What is it that we are buying into, what is that we are living by?
 
They, the ‘powers that be’, that use media to program society and its thoughts, keep push certain ideas and agendas and processes upon us; and we do not even realise the subtle programming that is happening through: every advert, every tv show, every book, every article, every movie, every poster. We are unaware of the conditioning that we are constantly undergoing.
 
There is a huge push for certain body types, a push to thinking that these body types are healthy. But the question is, MY QUESTION IS, what is health? Is health the absences of diseases? Is health living a long life? Is health having an athletic built body? What is health?
 
And I think this really is the question we all need to be truly asking ourselves… what is health? Is being diseases free having health, or is the desire to be diseases free stemming from our fear of death and suffering?
 
Is having an athletically fit body, health; or is this desire stemming from our programming to think a) if I am athletic, I am going to be less prone to diseases (going back to the points above) or b) if I am of this build, I will look younger/ more desirable?
 
The problem, in my opinion, is that there is a whole agenda against ageing. Well actually when we are children we cannot wait to grow up and society is constantly pushing us to make our children ‘grow up’ faster, and when we are adults there is a huge push for us wanting to stay young. Its like we want to be forever 21. And there are several reasons for this. a) we are old enough to be ‘our own boss’, b) young enough that we do not have any responsibilities c) we look and are desirable d) we want to and do spend all the time carefree partying.
 
Now back to the “powers that be”, they love this age group (or there abouts) because they spend the most money, they do not want to settle down and have a family, they make and get into trouble. Its all about destabilizing society and making the most money in the process.
 
They do not want you to settle down and have a family, because family life brings stability and contentment in life. They don’t want you to be content, if you are content, you will not spend money. They don’t want traditional family settings where everyone has their own space and place in the family and they feel loved and cared for. They want you to feel insecure, they want families to break up because then you spend more money. More money on housing, more money on making yourself feel desired, more money on drowing away your emotions and depression, more money on wiping away your guilt you have towards your children for not being there for them the whole time, more money competing with your ex for your children’s love, attention and favouritism. More money winning over your children’s love and loyalty. More money simply chauffeuring the kids between the two houses and more money on yourselves to feel younger and desirable to get a new partner more money on therapy, more money on children’s therapy both now and when they are older.
 
You and I are just money-making machines for these “powers that be”.
 
Let me ask you, what is wrong with growing old? When we grow up, have a family, look after the family and we start getting “weathered” by life, what is so wrong with that? Who is it that you want and need to attract? When does a child love their mother because of what she looks like? Seriously, where and when have you ever seen a child want to not love their mother who is a “perfect” motherlike personality, but she just is not looking like she is 18 anymore? Like serious when? What child would not love their mother and I mean truly love their mother just because she is starting to grey and has ‘excess’ fat around her body?
 
What grandchild does not love their grandmother? Who, ever looks or thinks ‘oh my grandma is not loveable because she is fat?’ Like seriously! When you think of and look at your grandmother do you see her unconditional love or do you think: yuck wrinkles and saggy skin? Like seriously? Do you see her beautiful radiant smile filling you with energy or do you see her missing teeth?
 
What ideals are we living by really? Are they really our ideals? Are they the ideals that we want to really live by?
 
What a society we would be if we didn’t have our grandmothers and grandfathers! Can you imagine how gloomy this world and life would truly be? Grandparents are the power house of love that drive this world around. Pure, unconditional, want to spoil rotten, ball of love. That is all that they are meant to be. They are not meant to be the next top model, they are not meant to run the 100-meter Olympic dash, they are not meant to be anything other than being a grandparent. Yes, some of them may still be working and that is fine, some of them maybe in the fields of sport and media and that is also fine, it’s their choice of what they want to be in life.  But having a choice is the important part here. Having true freedom to choose, but sadly with all of our conditioning it is becoming less and less possible to have true choice.
 
It all comes back to what is health, true health?
 
We want health of the body, but we forget that health of the body is connected with health of the heart and mind, i.e. the soul.
 
