HOMEOPATHY… Yes the “dreaded” topic of Homeopathy - if it’s all “pseudoscience” and “placebo effects” that people are just getting duped by, or is there actually some "science" here.
 
Well, it’s the elephant in the room; however, it’s not something which, especially in this day and age, should be "dreaded". It really can be understood today like all other “sciences”.
 
The reason why homeopathy always fails at “science” and is unable to “prove” itself is because we are using the WRONG MEASURING STICK!
 
Yes, that is right! It cannot and does not pass any “medical” parameters because it’s not “medical science”. “Medical science” is not the full and complete world of science, “medical science” is just BIO-CHEMISTRY! And Homeopathy is not! Homeopathy is PHYSICS!
 
In his book, The Science of homeopathy, George Vithoulkas, describes experiments that have been conduct that demonstrate that even living things have an energy signature, thus a resonate (natural/optimal) frequency. Now as you may or may not remember from your physics days; when a substance like glass vibrates at its resonate frequency for long enough, due to a musical note for instance, it shatters. This however is not the case with all musical notes brought to it, only the one that matches the glass’s own frequency. Which means that when a wave pattern that matches the substance’s natural frequency meets the substance it cause a bigger reaction in said substance than other frequencies do that do not match; in this case it causes the cells in the substance to move in sync with the sound waves and when they do that for long enough, the inert nature of the solid glass causes the structure to give way and the glass shatters.
 
Now homeopathy works in a similar way. It uses the natural frequencies of things (plants, minerals, animals etc.) and uses this in a way which can optimise conditions for “healing” to take place in a person.
 
So here is where all the problems from the "medical" world come in. The medical world, runs in the realms of biology and chemistry. It uses its knowledge and understanding of human biology and chemistry and tries to apply it to homeopathy, and of course homeopathy cannot come to par with it. They talk about Avogadro’s number, they talk about placebo effect etc. but the problem is not with homeopathy, but how they are thinking about it. Yes in homeopathy the substance is diluted down to beyond any "traceable" particles left in it. But we are not after the particles to begin with; we are not relying on them to induce any effect on the body - that is chemistry where a chemical causes a chemical reaction in a being. We are after the energy signature of the substance to work on the energy signature of the human being we are looking to “treat”; so it matters not to us how much chemical is left in the dilution. We are working upon a very different aspect of the human being entirely. So of course your “medical” test will render homeopathy as placebo, because you are looking at it and trying to decipher it with the wrong tool!
 


I have also heard the argument of, 'we rely on the memory of water to pass on the essence of the substance' be debunked as – if that was the case then everything that ever went into the water would affect us. Well again there are two things here:

Firstly everything emits their energy signature out, but they do it in a very very tiny way, so where it would affect the water around it, the effects of it would be so minute and last for such a short period that it would not even "register".

Secondly, despite it not being a very big output, who is to say that it has absolutely no impact upon us? Like I said it is so minute that to track it would be near impossible, but that does not mean that it may not have any sort of impact upon us. Just take a look at our Marine health, has not the dumping of unnaturally materials caused a devastating impact on our Marine life? Who is to say that all of it is only due to the chemicals it releases and the biological hazard that it causes? One cannot discount that the unnatural materials that are being dumped may also be causing harm from its frequency. Just because it has not been proven yet, does not mean that it can be discounted.
 
Coming back to homeopathy.

Homeopathy uses the natural frequency of the substance and applies the natural law of physics to it – energy can neither be created nor destroyed only transferred. So what a lot of people over look when they talk about the dilutions in homeopathy is the fact that it is not just simply diluted, the substance is also succussed, which is a process where the vile is held in the hand and banged on a hard surface. This agitates the contents. Now as we know from the law of physics stated above, energy can only get transferred, so this energy that we apply to the substance has to go somewhere right? Yes some of it is transferred into kinetic energy, some sound, some heat but some will get stored up for later as potential energy. This energy gets locked away in the energy signatures that is transferred into the water particles.

What would that look like?
 
