

In recent times I have noticed, more and more focus is on exam readiness in mainstream education; the teachers are just focused on getting through the curriculum in time for exams and then just practice exam techniques, practice ticking all those boxes that will get the child through exams. Exams that are generic and built for singling out a certain type of personality/intellectual group (the cookie cutter syndrome as I like to call it) who then further get refined in university and furthermore at work.

The system does not appreciate nor let appreciate diversity, uniqueness, individual greatness and genius. We as a race have thrived and survived because of our diversity and versatility. In the past centuries, although we have achieved unparalleled heights in all fields due to knowledge collection and harvesting in formally formed knowledge institutes, sadly in the past decades the standardisation of the formal education sector has really started to hurt our diversity. It is churning out one tone specimens of the human race and this will come back to bite us in a very unpleasant way, in the very near future I fear.

Steiner Education very specifically leave scope for diversity, there is no "fixed" set of strict instructions for teachers to teach in certain ways, it is all very fluid, allowing scope for moulding the "classroom" experience in a way that the teacher feels fit for that particular group of children. Scope for the teacher to: bring in; change; or remove topics that are taught, as and when they feel necessary for that particular class. That doesn't mean to say they have no plan! They have a year plan, as well as have a lesson plan, for every lesson they teach, but they have the flexibility and the confidence to also throw that plan out the window and make a new plan as and when they feel is essential. This approach allows the curriculum to be organic and grow and live and breathe with those individuals in the class in which it is being used for. 

Naturally this approach as I am sure you may appreciate is not for the faint hearted. One needs to have a lot of faith in the philosophy, in the school, in the staff and most importantly in your child; let them come to everything is their own time and space, they might not be were you think you want them to be right now, but they surely will be far beyond your fathoming soon enough.

For one who suffers from "FOMO" and needs their entire life plan written out in stone; knowing that week 3 in term 2 in class 5, means the exact same thing for every class 5'er all over the country, this approach may shake them to a point beyond there comfort level. It really is no wonder that so many people see Steiner education in a negative light, not everyone has the confidence and strength to go against the tide, and truthfully not everyone should either. We really do need all types of people in the world to survive. 

I am not here to sell Steiner education to you as something that is perfect, or that it is the better or right way to go, no, that is not at all my intention. It is just like everything else out there, good for some and not good for some, perfect for others whilst very much so wrong for others. My point of writing today is to give a glimpse of my overview of how I understand Steiner education.

Steiner Education has recently been getting a lot of raised eyebrows in the UK, yes maybe there may have been issues of concern amongst a few and I applaud the schools who are looking at fixing their short comings- no system is perfect. However, more importantly, I think one needs to carefully review who was being looked at, who is saying what and what is their outlook, what is their agenda and maybe most importantly do they really truly understand what it is that they are looking at? Is their measuring stick really set in the right units, does it even need a measuring stick to begin with, I wonder? Does everything really need to be quantified? Maybe we as a society, are getting far too involved in micro-managing things, to the point were things are no longer healthy? Yes by all means when things come to child safe guarding we must be going through things with a fine toothed comb, but when it comes to managing to keep up with documenting every moment in every child's day to justify "progress", if that is were these so called "major flaws" are residing, maybe then we need to rethink the paperwork just maybe?? FOOD FOR THOUGHT!

The question somehow is no longer, "is this right for me or not", the question now has suddenly changed to, "is this school right for anyone?"?? This is were I think we all must draw the line and not be by-sitters anymore, this is not a question which any one person has the right to ask and answer, it is very naive and arrogant to think that any one person or persons can answer it and seal the deal for the nation, especially when the decision makers have no real understanding of the ethos behind the education nor any genuine interest in anything that is not their standard of norm. It is stripping away the rights of all those people who choose to try something different with their children, the rights of all those people who believe in this philosophy, the rights of all those people who believe in diversity to be a good thing, whether they themselves take that different road or not is irrelevant. 

Families who take there children to Steiner schools do not impose there beliefs on anyone else, they do not enforce that this is the route all should take, so why are we being put into a corner and bullied into forgoing our choice? I thought we are living in a modern democratic country which gives people the freedom of choice? Live and let live, I thought was the motto, so why is it that every time people feel threatened by something they do not understand the reaction is always to smother down that flame; yes a flame can burn the forest down, but a flame can also launch a rocket to the moon, give it a chance, guidance and direction and it will take you to the moon, if that is where you want to go!



On that note, MAE OUT!

Hi Friends,

As always, with kids especially, when things go too quiet one starts to wonder, what's cooking?


Well things have definitely been a-cooking here! I have embarked on a new leg of my journey of self discovery and self development.