Nature has its ways because that is what life’s cycle needs
 
When we are small, we need shelter and protection; a loving, guiding hand of a father, a loving, nurturing lap of a mother. As we mature and bloom, we need an external connection with another, with this connection we then bring opportunity for new life; the seeds of which must make their own new home under the shade and care of the formers. As we grow, we spread ourselves out and find our own space to settle in to, to nurture and develop both ourselves and our young; and so, the circle of life continues. And one day like those before us we too will mature, age and grow old and eventually life will breathe out from us allowing us to return back to that which we came from. If we do not let go of what has been, we cannot go towards what which will be and experience that what is.
 
Listen to the natural world, the natural way of life, it is calling us back to simplicity, calling us back to truth and reality.
 
Pain is not the same thing as suffering and neither suffering the same as pain. Know and understand the difference. We can have one without the other, and one despite the absences of the other.
 
Do we suffer because we have pain, or do we have pain because we suffer?
Is it the old chicken and the egg scenario; but in truth, that never really was a question to start off with. Allah created man to populate the earth, not an embryo; He created plants, not seeds to fill the earth; He created animals not eggs to embellish the earth. Our souls suffer which plays out as pain, and then in turn we suffer more because of both the pain and the origin of said pain. But why do we suffer to begin with?
 
Do we have to suffer?
 
To have challenges in life, is the nature of life, but to suffer due to said challenges is a choice.
 

We have a fake idealistic perception of the expression of love which we have blindly bound to by the rules of some writer’s fantasy of how one should shower love.
Then we take this writer’s ruler meter of how to’s and harshly judge our partners lowly; when the truth is they do not even know what it is that they are not measuring up to because they read a different writer’s fantasy and are working towards achieve said fantasy and not the one we are measuring them by. So how may I ask is this right, fair or even holding any sense? Why should we live by anyone’s else prescribed fantasy firstly and why should we not be appreciated for any expression of love irrespective of whose fantasy it is!?!
 
Imagination is good, reading is good, watching tv (can also be argued) is good; however, when we start to allow these things to cloud our judgment and not see the forest for the tress this is when its bad!
 
When our partners do something, say something, give something, think of us in regards to something, we need to see it for what it is, their unique way of expressing their unique love for us. We do not all love the same man or women, everyone has a slight different preference for who and how their life partner should be. SO just like our choices are different in choosing our companion, our way of expressing care and love for that individual will also carry its own flavour…
 
Not everyone loves red roses, yes, believe it or not it’s not everyone’s most loved flower, yet we are very quick to measure up someone’s lack of giving it to us as a sign that they don’t “love us”… really?!? In fact some people don’t have any interest in flowers one bit (I mean in receiving flowers) but because society dictates we should give flowers it becomes a customary obligation.
 
Why?
 
Is it so wrong that a girl does not really fancy flowers to be “spoiled” with but rather fancies a quiet walk along the beach or a thrilling sky diving experience, or maybe a camping trip in to the mountains or woods… or a guy does not fancy a new set of cufflinks instead prefers some planters or a new shirt or a romantic night in with candles and bath-bombs?
 
Some men (and women) may still prefer to hold doors open, or pick up the bill, it does not mean they are trying to be offensive.
 
It all comes back down to getting to know and understand the people around us. When we connect with and understand the person then we know if someone is doing something out of their feelings in their heart or if someone is trying to make an “offensive” gesture.
 
Someone may be just giving you some personal space out of respect and care for you, but if you don’t look at the genuinity of the person’s gesture you can mistake it for “ignoring” you. We tend to just take everything in extremes and not give the other the benefit of doubt and actually explore into the other’s reasons for their actions, or lack thereof.
​
Start seeing the forest for the trees!

We cannot control learning. One cannot control or predict what another learns.  A teacher can bring a lesson to the class, but she cannot upload her thoughts into the student’s brains. What each individual student will take away from the same lesson will be as different and unique as they themselves are. How one processes the information presenting before us, even we ourselves cannot know.
 
I can go into a class thinking today I will learn how correctly to do a body curl, but what I will actually learn in that class I do not actually know, and sometimes do not even come to the realization of said learning perhaps until many years later, if that.
 
Not only does everyone’s brain work differently, but how we relate to something is not dependent on the content or how our brain works, but on our history, our experiences, our own insights.
 