Energy signature/natural frequency are all wave patterns. Frequency determines the “identity” of the wave, as in terms of music, the note b has a different frequency pattern to the note a, or the light wave which is visible to us as blue light has a different frequency pattern to the light which is visible to us as red, so on and so forth. Now as we see with music, when we give a sound wave more energy, the sound we hear does not change in character, instead gets louder i.e. its amplitude changes; thus by giving it more energy you cannot go from one note to another, you can only make that note louder. Like when we play a flute or recorder for example, blowing more air into the instrument only makes the note louder, to change to a different note we have to change what holes we are “blocking”. So just like this, when an energy signature that is impressioned into the water memory gets given energy through succussions, it increases the energy signature’s strength. This happens every time it is diluted.

If you imagine: you have a very very tiny wave pattern that was emitted from gold, that has been "saved" in the memory of water after tincturing and diluting; now every time it gets succussed, the energy signature does not change, however the energy that is given to it each time, gives it more of a “voice”; so by the time it gets to 30c, it is now “audible” as a tiny beep sound, by the time it gets to 200c it is like a person talking from across the room to us for an hour, by the time it is 10M it is like a person shouting in our faces for 5 days. So as the energy signatures strength increases, how well and how long we hear it for also increases.

SIDE NOTE
However interestingly though, by the time it is in the realms of 50M and CM it is again "inaudible" to us, like a dog whistle; but not because the frequency has changed, as in the case of the dog whistle, but because it is so "loud" that it is un-computable to our “ear”, which is why the effects of 50M and CM are different, but that is a discussion for another time.
 
So you see, Homeopathy and Medical Science are actually not alternatives of each other, they are not even on the same page. They are not "enemies", it’s not one or the other. They are two different things working on very different parts of the human being. Just like a surgeon and a medical doctor are not the same thing, don’t work on the same thing, homeopaths also do not work on the same thing. A surgeon (for the most part) deals with the physical, a medical doctor ( for the most part) the chemical, and a homeopath the energetic.

( DISCLAIMER: I know both the jobs of the medical doctors and the surgeons do over lap and they do have aspects of the others’ skills at their disposal too, this is just a generalised picture to help understand the difference; don’t get held up with nuances, I am not trying to belittle anyone’s job, just simplifying for explanations).

They are all still trying to help the client, but in their own way, in their own department, using their own “tools”. We have to stop looking at the differences and start seeing the common goal here. We are not enemies of one another, we just do and deal with different things.
 
Like an engineer, an architect and a Feng Shui master feel no threat from one another and understand the different roles each play, so too can a surgeon, a medical doctor and homeopath understand, respect and work alongside each other. A homeopath is not much different, in a manner of speaking, to a Feng Shui master – one looks at the energy flow around a person’s environment and the other the energy flow inside of a person.
 
And the big world of Pharma, well that is a whole other story that we may or may not get into sometime…
;)

​Education that takes one away from religion is not in your interest. It actually makes you less smarter not more.
 
This type of education teaches you two and two makes four. And you start believing it. That two and two makes four. Yes you are quite right it does, but what they don't tell you is: 1 & 3 and 0 & 4 also makes 4, as does 5179 take away 5175 also make four!
 
We get too fixated with one concept, one idea, one line of thinking, that we forget all the rest which is just as, if not more important.
 
Allah has created man and woman as a blessing for each other. To find peace and comfort in one another. Allah has made sex a vehicle for this, just like he has made food and shelter also. Just as science would also tell you, Allah has made sex a vehicle for reproduction. But when we focus too much on the vehicle we lose the real plot. A child is not born because you had sex, a child is born because Allah Willed it. Like rain does not fall because there are rain clouds, rain falls if, when and where Allah Wills it; a person does not die because they are ill, a person dies because Allah Wills it; we eat food at the local restaurant not because we can afford it, but because Allah Willed our grains to be there.
 
We get so caught up in the whole two and two makes four that we forget it is not the coming together of the two and two that makes 4 but Allah Who allows it to be.
 
One can try every trick in the book to both become parents or equally to not become parents; but nothing on either side of the spectrum can, does or will work unless Allah Wills it. If you are meant to have 10 children you will have them by hook or by crook, no matter what precautions you may take including even not having sex! If you are not meant to have any (or more than one child say) than no power, no procedure will allow it to be if Allah doesn't Will it.
 
Understanding this most simple truth can change your life. I have hinted at this concept before as well in my Rizq series, But I thought I should indulge in this a bit further.
 
I know one can say I am being “irresponsible” by preaching that having sex does not result in any “unwanted pregnancies”. But it is only “irresponsible” of me if I did not fully believe in this, which of course I do. The question is what do you believe?
 