I found myself exploring an old dream at the start of the year, (completely unconnected to the 2020 kurfufall, btw, I have to add! ) This exploring found me discovering and re-connecting me to my true calling. 

You may have already somewhat fathomed my love of food by now I'm sure; but I'm sure by the same token you also know it's not just a love of food, but it's a love of real nurturing food. Food that heals all: body, mind and soul. 

Well you may have noticed also that that is my theme running through my whole being and my blog too: health of body, mind and soul. Therefore on that note it most probably won't come to you as a surprise that I have always had a keen interest in Homeopathy, a medicinal art that looks at the whole being, and treats the whole being, body mind and soul.

At the start of this year I embarked on my journey of self development in the art of both Homeopathy and nutritional health, with a side serving of life coaching of course; might as well get a cert. that says I can do it too while I am at it right! After all these years, back to College! Yikes!

Well with a heavy investment on books galore I set my ship a-sail some many months ago and now in College I steadily chart my course for a destination just out of sight beyond the horizon, but I place my faith in Allah All Mighty that he may help me reach my goal! Insha Allah Ameen Suma Ameen

 
As I go "under-construction" I am sure you may have guessed I will have a little less time to spare to pop a post here and there, but rest assured I will not be abandoning my space here, I will pop little notes here and there as I go, both on my journey of development and for tips for your journey of development!

We are ALWAYS, learning, growing and living!


Here is to forever evolving life!

Much love

MAE!
X
​

​Here's a thought, a radical idea maybe for some! 


Thunderstorms, floods, hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes and volcanos all are notoriously know for the destruction they leave and the lives they claim, but how many of these do we ever try to harness or control or "re-direct". How many people who live in these high threat areas do we think to rehouse, out of concern and safety of these imminent threats? Hmm let me think. NONE!! I REPEAT NONE!


Why?? 


Why do we spend fortunes on building "earthquakes proof" and "flood proof" housing in these area instead of simply un-inhabiting them? Would it not be more wise and cheaper to just live somewhere else?? Yet we don't do that? No, we stand and we face these natural phenomenons head on?! 


So why, may I ask, are we so fixated with controlling this current "natural phenomenon"? Infectious disease, is it not a "natural phenomenon"? Then why, I ask, are we so fixated with "controlling" it, "manipulating" it "re-directing" it, why are we causing more problems than solutions? 


Why, may I ask, are we not letting life and people be? Why are we suffocating both the lives and livelihood of humanity? 


Is it not MUCH BETTER to empower the people with knowledge of how to keep themselves "safe", how to keep themselves healthy, so that even if they do get a hit they can stand up and shake it off with relative ease?

Why are we not empowering people with self empowerment?

Is that not only much more efficient and effective in the long run, but also a better, more wiser course of action, than to try and dictate actions of the masses for unknown lengths of periods at a time for unknown amounts of times?

Actions that not only are crippling the economy, robbing the masses of their livelihood, proving to be detrimental to the future of the youth and their mental/emotional health, but also detrimental to our elderly and vulnerable, the very people whom we are thinking we are protecting through these very dictated actions? In actual reality what we are doing to our elderly and vulnerable is signing away their life to a fate worse than death of seemingly endless isolation and alienation from the living breathing life of society! 




How? How, I ask, is this helping anybody!!! How!!

People who are meant to die, WILL DIE!!! you or me doing anything is not going to prevent every life that this or any other illness or natural phenomenon is destined to claim! Now you may not believe in predestined or fate or any of such things and I am not asking you to, but as a human you must at least understand that their is NO CHEATING DEATH! You may think that you have "out lived" your life expectancy, or cheated death if you have a narrow escape, but sooner or later it will catch you, it always does! 


Now I appreciate all that said, no one wants to see their loved ones go, especially if they go in natural disasters or unnatural incidences or "pandemics", we feel as if they have been cheated on by life. And I fully understand and resonate with that sentiment, I do! That is exactly why I say, educate, educate, educate! empower, empower, empower!


You do have what it takes to take back the reins of your health and life in your hands! Take it out of the hands of others, you don't need multitudes of tests and drugs. What you need is to understand what YOUR BODY needs, how much sleep, how much exercise, how much fat, protein, carbs, vitamins, minerals, fun, inspiration, intellectual and creativity activity, its all unique to and for you. You are not a car battery out of a box identical to every other car battery out there ever made under a certain "type cast", requiring the same amount of acid and alkaline balance, needing to be wired up in the exact same way, needing to be looked after in the exact same way. NO!