This is why 1000 people can read the same book yet take something very different away from it and what that will be is a mystery to all, Except Allah. He alone knows why He brings the experiences that He does to us. He alone knows why we need those experiences, and He alone knows exactly what we will gain from each and every experience and also when we will gain it. Sometimes it is not till years later that an article finally makes sense to us or becomes “relevant” for us.
 
So not only do we have to trust in every experience brought to us, that there is a reason for it and also trust in the timing of each thing to be necessary and precise; but also, we have to not assume that everyone learnt the same thing from the same lecture, or book or experience. Thus it is a good practice also to hear out what another has to say about a book that you may have already read for yourself.
 
In the same way, every homeopath you will go to, every doctor you will go to, every herbalist you will go to, will all hear and understand different things of and about your health.
 
You can tell the exact same story, in exactly the same words with exactly the same expressions undertones etc to 50 homeopaths and they will all take way something different from your story; like in a student clinic setting for example. Each will pick up on different things based on their understanding, their experiences and their insights, (and mind you, not their understanding of the art of homeopathy, rather their understanding of you and your story! Their understanding, thus use of homeopathy is an entirely different aspect).
 
That said, not only what someone picks up on is different, but actually, with each individual homeopath you may go to, you will express your story in a slightly different way. Why, because of our gut connection. Our gut is a fascinating thing, it eludes us of things that we are not aware of, it conveys things that words cannot, it inspires in us ideas that we did not know existed.
 
When we sometimes meet someone, without quite knowing how, we know that this person will understand me when I say this. We may barely know this person, like a homeopath we have not visited before, or an acquaintance at work whom we have a polite relationship with, not a deep connection with; but we somehow unknowingly why, just know that this person will understand me when I say this. This is our gut connection, our aura’s connecting, our energies exchanging. Sometimes a client may be trying to explain to me their timeline or their feelings, and without them knowing my timeline/experiences they strike a chord with mine. They say something which I know exactly, because I too have experienced it. Even more interestingly, they then don’t even go into it too much, as somehow, they too know that I have just understood it, that it is been heard – not their words, but their story has been heard.
 
As a homeopath, we go beyond the words that come out of our client’s mouth. We listen to the story that they are trying to convey to us. It’s important to note here, that the story that one tells through their words, is not always necessarily the story that those actual words are narrating. For example, “I got bit by a dog” is not saying, “I got bit by a dog”, its saying so much more than that. There is fear, there is anger, there is worry, there is pain. Sometimes, not all those feelings can be expressed into words, but each sits in our eyes, in our fidgeting, in our expressions, in our body language; but most importantly it is felt through the invisible connection that our energies make.
 
When we sit with our crying child in our arms, we try to sooth them, but we also try to “listen in” to what she is quietly conveying to us: the loud bang was painful to my ears, the loud bang caused a disturbance in my soul, the loud bang left me shaking and unsettled, I feel scared, I feel unsure, I feel worried, I feel too much that I do not know how to cope with... And we, the mother, in turn in our cuddles and warm embrace, in our soft soothing humming, addresses to all those silent cries, not just the vocal one.
 
When someone says “I never cry”, they are not saying that they have never experienced sadness, or grief or they have nothing to cry for or about in their life. No, it is actually the very opposite. There is grief, its silent grief. They are “salted over” in grief, they cannot release those “salty thoughts” through salty tears…
 
These examples above though, are still not based on personal insight, rather just from the general homeopathic perspective. Personal connection goes even a step further than this. When a person tells one a story, and they have lived a similar experience then the listener knows not just of the obvious emotions said, or disclosed but even the very subtle and deep ones that only one who has lived said experience can know.
 