Do you believe in Allah’s guidance? Do you believe in Allah’s plan? Do you believe in Allah’s Rizq? Because if you did, no pregnancy would ever be “unwanted”!
 
Allah Always, knows and does best.
 
Now if you are not following Allah’s guidance, instead following your desires down a forbidden path, then yes you can and might tag a pregnancy as “unwanted”. If you don’t believe that this is the best thing for you and that Allah always knows and does best, then you might tag it as an “unwanted pregnancy”; but what really is the issue here, the pregnancy or the weakness in your faith? If you worry that you cannot afford to have a baby right now, again what really is the issue, the baby or your lack of belief in Allah’s promise of provisions – Rizq?
 
So you see, it is not the pregnancy that is at fault, but our lack of Iman!
 
I say this because often we are very much unaware of our own shortfalls, our own weaknesses. These things are not here to point fault at anyone, but rather to remind us – all of us, myself very very much included – that we need to look at what actually is the problem, not what we think is the problem; because often it is our own lack of faith and clarity that fools us into passing blame onto something else, where the “blame” actually is not upon that at all.
 
This is an invitation to start looking at things differently; start seeing the shortfalls in our own Iman; start exploring the real truths of the world, not what “Science” teaches us, but what Allah, His Messenger and His Guidance teaches us.
 
Don’t limit your world to two plus two, there are infinite ways of making 4. Unbox your mind.

Back home there is this unsaid rule, this expected norm, that the daughter-in-law that has wed into the family has to mould herself to the family; so much so that she is expected to forego herself completely and become “one” with the fabric of the “susral” – the new wedded home of the girl.
 
Now as much as one can think, “and?”, as in, what is wrong with that; especially someone who has been brought up in an environment where this is the expected norm, there is some very wrong things with this practice.
 
For starters she is an individual human being, with individual: needs, desires, dreams, visions, strengths, methods – everything. Remember no two people are alike. Not even two twins, they both have their own unique personalities. Secondly, asking someone to become something or someone else not only goes against every cell of their being, it also goes against the necessity of life. Life does not need 50 of one identical person, it needs each and every one of those 50 people to be their own unique and individual selves. No one can or should become a carbon copy of someone else. Otherwise Allah SWT would have created one “perfect” specimen of the human race and had us all “cloned”. But that is not the case. Just like each plant, each flower is unique and provides different things, each and every human being is INTENTIONALLY made to be different and unique BY DESIGN! It is necessary! Allah wants us to be exactly who he has made us to be and not forego our unique identity, (and what it is meant to bring) as a result of becoming like someone else. By doing so not only are we not being fair upon ourselves, but we are neglecting to see what gifts Allah Subhan-o-Tala has given us; thus robbing the world of our unique offerings for the would that we are meant to bring.
 
No two people, no matter how similar in personality; no two people, no matter how similar in background; no two people, no matter how similar their life history may have been, are ever actually ever living identical lives. NEVER!
 
So why am I bring this up today? Well, there are two main reasons, firstly as mentioned above the health of the individual person, the “daughter-in-law” that has wedded into a family needs to know and understand this for her own health and sanity; and secondly for the health and wellbeing of the family that she weds into. BOTH are very important; as the age old saying goes: it takes two to tango, or you need two hands to clap.
 
The would-be effects on the health of the daughter-in-law is somewhat easy to understand, how this having to forego oneself and become someone/something else can be detrimental for one’s health – mentally, emotionally and physically, (explained further in lots of my other posts); but the health and wellbeing of the others in the family I think needs some light shined upon as well.
 
We, as the receiving family of a new person into our family, need to understand the importance of allowing the new person coming in, to be themselves; both for their health and for our own. You see, often it is these misguided expectations, when failed to have been met, that cause dis-eases in both our beings and in the fabric of the household. This I’m sure is plain to see, as therefore not being a good thing. Any dis-ease leads to disease; whether of the body of an individual human being, or the “body” of the household – dis-eases in the fabric of the household can lead to diseased relationships! Yes diseases are not confined to just “physical matter”, it can find its way into “invisible” threads, the threads that bind together and create the fabric that holds a “family” together. Without this fabric holding us, we are but individuals living under one roof.
 
