Lifeline- Adult Mentoring and Emotional support
Emotional health has always been overlooked. The human being is built up of many dimensions: intellectual, mental, physical, social, spiritual and emotional. Each in it’s own right needs to be in a healthy balance for one to be a healthy human being. Luckily we live in a country that does have an understanding of, the need for avenues for intellectual growth, physical care, mental and social support, spiritual groups and spaces, it is however a bit lacking on the emotional support front. Emotional support that is not associated with depression, emotional support that is a human need for general life happenings. Often a group of good friends may fill in this empty space, but it is not always the case and should not be fobbed of to just social circle to be enough. It is a real requirement, to have an impartial non-judgmental "stranger" to, at times, help us through our very real emotional struggles.
This is a real side of the human being which also needs "professional" support. There are aspects of our lives that we find a lot easier to “off-load” to a person in a "professional" capacity, than to a personal friend. There is a real need to have a place for emotional support providers- people who are emotionally literate. People who understand and provide appropriate holding for it. Emotional literacy needs to be recognised and understood, it needs to come from a space that is of great compassion and humanity -sadly I feel something which is dying more and more everyday. The world does not recognise emotional health for its worth, therefore the lack of its literacy and support.
With the ever growing multiculturalism in the world, it means now, more so than ever before, people find they feel really stuck and torn by their life situations; with no one around who can understand them. Their culture may dictate one thing, their heart another, their surrounding society a third. Most are even without a healthy family support network and are really struggling how to cope in this emotional turmoil where they feel: “but no one understands me, my situation, my problems, my dilemma.” It doesn't always have to be as a result of multiculturalism though, it can very easily still be the case with being of the same culture as surroundings, but still feeling emotionally a wreck due to uncountable reasons. Aside from that, with the changing face of the world- the new ultra-connectivity era, comes its own set of issues and challenges; opening yet another doorway for emotional disturbance. All of these growing challenges of the 21st century, mean that it is becoming even more essential to have a place for emotional welfare.
Everyone at some points needs someone to talk to, someone they can just pour out all their heart with, speak to about their problems. Someone they can trust is not going to judge them, lecture them, mock them or belittle them. In short emotionally abuse them. We have all sorts of “help-lines”, but they are not very effective in providing emotional support one needs for the day to day life. Samaritans for example are great, but one could feel “I am not feeling suicidal, I just want someone to hear me!” (although it must be said, contrary to popular belief, they are not just there to talk to people who are suicidal). Alternatively, maybe one may feel, they do not always want to talk to a different random stranger on the other side all the time. One needs to create an emotional rapport with a person, a connection, a relationship over time; for an avenue for on-going support for emotional well being.
Having appropriate context and depth of understanding, with a person, is vital. I say this with experience, when one is in a certain emotional state they can pour out their heart and with it, flush out that particular excess emotional energy. In doing so, we then seal away the memories with an emotional imprint. If then later, another emotional surge comes about and to explain the depth of it, if we have to re-visit that imprint to explain the background needed to understand this new surge; it is extremely painful and challenging- to the point where we would rather not re-visit it. Therefore we prefer not to let out the surge and keep it bottled up.
The whole process feels it has just doubled or trebled in magnitude, overwhelming us to a point where it feels it is no longer beneficial for us to try and tackle it; instead it feels easier to hold in that flame and force it down to simmer inside. But what one does not realise is, the implications of this act. If we keep holding in these emotional flares they will eventually build up to a point where they will suddenly, uncontrollably boil over the pot. Leading to an uglier and nastier mess; with a far bigger aftermath to deal with, than if we just dealt with these little bubbles of emotions as and when they came. This is where having continuity is really crucial. If you have one source to constantly go to for help, to tackle the emotional uproars, as and when they happen, you have a much better chance at tackling them in the most healthiest of ways.
In this roller coster ride where we feel all alone, overwhelmed by emotions and feel we don’t have any escape from our strife. We need to have a safe space where we can let out all our emotional unrest and free ourselves of this emotional prison. This is where a third person, a compassionate listening ear, can help you. An “invisible person” who can hold your hand and help you with coping with life, dealing with your situation, making and bringing peace inside your emotional world. There are no degrees, no courses that can teach one to be a life line- an emotional companion. You become one by listening to people- to hear them, to support them. You learn by thinking out of your compassion, acting out of your humanity. Opening your heart up to engulf in theirs, so to allow your heart to hold theirs and help heal.
This is not a job, its not a career, its a choice. I am here making this choice. My whole life, I have chosen to listen to people, to talk to people, to hear people, to hold people. If you ever feel you need to be held, you need to be heard, you need to be understood, you need to be loved and you have no where to turn to, I am here to be that listening ear, be that invisible hand, be that hug to bring you back to living and being yourself.
Today I am setting up LIFELINE-a network of compassionate people here to be an adult mentor- an emotional companion, providing emotional support for real life day to day happenings on the journey of modern life.
I am a lifeliner.
At the end of a line,
At the end of a messaging App.
At the end of coffee table.
If you need me.
1. I never charge for my time, as I do not want to be unreachable for anyone, because those who need it most, often are not at liberty to spend anything on their health. If anyone wishes to show their gratitude via a payment that is entirely at personal choice and will go to help support this mission of emotional healthcare.