If for example a person feels betrayed by a close loved one, they may feel like they have been “stabbed in the back” or “stabbed straight up right in the heart” by that person, there may be shock and horror, anger and hatred, sorrow and grief, emotions which can be picked up quite strongly, but there are some other ones deep hidden under the layers of these stronger ones, a longing to undo the betrayal, a sympathy to forgive the betrayal, a hatred of oneself, a pain that pangs through your heart which simultaneously wants to forgive and forget but also cannot forgive and forget, a battle of feelings which do not really have words; all you know is that there is pain, a lot of it. Feelings which muddy with each other and overflow and overwhelm your whole existence. You feel let down by that person, by yourself, for allowing this to happen, for putting so much trust and hope and expectations on the other person, on your relationship, and you end up with a broken heart that bleeds pure agonising pain. Now no matter what may happen, no matter how much apology, no matter how much regret and remorse may come to mend it, that heart can never go back to being the same again. Even if its “brokenness” were to mend, the scar can never go away, it will always remain as a reminder to never trust and open your heart in that way to anyone ever again…
 
Some people might react by putting up a wall around their heart, others may react by reclusing into oneself, another by hating their ownself and blaming themselves, feeling that they are the wrong doer that they deserved to be treated in this way because they are not good enough causing them to be remorseful of themselves. And sometimes they can go through all of these actions and end up in a dark space of depression where life no longer feels worth living and suicide and/or self-harm the only road visible in this dark never-ending night. Only one who has slummed so low themselves can understand the true torture and torment of the soul from the moment of betrayal through to the steps proceeding suicide. The dark thoughts that haunt these broken souls can remain unsaid in a company who has experienced the same and yet still be heard.
 
The inexperienced often think that you can spot a depressed soul a mile out, but actually, to the surprise of most, most that bite that bullet shock the world as to their state. Many suicide deaths could not have been seen coming, why, because with most you cannot tell that they are depressed and in such a dark space. Smiles beam from their brave faces, kindness drips from there essences and colour encompasses and cloaks their minds darkness. They may even eat “normally”.
 
You see we have some stereotypical images of depression, and where those impressions may also hold true, they are not the only image of depression. Because why one gets dragged into depression makes a big difference. Our actions, our body’s “breakdown” all disclose our story. Most of us have a very Allopathic view of illnesses. You see, Allopathy, busies itself with just the illness, but homeopathy wants to listen into why and it does so by understand each person’s individual symptoms.


Everyone experience “high blood pressure” say, in a slightly different way, or “diabetes” or in the above case, depression. What has led one on to that road, determines how that “illness” plays out within us; for it is not the “illness” that ails us, but the happening in our timeline that led us to it that actually ails us. It is not the gallstones that we need to be “cured” from, but that in our life that made us so “bitter”.
 
When I hear “gallstones” I immediately think “bitterness” then I start thinking about all the emotions and events related to their timeline that could have led them down the path to bitterness; it is these emotions and these events that need addressing to “address” the gallstones.
 
How we think, what we experience, how we feel, how we interpret, process, understand and deal with life all mould our being and make us who we are. We are all unique and individual, no two people are the same, no two person’s stories are the same, no two people will live and come out of life in the same way.
 
Why we experience things, why we get connected with the individuals we do, how we know what we know, how we learn what we learn, how we communicate and how we know how and what we communicate and more, are all part of the hidden knowledge that Allah SWT, alone only has. What our life and our journey through life is meant to bring to us, to others and this world we will never fully know; we can try all we want to capture and understand and explain, but all we will end up with is mere snippets of this puzzle. Allah Alone is The All Knowing, All Planning, All Seeing, All Controlling, All Creating, The EverLiving and Eternal, Rabbil Aalameen. HE Alone Knows what and who we are, what when and who we need and how we need it.
Subhan Allah! Alhumdulillah! Allah-o-Akber!
Allah-o-Akber! Allah-o-Akber! Allah-o-Akber
Oh Allah, I submit.
I submit to you Allah and all your plans for me, indeed you are The All Knowing and The Best and Only True Planner; please guide me in the best way that only You know how.

Like everything in life, in nature, is a slow transformation, so too is the case with your “health”. We do not suddenly become ill. Even when we catch a cold suddenly, even when we have an accident unexpectedly, nothing happens actually instantaneously; as much as an accident may occur over a split second, what actually led one to that accident transpired over a period of time that was longer and from well before that split second. Things don’t just go wrong. Like I have said before in my Lightning Bolt Phenomenon post, lightning does not just fall randomly anywhere, we send out the signals first, we attract and the response comes from the “universe”.
 