Coming back to the point at hand. When a mother-in-law brings in a daughter-in-law and expects her to live her life by the mother-in-law’s rules and ways, then she is setting up the relationship to fail! That is it! Plain and simple, the hard truth! It is a trap laid out by cultural dictates from which there is no escape!
 
Why, why do we expect this? Why do we want this? Why do we think we need this, and that it is the “right” thing that needs to happen?
 
My son already has me. I am his mother. I bring to him, to this family to this world everything that I need to. So why do I think that my son, my family, this world needs someone else to be me? I am not looking for my replacement when I seek a daughter-in-law! It’s not like my secretary who answers my calls is gone so I need a new one to do so. No. I am not looking for, nor do I or my son need a replacement for me. The reason why we try to make someone else live life like we are, or we think it should be lived, or we think our son needs it to be so, is ARROGANCE! We think we are right, we think we are great, we think we have it all figured out, we got it all down. But that is the biggest and most ridiculous lie we are subconsciously telling ourselves and subsequently also believing! We are not the greatest to have ever walked this earth, we have not got ANYTHING figured out, we cannot even open our eyes and see the world without Allah SWT permission!
 
Allah has entrusted us with our children, for us to be there guardian, to be their guide to take care of them because we were the people that they needed AS PARENTS. No one else can be a better mother to my son than me. But equally no one else can be a better son to me than my own son (or daughter of course, it’s not about sons or daughters so let’s not side track).
 
But my daughter-in-law has not been sent to my son to be his mother! Either in kind or in personality. He already has me, dead or alive. I am me for him. Neither does he need more of me, wants more of me, or should have more of me.
 
No. His wife has to be her, herself. She was brought to us because she was the person who was the perfect life partner for my son. She is meant to share and live life with him in only the way that she can. And that includes all: the way that she is, to the way that she wants to live her life, run her home, raise their children etc etc etc.
 
Just like my children are not carbon copies of me, and I never wish for them to be; how can I expect, think, want that my daughter-in-law should be anything like me, do anything like me, agree to anything in life with me. We can be standing either side of the number 6 or 9 and seeing a very different reality. No one’s reality is "better" or "more correct" than anyone else’s! They are just different, but equally true and valid. That is not to say that if she wishes to learn something from me then there is anything wrong with that. But equally I should not be arrogant and think that I cannot learn how to do things her way and see life from her perspective. We are always, and need to always be open to, learning and growing; that is the only way that we can evolve otherwise we stagnate. A desire to learn should always be present in everyone, but remember no true learning can synthesis if it is externally forced. So yes, offering suggestions, recommendations, giving advice is not wrong; what is not appropriate is us expecting that those need to be followed through. Don’t imprison one in to your reality. Allow your realities to be free to sit as close to, or as far apart as they need to, in a healthy honouring way.
 
This all is not just something that I, “the mother-in-law” needs to understand, but my son, “the husband”; my daughter, the “sister-in-law”; my other son, the “brother-in-law”; my husband, “ the father-in-law”; all need to understand! We all create the fabric of family together, so together we all must understand and embrace for the betterment of the overall wellbeing and health of the family. We together make the fabric and together we must open our arms to embrace new threads as they are. They may be of a different raw material, they maybe of a different colour, they maybe of a different weight or thickness, they may induce a change in the tension of the fabric; and to accommodate it all, we all must have a level of “give” to prevent any thread from breaking!
 
I hope it goes without saying that all the above mentioned “people” are fictional and just stepping into these shoes for role play to better understand the matter at hand.
 
All these of course equally apply the other way as well, where the family accepts in a son-in-law into their household. Equally a son-in-law can be made to feel “not good enough”; but not good enough to what??!! Perhaps what you envisioned for your daughter? But we are limited to seeing life only through our own eyes, we cannot see through anyone else’s eyes, (don’t even think about bringing in organ transplant into the discussion here, JUST DON’T). We may think that our daughter needs to live life in a certain way, and no doubt it is most likely nothing short of life like a princess; however, Allah knows and ALWAYS does best.
 