You are an individual, a living and breathing individual, who needs to look within to see what you yourself need. No one lives your life, walks your walk, deals with the people and environment that you do or have to in the way in which you do.

NO ONE!

So how can what you need in your life, to make your life better, healthier and happier be the same as what anyone else needs! It just can't! It does not work that way and SHOULD NOT work that way! 


Mainstream medicine is now understanding this and trying to work at understanding and implementing it, but it's a long long way from being "freely" available. 


Why not instead of spending billions upon bring the country to a crashing halt and then billions to kick start it again, only to keep doing it again and again, we actually spend the money where it can benefit not only the medical units across the world, but also the people that they serve? 


Why not pour money into spreading this knowledge, deepening this knowledge and implementing this knowledge? 

Maybe if we do so, you may actually find that some people who were "vulnerable" actually liberate themselves from said vulnerabilities and survive a hit that they otherwise would not have? Maybe by improving peoples health and healthcare instead of just delaying a deadly inevitable exposure to the a virus, we empower and equip them to face it head on, fight it and defeat it? 

I don't want avoidable deaths to happen just as much as the next person, but what I am saying is that I don't think the way we are going about it is necessarily the most efficient and effective way of achieving said goal.

The way forward is not "locking in", but locking out and unleashing the power of true health and healthcare! 


Learn and understand your body, for when the "war" begins, it's not what you have on the outside that matters, but what you have on the inside that sees you through to win the fight!


Build your body, mind and self, not fear!


To true health, happiness, knowledge and empowerment!


For it is not ignorance that prevails, but empowerment that perseveres!




To knowledge, because for knowledge there really is no substitute!
❤️

This one has taken me some time and reflection to pen down over a couple of weeks, its a long one, but hopefully someone somewhere may find a little bit of support, comfort and help in it...


Across all my social groups I hear but one call, “overwhelm”. Why is this so? Does this not trouble you? The fact that so many people feel overwhelmed over our current state of reality really is disturbing on so many levels! Some people are overwhelmed by the amount of work that they have to do because a) their house help is no longer there and b) their family is at home so there is too much to do. Now I don’t mean to belittle anyone by saying chill you should be able to do all that, because no, it is not right for anyone to say that, no one knows the other’s situation, commitments, restrictions or abilities. But what I will say is the solution is actually simpler than you think!


This current life we are living is not normal! We are not going to be in this state forever, nothing is ever forever, that I can guaranty you! No one is coming into your home, no one is there to judge you, if you can’t manage to do everything you think you should do in one day then relax, there is always tomorrow! What you couldn’t get done today, can get done tomorrow, if it doesn’t get done tomorrow, then there is always another tomorrow! We put too much pressure on ourselves to live up to our own unachievably high standards! I am not saying lower your standards, its good to want to strive to becoming your ideal, but let’s ease off the pressure shall we! These are not normal times, so let’s leave those standards for normal times shall we. For now live how you can, make do with what you can do and for heaven sake get this message firmly across to your family, (for those that this concerns) you are not on holiday, you are not in the midst of a celebration, you are in the middle of a crisis!!! Food is on ration world wide! So stop acting like you are in a 5 star hotel and demanding for fancy dishes 5 times a day!! Come on you people wake up and look around you! There are families who have lost all income and have not enough food to get by, so let's stop pretending this is a very long public holiday because for a lot of people it definitely is not! (breathe breathe breathe, sorry I had to get that out of my system first!)


Now I do not mean to say by the above that we should be all worried and it’s doom and gloom, but I keep reading wives being demand upon to cook 5 times a day fancy dishes! That is outrageous if you ask me! Now is not the time to be living like a king, but a time to be living smart. Spend less time and ration on cooking; cook healthy, cook smart, cook fast and maximise your produce to its full capacity!


Suddenly parents have to do a lot more than their daily “normal” lives like being their children’s teacher, nanny, best buddy, fitness instructor, IT whiz, and heaven knows what else more! So at a time like this having to spend more time cooking than your normal daily routine is really not helping! Unless you are teaching your children to cook and using that as the day’s lesson plan you should really be spending the least amount of your time actually in the kitchen cooking. So let’s get this straight with our families shall we; don’t be a tart, cook smart!


Now that is just one pebble on the beach, there are far more pebbles to be touched upon.


Some people are being overwhelmed by their children and how to cope with doing right by them. Firstly, what is doing right by them? What you may think is doing right by them, might not be what it actually entails! Remember what I said above, these are not normal times so we need to let go of our “normal standards”. What do children need: food, warmth, cosy home, a whole lot of love and time! Once you have food ticked off, warmth and cosy home for most are thankfully already set. That leaves the two most vital ingredients for children, love and time! Yes children need to be educated, and they will be, trust in yourself, trust in them and trust in the act of education!