Thus just like, several things lead us to a situation, develop and unfold, or reveal an “illness”, there too must be several steps taken to then address said “illness”. Change “positive” or “negative” happens over a period of time, how long each period is or will be, no one can really know. Sometimes, things add up one at a time in the background and then bang a small thing triggers an event which causes the outward change, but in truth, the last addition was not what was the sole cause of the event, no matter how much it may seem so, it was just the straw that finally broke the camel’s back, but it is not the straw that is actually the reason, it is all of everything else that lead up to and transpired before the straw came into play that caused the straw to be able to have the impact that it did. In the same way, with “healing”, sometimes, one remedy can start the chain reaction needed to unravel the energy trapped with us, and it is enough, no other thing is necessary to instigate change, however, many times, because our lives are so complex, we need several remedies given strategically to instigate any change. Sometimes clients say, oh you gave me this and this and this, but it didn’t do anything at all, and then when you gave me this, this is the one which only helped a little, all the rest were “rubbish” just give me more of that again don’t give me anything else.
 
Well, firstly all I can say to that is, I’m glad the last one helped, but how can we really be sure that the other’s didn’t do anything? The straw and the camel also apply here too. Sometimes, we need to prime the situation before so that the straw can then come into play, if we only relied on the straw on its own, it likely may not have much impact, or at least have much less impact than it does when given after the other apparent “inert” ones.
 
The issue is, we are always in a rush, always looking for quick fixes, too quick to judge and move on. We need to slow down and give things their due time and respect. Just because we are hungry and have a full plate of food in front of us does not mean we open our mouths and pour it all in at once down our throats! That would not “fix” our hunger now would it! No, the food needs to be eaten in small bites and each bite chewed and swallowed properly before the next bite can be taken; and even with that there is an etiquette, we start from the part of food closest to us and work our way around the plate systematically not just eat through the meal haphazardly like we do not know what we are doing.
 
A homeopath is trying to create a dialogue with your being, with your vital force. When you visit the first time, they hear what you are telling them, they respond, then you have to come back and “talk” some more and then they “respond” again accordingly. That is the only way a "dialogue" can be formed, otherwise you are not having a conversation with them, rather only just said “hi” and moved on.

A morning hello to a stranger on the street is not going to “heal you”, deep meaningful conversations build on trust will; whether the conversation is a real conversation or the above metaphoric, either way, it is all dependant on our connections. The deeper, stronger and bigger our connection is to something, anything, the more impact it has on our lives, its simple common sense really if you think about it, nothing mystical and elusive about it.
 
I reach out and make the connections with the people who are important to me, with the people whom I want to have impacts upon and from in my life; it’s up to you to reach out and form connections with the people you want to have connections, thus impacts with and from.
 
As a homeopath however, I don’t check in after my clients, reminding them of follow ups; they know where I am, they know how to reach me. And that is not because I do not care about them or value them and all that they bring, rather because it is up to them if they want to have a connection with me, it is up to them to want to heal, and up to them if they choose to include me in their healing journeys.

“Healing” is not only a journey, but also a choice! No one can "heal" you, except you, because "healing" is something that happens on the inside, on a subconscious soul level; you have got to actually want to "heal" yourself for "healing" to ever take place.

Some of us, become too attached to our illnesses, we start identifying with them; we actually, despite our complaints of our ailments, do not want to part from them as strange as it may sound. Because believe it or not, illnesses are not actually our enemy, they are a part of us, they are us communicating with ourselves, subconscious to conscious; and deep down somewhere we know this. We know that our illnesses are telling our story, and we at some deep level, do not want to let go of them because we have become too "attached" to them and our story.
 
What we need to understand is that “healing” will not change our story, it will not dampen it, or take anything away from it. It will not “change” us. Healing is a journey of recognising our story, learning from it and growing from it and allowing our next chapters not to be cocooned by our previous. By “healing” from our experiences, we cannot change those experiences nor the impact that they had upon us when they happened; by “healing” from them what we are allowing to do is, show that we are much more than those experiences, that those experiences cannot define us nor restrain us, we are choosing to live on despite them and not be imprisoned by them.