It is hard to see why someone, anyone would need to live a life in “poverty”, hard to see how that would be “best” for them. But in all honesty, we can’t and never will be able to, because we think and feel from our hearts. But that is where faith comes in. That does not mean one has to reside to living a life of hardship, we have to keep praying and trying our best to better our life, but equally not fret too much over the shortfall between our dreams and realities. Remember, life on earth is not our ultimate goal, always keep the bigger picture in mind. It’s like fretting over the cleanliness and facilities at a service station! Um, it’s a service station. You are here to grab gas, maybe some food and use the loo; you are not here to make it into your permanent residence! Sure try to plan to stop at a service station that has maybe got a better track record for cleanliness, has the types of food that can better cater for your needs; but you are not going to go to a service station that is on the border of Scotland if you are trying to go from London to Plymouth (without detours), just because it is a good service station!
 
Not everything we think we want, is actually something that we need!
 
​
So on that note, I hope you got all that you needed, even if it might not be all that you necessarily wanted! ;)


MAE  OUT!

This is Part Two of a Two Part Series... Click here to read part one


​

They say one should work smarter, not harder; but what are we doing in this modern world? Working ourselves to the bone to reach a mirage, how is that smarter? No matter what one may or may not have, the food going into us all gets digested in the same way. You can break and fry an egg and eat it that will cost you 40p or you can eat a deconstructed reconstructed egg for £90, NOTHING WILL CHANGE! Either way all you ate was an egg, either way how it will get digested in your body is the same, either way what the body will get is carbohydrates proteins and fats from it.

In fact, actually in truth you probably will lose some nutrients in the process of the deconstruction and reconstruction and probably your body may have had to work a little bit harder to digest this twice processed egg. So in truth, you worked harder and paid more to actually get less nutrition and probably lost more nutrients from your body in the process for achieving the opportunity to eat the deconstructed reconstructed egg; so in actual fact you were better off just eating a “normal” fried egg earned for in a more “normal” way.
 
Another thing, one might say: oh but you cannot compare the taste, the £90 one tastes so much more different and better; you are paying for the taste, the experience etc etc.. Really! Go and ask any Chef, no matter how innovative, crazy and experimental, they will all tell you their favourite food is that of their childhood, cooked by their mother or grandmother. Taste does not come from ingredients, but from the hands of the person cooking it and no one can put more love in a meal than a mother or grandmother, thus no meal can taste better for anyone than that cooked by their own mother, because she is not feeding you food, but love.

No matter who anyone is, how they cook, what they like to eat, all anyone is ever trying to do is replicate the taste of their mother’s cooking; but this is not something that can be bottled and sold, because what makes that food what it is, is a sentiment.

Don’t believe me, well Oobah Butler, a journalist at Vice Magazine, indirectly proved this very phenomenon to us with his The Shed at Dulwich; that it’s not the actual food, but our perception of it all that makes us think something is more than it is; or conversely think something is less than it is. Ambience, presentation, cost, accessibility all deceive our senses into convincing us that what sits in front of us is so much more than it actually is. However, in truth as mentioned above, in reality it is probably less due to all the processing that it under goes; or in the case of Oobah’s restaurant, it is probably a pic of shaving cream and his foot, or that which sits in front of you is a plate of food from Iceland!

 

We need to distil our thinking.


 
Money does not equate to Rizq, we need to understand this. If you are meant to have only 5 grains of rice today that is all that you can have, no matter what you do you cannot change this. The reasons why someone has only 5 grains of rice can and may differ. For example: a person can only have the 5 grains because he is too poor to have any more; another can only have 5 grains because he is too sick to have any more; some other because he could only steal away 5 grains; another might only have 5 because they are dieting; one might have 5 because that is all that they are hungry for; yet a different person maybe only eats 5 because that is all they have time for and yet another perhaps only has 5 grains because they are in a fine dining restaurant that serves tiny portions! So you see, “wealth” cannot determine Rizq! They are not two of the same! The Rizq that is written for us is written, and nothing can change that. How Allah has our 5 grains packaged and parcelled to us may differ, but the quantity cannot increase just because someone may appear to have “more wealth”.
 

Now this does not mean that I am saying one should just sit lazily at home and not make any effort from their own part thinking my Rizq is fixed anyway so why should I struggle, it will get to me I don’t have to make any effort on my own part. No, that is not true.