2. If you feel you are someone who can be a lifeliner, and be there as a personal mentor/emotional companion for someone to help them through life’s journey, please do get in touch. You do not need a degree in human psychologically or “proof” of a compassionate heart. You need to be a person who is willing to open up their heart and be there for a person. (Please be aware that any information that you will be told will be in confidence and needs to be treated with absolute confidence. Emotional support works on the bases of trust, a person is placing their trust in you; ramifications will happen if this circle of trust is broken).
TELL ME WHEN, TELL ME WHERE, AND I'LL BE THERE*...
I am a Freelance Chef, who enjoys teaching just as much as cooking, if you need help in hosting a party, or entertaining a few children while teaching them cooking skills, then I am the person you are looking for. From BBQ's to event catering, private do's to bread making, if you need to hire a chef or just need a little help with a few items which ever the case, then you are in the right place!
I believe in wholesome, hearty, nourishing food; feeding the soul just as much as feeding the body. Its not the quantity of dishes, but rather quality of them, that catches the hearts of your guests. Provide them soul food and take them on a journey of emotions.
There is a very famous saying in the world of science, "energy is neither created nor destroyed, only transferred" I live by this rule. The energy that goes into growing food, the energy that goes into preparing the food, cooking the food, is all the energy that lives in the food and therefore the energy that gets absorbed from consuming the food.
Cold hard machines, give cold hard energy; mass produced chemical filled foods, give toxin filled disconnect energy. If it is grown with love, it has the energy of love living within it; if it is prepared by hand, the warmth and care of the cook breathes within it. If it is cooked with happiness, happiness is transferred through it.
Do not underestimate the powers of energy, it can not be measured in calories, but only experienced, felt and prospered from.
I trained especially in children’s meals as I believe the best way to teach people about eating right is by being out in the field and living the message! That is how our prophet Muhammad SAW did it, he practiced what he preached, he lived every message He taught not by words, but actions.
I believe in free and easy access to knowledge, hence my blog is a completely free space, no strings attached. Apart from my blog, I drop little pieces here and there, follow me if you like on twitter, facebook or instagram.
I have a dream to bring back the glory of home cooking; simple, loving and nourishing.
If you want to go on this journey of re-discovery with me, it will be my pleasure to be your guide.
Let's come back to living in harmony with nature; eating seasonal, local, natural and fresh.
MEHER A EQBAL
*subject to availability, T's & C's apply.
Every day a day passes, but some days make us stop and think more, some days force us to stop and reflect.
New year's Eve is a day like every day, but one that makes us stop and reflect. New year's day, a day that makes us stop and think; dream, hope and wish. A mer moment separates the two, but turns a day of reflection to a day of hope and reinvigoration.
As the clocks struck 12 bringing upon us the new year and decade, new hope and excitement filled the air. There is definitely something about this new decade that just feels oh so right…
I feel a bit like I am in a Marry Poppin’s movie, thinking and talking in song, quite likely to break out in dance too...
#I can’t quite put my finger on it, don’t know what it is just yet, but I know there is something there, that hasn’t quite shown itself to us just yet!#
...reminds me of when Bert talks about the winds changing and something going to happen thats all happened before…
Let’s hope that this magic that can be sensed can fill our lives to come with all the right ingredients to make the future just as magical as we can imagine it to be.
As we charge forward towards the new horizon, I thought I should just shed a little light on the weeks just gone before they become but a distant memory. Amidst all the socialising and fun, as always, sat the meals of the day as the focal points of both the gatherings and the day. I normally don’t like to talk much about food that I sample, although I know it to be quite a popular practice, but due to several reasons I tend to refrain from such indulgences. But in the hustle bustle of what is the winter holidays, there was one thing that I was fortunate enough to have been acquainted with amongst many other exquisite dishes. It really caught my eye and shone out to me as something new and different and quite like nothing I had had before that I thought, for this, I must break my rule and give a shout out about it.
Believe it or not but the thing to make me stop in my tracks was a humble peanut butter! Yes you heard me, of all the things that I indulged in, the thing that made me break my rule and write was a humble peanut butter (no it is not the first time I have had peanut butter, if that is what you are thinking).
On New Years day I was out celebrating with my family and although the food was quite, well what one would call, epic on all counts, the complimentary peanut butter is what stole the show. I mean don’t get me wrong, every bite, of the entire evening, was just as scrumptious as I could have hoped for, but peanut butter, ahh!! I mean it’s peanut butter, how different can it be, how can that be the lasting memory from a meal of delectables. Well I will tell you how.
Never in my life have I tasted such a light peanut butter. It was beautiful ivory coloured, silky and light, like whipped butter, with little notes of sweetness in all the right ways. It was not sweet like it has any added sweetness, just a hint of the natural sugars already present in the peanut. It was definitely something on another level! I never thought I could enjoy it so much! Although I must say, it could not be eaten on its own ( yes I did try!) it had to be eaten with the complimentary bread that came with it, fresh hot out the oven these little pillows of delight were definitely the right partner for this condiment to tango with.
Definitely did not see that coming! If you are ever passing through the area, something definitely worth stopping by for!
So enough of my past weeks of indulgent holiday time, back to the present. With school life back in full swing, along with swinging trees in heavy winds, hope you have something nice to look forward to towards the still foggy future, hope that the new decade has got you secretly excited about something. Its an uncertain future for us still in the UK, but I hope if any one thing is certain, it’s hope! Hope for the future, hope for yourself and hope for being blissful yet!
This space features my reflections, opinions, ponderings and from time to time announcements of what I am up to. It literally is me in my corner on my soapbox.