It’s like a scar, when we fall over and cut ourselves on the knee and begin to bleed, we do not sit there by the road side being engulfed and paralysed by the bleeding; no we wipe off the blood and pick ourselves up and carry on, allowing the cut to seal itself and scar over. Over time we may even forget that that happened and that we have a scar; we do not let our life be revolved around the scar, or incident. Sometime later we may even catch sight of the scar again and perhaps recall what happened but again we will remember it fleetingly and then move on.
 
We have to look at our “bigger” “illnesses/ailments” in the same way.

They are not there to be dwelled on, and neither for that matter is our life or our “story”. We need to learn to treat life like the road side trip-up, address it, treat it and them move on. The more we hold on to things the longer they stick around, going stale and mouldy, giving off a foul stench and making us “ill” from it.
 
Life brings you lessons to learn and grow from, not “destroy” you with. If a human being can fully recover from a near fatal accident, where not only every major bone in their body was broken, but it was also advised for by the doctors to have the machines switched off as they are looking like to be most likely "brain dead" - then are we not underestimating our ability to heal??
 
If you are standing here today, then is that not proof in itself that whatever you have faced in your life you have overcome it! As the old saying goes: whatever does not kill you, only makes you stronger! So whatever it is that you may have faced in your life, you got through it!! You got over it, you defeated it. It is time to brush yourself off and pick yourself up and walk away from it. You are not the conquered, but the conqueror!

And if you are standing here today in the middle of sh*t, feeling like you are drowning in it, then work through it one piece at a time; with each piece you address, with each puzzle you solve, you release the pressure it may have been mounting on you today.

Remember: with each unravelling strain, you reduce the impact of the straw; and hunger is not “fixed” with a landslide of food going down your throat, it is addressed one bite at a time…
 


And don’t forget to chew on it ;)

Lots of people nowadays have weight targets, health goals, lifestyle ambitions etc. so that they can “live better” …  ...When?  ?? I mean seriously, when?

When will you “live better”.
 
We are too obsessed, through no fault of our own, with if we have “good” health, “good” weight, “good” toned body; then and only then, we believe we can be able to “live better”, live “healthier”; and by that one mostly infers to not having any “diseases”. We believe diseases to be the culprit, diseases to be our enemy, what robs our “health”, robs our “vitality”, robs our “life”. But we could not be further from the truth!!
 
Diseases are not “foreign” or an enemy at all…
 
We live in so much fear of diseases, but in reality, it is not the disease, but the fear which is the enemy. We have it all wrong…. 
 
It's is our lack of living, not lack of “health” that robs us; it is actually us under that mask, that is robbing us, no one else. Like I said health is not a target to achieve. Actually in truth, it does not even exist in of itself… it's a mirage, an illusion, a concept that is making our life but a paradox. We are running away from the truth, chasing after an illusion and fooling only ourselves; but worse of all, losing ourselves, our life, our hopes and desires in the process of wanting to achieve a “fabled magic key” with which we wish to unlock the very thing we are losing in the process of trying to gain said fabled entity.
 
All we have to do is stop and look around us, life does not begin after any said point, life is happening right now! You are “living” it; but sadly in most cases we are not actually “living it”, rather letting it run through our hands as we run in a never ending rat race on a hamster wheel!
 
GET OFF THE WHEEL!
 
If you don’t get off now, eventually when you will “fall off” of it, you will realise that not only where you on a train to nowhere, but in anticipation of what can be, or can come from this chase, you have lost all that already is and was.
 
Don’t be another “loser” who looks back thinking what have I done, what have I lost, when did I “live” in that life that just flew by me… stop and start living today, now! Life is, only and only every can be, in the now. There is nothing either side of now. No one can reach into "time" either side of now, it does not exist. It is a promise, that isn’t promised! A faint and weak dream that cannot stretch into today. You are on a path to nowhere surrounded by void, in fact, it is not even a path at all, if you look closely you will find that you are actually standing still, it is life actually that is moving and happening around you! Yes you can reach out and touch this life as it danced around you, you can take from it what you want as it presents itself in front of you, but actually you cannot keep any of it with you! Not even your memories if it does not want you to. So don’t be under any illusions, there is no such thing as your life. There is life and there is you, you are placed inside of life for a limited time, experience it as you may, make the most of it for as long as you have the opportunity, but don’t get fooled into thinking that Life exists for you. You are but a visitor, don’t make yourself too comfort, for your ride is very soon coming to an end; no amount of health, wealth, power, or control can or will ever change when your ejector seat is going to get pulled.
 