Again let’s look at the packaging I mentioned above. The reality we live in, how much effort we put in, all make a difference on the packaging. The poor man will eat the same, but perhaps feel an emotional hunger stemming from the thought that if he had more wealth he could have had more grains of rice. The dieting person may feel emotional pains of hunger, thinking perhaps if I didn’t need to diet I could have eaten more to my satiety. The thief, likely maybe suffering from morality hunger, where his lack of morality is leading him to steal rather than work for his 5 grains. Whereas on the other spectrum, the person who only had hunger for 5 grains may feel satiated naturally, but the sick man may feel “health hunger”. The rich man, may be full on his ego and feel satiated from that rather than the actual meal; and the man rushing round probably is too hungry for time and may not even notice what food has or has not gone into his stomach. So you see, life is how we paint it for ourselves.

What we need to be is a “grateful man”, one that is not hungry for something nor full on other things. One that can see that Rizq is from Allah SWT and that HE is providing me today what I need for today, however it can be or is packaged is not that important, because if I can fill my image with the right colours, then the package can change.
 
So how do we fill our image with the “right” colours? What are the right colours? Are there only one set of “right” colours?

This is where it comes back to understanding that Rizq and earthly wealth are not connected.

Rizq and work are not connected. Do in life (as in your "work") that which you want to do, be in the world how you want to be, because that is how you wish to be. Don’t do things thinking: will this be a stable source of income for me? Disconnect from the idea that Rizq is dependent on work. When you start living life how you want to (so long as it does not go against or take you away from Allah's guidance), start doing things that you want to, then you will start enjoying life, irrespective of how much worldly wealth you may have, irrespective of how much Rizq you have.
 
Rizq goes beyond just grains of food or money in the bank. Rizq is a concept that is far greater. From provisions to facilities, from places to experiences, Rizq encompasses all the amenities that enable life; grains of food are just easy to wrap our heads around so it is easier to use as an example to explain the concept, but it is not limited to it.
 
So the thought(s) that prevailed from my epiphany is:
*Don’t confuse more money with more Rizq.
*More members of the family working does not equate to more Rizq.
*More members of the family working does not mean more comfort, on the contrary it means more struggle and strain on the family, because you have to pay for it in other ways that are most likely more harmful and detrimental for the overall wellbeing of the family and its members. *There is nothing wrong with a woman working, but wanting to become a breadwinner at the expense of being a mother is not healthy (again referring to “normal” household, not that of single mothers or of those that are supporting ill husbands). Sure women can work, but not with the intention to “provide”, but rather because they want to do something on the side for themselves, for their personal growth– this is important because when work is something they do for “themselves” on the side, it does not take “centre-stage” in their life.
*For men on the other hand, work is something that is “centre-stage” in their life so it should be something that they enjoy, not something that they feel is “a better bet” for getting a good stable income – this is important because coming back to the Rizq packaging, the Rizq is fixed and pre-determined, so regardless of what they do, they will get the same amount of Rizq, so one might as well do something that they enjoy that can become a means for Allah SWT to bestow one’s Rizq through, rather than do something that they do not enjoy, because this will then determine how that Rizq is packaged for us and therefore how that will be received by us – i.e. will our soul feel satiated by it, or will it feel any type of “hunger” due to it.
 
Its comes back to what I have talked about previously – “unframing”, in my Finding Gratitude Post. Everything in our life is dominos all lined up, what and how we face each one does not matter. It does not change the domino and what it is meant to do, regardless of whatever frame and colour we superimpose on to it.
 
See life for what it is unfiltered and unframed.
 
How we experience life, is up to us, not what will happen in our life.
 
How we frame life, defines our journey, how we experience each frame, narrates our story; but neither can or does change its destination…
 
 
 
Wishing you all Peace and Blessings.

This is Part 1 of a 2 Part series.



I just had an insight today; it’s not really anything new per say, but what has changed is the depth of my understanding of it.
 
We have all heard growing up in the Muslim world that Rizq ( loosely interpreted as your income/livelihood/food) comes from Allah SWT. We all understand this, accept it, repeat it and often have faced instances of astonishment of say: how we thought one food was for one individual, but the “name” on those grains actually belonged to another. We have marvelled at this and many more such miracles of Allah SWT when it comes to Rizq. But we still often fail to understand and accept that Rizq and work are not connected.

It is often seen that our “work” is the primary source through which Allah SWT provides Rizq, but that does not mean that that is the only avenue; and that this means is necessary to get Rizq. No, not at all. This is where we are often misguided and confused, often without even knowing and realising that we are so.