Education doesn’t come through books, books are limited to imparting precise and one dimensional knowledge, education is not dependant on books, it is dependant on the mind developing through all senses, processing all that it absorbs and deducing conclusions from it. That is learning! Once they learn, then they act on what they have learnt, then they learn some more from those actions and reactions. Retaining all of that learning and using it to aid one in life is what is called education! Education has no limits, subjects, restrictions, qualifications or quantifications, it just is!


You being present with your child not only teaches them that they are seen, heard, cared for, loved and safe; it teaches them how to live life, how to act when there is trouble brewing in the air, how to look after loved ones, how to manage the daily grind… how to be human.


For young ones your presence is all they need to learn so much! For older ones who you struggle to keep occupied with yet another game of monopoly, give them things to learn either with you through life skills or with you through researching a hobby, old or new, then either mastering it or compiling a presentation on it or otherwise. Or if they are into their late teens, allow them to manage daily life and it’s strings, which not only gives them a chance to experience it, but gives you a much needed helping hand in living through it. Or again motivate them to learn about something new that they may have always shown an interest in, remember it doesn’t have to be “intellectual”, it doesn’t have to be a part of the national curriculum. Learning is all around us, there is no limit to what, how and when you can learn something; embrace the act of learning! Don’t stress about what they might be “missing out” on, don’t stress over what they should be learning, take advantage of this unique opportunity life has just given them to learn something new, something completely different and unique to them and you.


Always remember we are not in a race against anyone, each individual brings to the table what they are, which is what “wins” them each opportunity in life. Don’t loose this opportunity to strengthen the beautiful uniqueness of your children, for that is who they are, that is what will carry them forward in life, that is what they need. League tables mean nothing in an interview in their dream field, passion is what shines through and sees them through!


Another thing I hear through the grape vine, lack of peace causing overwhelm. Some people are not worried about their children’s education or being demanded upon for too many meals, but they are struggling to find peace. Whether it is inner peace or outer home atmospheric peace. Either too many arguments are taking place or there is inner frustrations of being “cooped up”, or feelings of grief or loneliness due or restrictions on family contact. Or of course the big fear factor that is eating people up from the inside. Fear of not having access to essentials or fear of loosing family or fear of one’s own health. All of these leading to again feelings of overwhelm.


Now if you ask me this lack of peace is actually a more deeper rooted and greater problem than any of the others, regardless of what the reasons for it be. This actually exists in our normal daily lives and is either now just surfacing or compounding and sadly although the other two mentioned issues may well disappear post lockdown, this problem is one that will live on if not dealt with. But the good news is, as mentioned, this issue is irrelevant of lockdown, therefore it can be tackled irrespective of lockdown. This is not a matter of the mind, this is a matter of the heart! It can be insha’Allah tackled through healing of the hearts.


As always my first and foremost advice is hugging and holding. Children get easily overwhelmed and frustrated as do parents with their tantrums and demands as well as life’s demands. Hug each other and hold each other as much as you can, if your children are arguing just hold them, hear them don’t talk to them, just keep them in your arms until they recover. Honestly I kid you not, it works like magic, it will not only clear their overwhelming feeling, but also any that you may have been having. When you argue with your partner despite who started it, or who was right or wrong, stop shouting at each other and sit either in each others arms or next to each other holding hands and then talk it out, skin to skin contact can not only save the lives of babies, but it can save the life in your relationship. The best cure for arguments and overwhelm is holding and hugging, it diffuses the fire inside! Trust me! You might be thinking phish phosh, but it is not, chemicals are released and reactions taken place inside your bodies that is what calms you down, its not a load of nonsense its biology!


Now coming to feeling “cooped up” or grief or loneliness, I have touched upon this before briefly on my lifeline page on FB, but I will contemplate it further here.


If you are living with a family, as in are not entirely alone in a house and still then you are feeling cooped up or lonely then this should be an indication to you that there is something monumentally wrong here! A home is where one should always look forward to being, a family whom we live with should be all that we need to survive, it should be with whom we feel the happiest and safest with. If one is not feeling these things then its time to do a lot of deep reflection and soul searching! It doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you or your family as per say, but what it means is that you are not feeling at home with them or in your home. Now this could be for a variety of reasons either you are longing something for yourself that which you do not yet have, like for example a job, a career, a direction, or you are longing a connection with your family that you do not have. The latter is actually a simple matter but a complex one to fix. The way to go about it is firstly self reflection, think about firstly with whom it is lacking and then what is lacking, what type of connection is it that you long for that makes you feel lonely even in your own home with your own family. Then the next step after you have diagnosed the problem is the bigger braver step of addressing it. Raise awareness to the individual(s) of firstly this issue then the root cause of it and how you think it can be tackled. This last bit is the most tricky one, because it no longer involves just you, it involves others. Now firstly the difficult part is getting them to appreciate that this problem is present in your connection and it is costing you, then once you get that sorted the actual bridging of this gap is going to take long hard persistent efforts on both(or all) persons’ counts. But it is not impossible!! If you keep working at it insha’Allah one day it will be accomplished. But bare in mind as it is something you need you maybe the one who may need to work extra hard for it, be extra persistent with it and maybe have to put in most of the effort for it, but to reap the rewards we must first put in the back breaking work.