 
So I come back to the point of when are you going to live your life, this “good healthy life” that you keep telling yourself that is going to happen??
 
I am not saying that one should not be mindful of what they are eating and doing with there life, that they should become a sloth. No, you are human being’ you are designed to live life like a human, not a sloth, or a pig, or a bee. Don’t let your life mimic any of an animal's, Allah has designed you to be human, He has destined for you to be a human so be a human; live life like a human. Human’s have been designed to have the power to "think", a trait that animal’s do not have. Animals, live, feel, react, recall even, but their “thinking” capacity is not like that of a human beings, they cannot formulate abstract thought like a human can. This is why Allah SWT calls us Ashraful Makhluqat – the noblest creation, the crown of creation.
 
We have been sent down to earth for a higher purpose than to just eat, breathe, excrete! Look beyond your body. We do not get sick because of our bodies, we get sick because we are not living properly, our soul is not living properly, our soul is not fulfilling its life journey properly. Food is a means to get energy for our body to run on, our body is the tool through which our soul is to experience its life’s journey through. We spend so much time and attention on our bodies, yet neglect to give attention to our souls. I say this again, we are not our bodies, we are a soul “trapped” inside of a physical body.
 
If we want to experience true health, if we want to “live” life in “good health”, it is not our bodies we need to focus our energy on, but our soul. Don’t spend hours in the gym, spend the hours exploring the health of your soul; don’t exhaust your mind with calories, nourish your spirituality; don’t set health/fitness goals and targets, increase your giving. Give from your heart your wealth, time, wisdom, love, care, energy and prayers.
 
Kindness and Compassion are not acts, but a state of one’s heart, a state of a healthy heart and a healthy heart reflects a healthy soul…

“Writer's block”, a phrase which is often thrown around, but was is it? Is it a disease, a syndrome, what causes it?
 
Well, in my opinion, there is no such thing as “writer’s block”. Why? Because in my opinion, there is no such thing as a “writer”, or rather there shouldn’t be any such thing as a “writer”. “Writing” is not a profession, it's not a career; it's something to do, it's a tool. Anyone can and does write: the kid in class two up the road writes, the man down at the post office writes, the lady at the mayor's office writes. Anyone and everyone who has been taught how to write words (in any language), writes. It's like saying I use a knife to cut my veg so I am a “Knifer”.
No, I'm not.
 
My point being, the issue is not with writing, the issue is identifying with and restricting one to a tool. One can Author many books and be called an Author yes, but the trouble is, when we let ourselves be defined by an act.
 
The real reason for the “syndrome” known as “writer’s block” is because we have nothing to say; and the main issue is, we are too hell bent in thinking that we have to say something.
 
Well, the truth of the matter is, we need to first experience something within ourselves, within our souls for it to be able to want to say it. And we cannot experience anything if we do not live. Speech is a tool to express our inner feelings, experiences, thoughts and imagination. When one suffers from “writer's block syndrome”, it's not words we have run out of, it's the flow of speech which has nothing left to run off of. Life is the fuel needed for expression. Writing should never be at the centre stage in your life, your Life itself should always be at the centre stage.
 
When we make writing our centre stage and begin to identify with it, we let our words become us and not the means to express us. We force ourselves to want to create something out of nothing. So, writer's block is actually not an inability to write, but our inability to see ourselves past our writings. Our writings are not us, only inspirations that our life has brought to us which we have penned…
 
And this article, an inspiration that my life brought to me…
Much love

Sometimes people think I'm crazy to suggest that a homeopathic remedy may have changed their life, that it has brought them their new job or life partner, or house, etc. (irrespective of whether much may have or may not have noticeably transpired with their actual ‘symptoms’); as if I am a psycho who believes, some tiny white sugar pills (which chemical contain ‘nothing’), hold the power to control the universe. Yes, it can make one sound very delusional indeed, but what is genius if it does not tango with insanity; I am not referring to myself, but rather the idea.
 