For example: sometimes we get things that we needed or wanted as a gift from someone, or we go to someone’s house and we eat a meal with them, or someone surprises us with a box of chocolates or sometimes we get more for our money - like in a sale. These are all examples of where Allah SWT is providing us our Rizq through avenues other than our “work”.
 
Just like Allah SWT has created one frequent avenue that He provides us offspring through, He has a route that He favours as an avenue for Rizq; but it is important to understand: neither offspring, nor Rizq are dependent on the route! One has a child not because of any physical actions of the human beings, but because Allah SWT Wills it AND that is it! There is no room for dispute, but only if we could see this, (to read more on this, read my "unbox your mind" article). Equally we get, and will continue to get the Rizq that we are meant to get, irrespective of what route(s) it may come from.
 
Now this is an understanding that I have held for some time, however, today the epiphany that came to me in regards to this was furthermore fascinating…
 


Often we think: we need more money, quite a normal widespread thought I’m sure; and often we think the remedy to this problem is, “earn” more through more work. So often as a family we think, if one spouse is working and we are getting X amount, then to get more, the second spouse should work. This will mean then the household income is X + Y taking the household income to now Z.
 
Simple maths right?
Or is it??
Now that is the question, and a question that is very powerful.
 
We think life is simple where X+Y= Z, so where X was not sufficient to meet our “needs” in a way where we had left over income to do “more” with, now having X+Y= Z, will now give us Y as an “extra” for the "more".
 
Logically one thinks this makes perfect sense. BUT, what we do not factor in is, that to allow Y to be, there is a cost as well! So Where X+Y=Z  may be giving us “more” income, originally x was the only out going we needed to meet when only X was the income. Now we have an added expense that has come due to Y, ‘y’. So now, our outgoing that we have to meet is no longer x, but rather x+y=z! SO what does that all mean in simple English?!

Well, simply put:
The net Rizq we have now is still the same as before, despite more physical money moving around.

The moral of the story: to increase one’s income maybe easy, but to increase one’s Rizq is a whole other matter; because as I said above, real Rizq and work are not actually connected.

One can increase the physical pennies coming into the household, but if your Rizq does not go up from Allah, those pennies will not “stay” with you. It is not how many people work in a household, it is not how much income one gets or not, because, real Rizq is not confined to money.
 
By having more members of the family work, all one is doing is splitting the actual house’s Rizq across the different people, not increasing it! THINK ABOUT THAT FOR MINUTE, DEEPLY!
 
Do you understand truly what that means? What that is saying?
 
You are still getting the same amount of Rizq, but working harder for it as a family! Therefore you end up not only paying for it through your own healths, but also the wellbeing of your whole family.
 
THINK ABOUT THAT!
 
By letting go of the guidance and practices that Allah SWT has set for us we are making ourselves diseased. Diseased in heart, mind, health and family. Allah guides us that the man should be the breadwinner in the house and the women should look after the next generation. But in the modern world, women feel that they should be given “equal” opportunity to be the breadwinner.

Now we must understand here the difference between “working” and being a “breadwinner”, they are two very different things! One is not necessarily a breadwinner just because they are working!


The difference is our understanding, or lack thereof, between working and being a breadwinner. They are not two of the same things.

You see the biggest difference between the two comes from what each means, one is a responsibility, the other is an act.
 
The problem is not with "work" itself or even having wealth or an income, the problem arises when the woman is put in a position where she has to chose between being mother to her children or working. Again I feel this is another concept that has been muddied and confused.
 
What does it actually mean to be a mother. What does it mean to be a mother to the children. It does not mean cooking, cleaning, feeding bathing etc.. No.

No, the most important “job” of a mother is to give Tarbiyat to the next generation.

What is Tarbiyat – now for those that do not know this word, loosely translated, Tarbiyat is giving guidance. Giving moral, social, spiritual, mental and emotional guidance/education. This is not something that is to be taken lightly. This is not something that can be done on the fly. This is not something that can or should be taken as a bolt on, an afterthought, a when we have time thing. It is something that needs to be purposeful, which requires presence of mind, clarity, commitment and time. This is the most important fundamental job of a mother’s role, not just for the household, but in and for society.

The biggest problem with the woman having to be or become a breadwinner is, that when she has to shoulder that responsibility, than she cannot shoulder this responsibility properly. We may have two shoulders, but at any one time they can only shoulder one thing properly.