Now the other side of this, sometimes we live with persons that no matter how hard we try with, a gap can not be bridged. They make you feel lonely and unwelcome, in this case if they are not your spouse or children, then maybe it is something that needs to be brought up and addressed, but if it is your spouse or your children, then things need more serious thought and intervention. Families come in all forms, shapes and sizes, only we ourselves can know the true nature of our situations and we must reflect deeply, but sensibly and with clarity not emotionally and seek a truly plausible solutions for ourselves.


Even if you feel that there is nothing “wrong” with your relationships with anyone, nor is your personal purpose bothering you and you think neither of those are the reason for you feeling cooped up, does not mean that they may well not be the issue, maybe it is just you not being able to pin point it just yet.


Emotions are complex, sometimes they show their source other times it may need a lot of time and uncovering to reach the actual source because it is covered up in so many layers. Imagine an onion, you have to peel back layer after layer to reach the core. Sometimes this can be achieved on one’s own, other times it may need professional intervention. Psychologists are great but sometimes we need a little bit more than just conversational un-peeling sometimes the helping hand of simple homeopathic remedies are needed to help us uncover deep hidden emotional upsets. Whatever the case there are avenues to explore this and reach peace insha’Allah. The first and most important step is to actually recognise that there is an issue to start of with.


I think I best leave it at here for the moment and let one sit with these thoughts, for the biggest leg of learning is done in the space of silence.


I wish you inner and outer peace.
May we all find our stride and learn to dance in this rain!


Much love
MAE

I thought to refrain in indulging in this conversation, but then I think maybe I should break the silence. Tis not the elephant in the room the problem, but rather the other occupants in it that alarm me. I don’t know where you stand, but I do know that I don’t know where I stand anymore, as for once I feel lost to figure out where common sense stands.


My aim has always been to avoid either extreme, to take an informed balance approach, now I have that semi down re the elephant, but its all the strings attached to it so to speak that I struggle with. This whole school closure thing has my mind and heart all up in a twist. For once I feel uncertain about what is the sensible approach.


Whether you believe this virus to be the threat they say or not, one thing is clear the government’s efforts are to contain it, and the only way inevitably will be to shut schools, no matter how much they appear to deny it now. Now whether it is the right thing to do or not, is not the issue for me here anymore. My issue is, if that is the case, that this will have to be the action and its just a matter of time, then why are we delaying it? (Apart from the obvious that its going to cost the government a packet and then some!) But on a personal level, the longer the schools are open, the more widespread it becomes, therefore the more chances of every school being infected increases day by day, its simple maths really! If you are going to take this action, is it not better you take it before you are infected, so to actually reap benefit from it? Even if one person is infected in the school, by the time it is confirmed it is to late and the damage done! Whether you believe it to be a threat or not, but common sense dictates if you are going to take an action for a certain result, should you not take it when you have a shot at attaining said result? You know that whole, strike when the iron is hot thing, ring a bell???


So here I stand torn between two pieces of my own common sense, I fail to see clearly what is sensible anymore? I mean it should be really very obvious shouldn’t it! I know the elephant, I can see the strings and yet I stand bewildered thinking am I the crazy in the room??


I don’t want to pull my children out of school and yet I can’t see the benefits of delaying the inevitable; when in doing so you only negate the result for which the action is to be taken for in the first place!

You can’t catch a plane after its has departed!


So alas I sit here as a person trying to live with common sense and as a mother who would like to make sensible and right choices for her children to the best of my mental, emotional and physical ability.


I think when one puts it in this way, there really is no choice, no dilemma, no confusion or doubt of the sensible!


In the war between a woman and a mother,
A mother is always right!


Here is to us all, to finding peace within ourselves, because at the end of the day when all is said and done and there is nothing but the quiet of the night, there is only one voice to be heard and to answer to, the little voice of reason within you!


To Self Peace!


Stay safe and happy!

​MAE