This is not to say that this is impossible.

Of course it is possible to do both, I have a living example of this before my own eyes, but one must point out also, that those are rare cases where the mother has had to shoulder both responsibilities, and that these women that do shoulder both are not career driven, or feminine rights activists!

No, these women who have had to work, to be the breadwinner for the family, have worked for the sake of income; not for the sake of working. There is a big difference.

Women who work because they want to work are a different breed to those that have to work because they are the only one who can be a breadwinner for their family. The reason why I say this is because, those that want to work will prioritise their work in their outlook on life, they will make long term decisions based on their work and career, contrasting to those that work because they are having to be the breadwinner, they will make sacrifices in their field of work/"careers" for the sake of their family’s needs.

(DISCLAIMER: these are just generalised scenarios presented only to explain the points at hand, not concrete judgments passed on any individual. I do not hold any stereo types against people, I know everyone is unique and individual, and each person’s story, situation and personality is different. Please do not get held up on examples that I am only using to explain the bigger picture.)
 
Back to the difference between “working” and being a breadwinner. There is nothing wrong with women working and earning; what is not right (in normal situations) is this work transforming into being a breadwinner role (where it is not necessary). Because when that happens the other responsibility, her real responsibility, has to be side-lined. This then is what causes moral and social problems widespread in society and we find a society that is running on over drive trying to achieve something that they themselves do not even know is what.
 

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Men are designed to be breadwinners, that is their God given role in life, literally! A man’s role is not to be the one to give Tarbiyat. They are not designed for this role. That is why you will find men, especially in the west, can do the household chores; but what they struggle to do is be a "mother" to the children; a true mother. Because as stated above, a mother’s real job is not to manage house logistics, but rather to nurture healthy human beings in its truest sense, something which comes from maternal: instincts, intuition, insights and sensitivity.
 
We need to use the right tool for the right jobs; men are given the role to protect and provide so that the mother can be free from concern for these things and give her time to raising the next generation properly. This is how Allah has created our partnership to be for the betterment of humanity. This is why, if a women wants to work there isn’t an issue as such, the issue arises when she takes on the masculine role of being a breadwinner, which induces a silent silencing of the maternal energy. The role of breadwinner has a masculine trait and brings forth characteristics that stir up masculine energy. When this is sought after by women this throws out the delicate balance of the yin and yang energy both in oneself, the family and society as a whole.

A woman who is “self-sufficient” does not need a man to be "a man" for her, instead needs just a person to be next to her. So the relationship goes from a man holding the wife (and family) in an invisible embrace as a human shield, to a man just holding the wife’s hand, as “equals”; the latter being a weaker link because the need of him is also weaker. As with anything weak, they cannot stand the test of time, thus we end up with broken homes, societies and humanity!
 
Allah’s system is perfect by design. Don’t fight it. Understand the wisdoms in it. Embrace the guidance, even if you do not understand it.
 
Women have been given a very important role by Allah, thus the Jannat (Heaven) under their feet! Do not compromise this role for a mirage. More does not equate to more. The husband has been given the responsibility to be the breadwinner, trust that whatever Rizq you are meant to have, need to have, you are getting it. The wife does not need to work for you to have more Rizq. If you are meant to have more Rizq, that Rizq will find you. Like the Angel of Death will find us no matter where we hide, our Rizq will find its way to us no matter upon which Mountain we may reside!
 
What we need to do to increase Rizq is not work more or try to earn more, but instead, give more, be more and live more. What does that mean. Give more in charity, this comes back to us Ten Fold, that is Allah Promise; and not just our money, but time, energy, love and knowledge. Be more grateful, truly grateful and thankful to Allah SWT for whatever HE has given us, is giving us and will give us. Most importantly, do not underestimate the power of Duas, both your personal duas, duas that others give you and duas that are recommended to read by our Prophet. These are the real ways that we can increase our Rizq. And remember Rizq is not confined to money or food. It is also how we are living our life. The more we actually live our life, truly live, the more comfort we will find in it, as we will no longer be fighting life, no longer be trying to achieve a mirage, we will finally be fully embracing and indulging in each moment of life and accept each moment and seeing each moment in its full glory.


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Read Part 2 for the Conclusion of this Series... Click here to read part two.