The truth is, I'm not saying that the sugar pills contain anything, not least the power to control the universe. What I am saying is: sometimes we need a shift; a nudge in our system; in our being; in our energy. These sugar pills, like many other things, can provide us that shift, that nudge; and then what happens is, we have a change in our frequency, i.e. where we vibrate. When this changes, the energy we were putting out to the universe changes, and with that so does therefore what we attract. Those opportunities were always out there, but we were not calling out to them with our vibrations. Like I say, we are with what we connect. So, we were what we connected with before, and now with this shift thus new frequency, we connect with new things.
 
It's like the lightning bolt phenomenon, lightning does not just randomly "fall" anywhere, no, first there is a tiny spark from the earth’s surface, this attracts the charges in the sky and beckons the lightning to itself; and that is why lightning “falls” where it does. It's no accident. No random incident. The lightning bolt is the answer to a call.
 
There is a reason why they say misery attracts misery; and a smile is contagious - when we smile, in return the world smiles back at us.
 
So yes, I say a small sugar pill which contains ‘nothing’ measurable, can
change one's life immeasurably!
 
Because sometimes all we need is a little nudge to receive the sunshine that has been shining there all along waiting for someone to bask in it!
 

The Air we breathe is proof of why we must have things in our life that we do not necessarily “need”, however without them, we cannot obtain that which we do need; and equally get rid of from our life that which we do not.
 
- Air is made up of 21% Oxygen, Oxygen, something we cannot do without; however, as we know, pure Oxygen will kill us. We need the 78% Nitrogen that is in the air, to allow us to safely breathe in our life-giving Oxygen; equally we need it there to allow us to safely excrete out the poisonous Carbon Dioxide that resulted from our “indulgence” in the Oxygen.
 
Moral of the story is: not only is too much, of even a good thing, a bad thing; but sometimes in life we need the ‘unneeded’ detours in order for us to get to that which we do want or indeed need.
 
Don't underestimate the importance of the “Nitrogen” in your life, it is there to enable the “Oxygen” of your life to get to you; and just like in Air, you will find the ratio of Nitrogen to Oxygen is heavily skewed in favour of the Nitrogen. Every time you get overwhelmed by feeling there is just too much “Nitrogen” spread across as far as you can see, don't worry, it's only a sign that the “Oxygen” is now not too far! Remember the night is always darkest just before the dawn.
 
😉
Best wishes.
MAE.

HOMEOPATHY… Yes the “dreaded” topic of Homeopathy - if it’s all “pseudoscience” and “placebo effects” that people are just getting duped by, or is there actually some "science" here.
 
Well, it’s the elephant in the room; however, it’s not something which, especially in this day and age, should be "dreaded". It really can be understood today like all other “sciences”.
 
The reason why homeopathy always fails at “science” and is unable to “prove” itself is because we are using the WRONG MEASURING STICK!
 
Yes, that is right! It cannot and does not pass any “medical” parameters because it’s not “medical science”. “Medical science” is not the full and complete world of science, “medical science” is just BIO-CHEMISTRY! And Homeopathy is not! Homeopathy is PHYSICS!
 
In his book, The Science of homeopathy, George Vithoulkas, describes experiments that have been conduct that demonstrate that even living things have an energy signature, thus a resonate (natural/optimal) frequency. Now as you may or may not remember from your physics days; when a substance like glass vibrates at its resonate frequency for long enough, due to a musical note for instance, it shatters. This however is not the case with all musical notes brought to it, only the one that matches the glass’s own frequency. Which means that when a wave pattern that matches the substance’s natural frequency meets the substance it cause a bigger reaction in said substance than other frequencies do that do not match; in this case it causes the cells in the substance to move in sync with the sound waves and when they do that for long enough, the inert nature of the solid glass causes the structure to give way and the glass shatters.
 
Now homeopathy works in a similar way. It uses the natural frequencies of things (plants, minerals, animals etc.) and uses this in a way which can optimise conditions for “healing” to take place in a person.
 
So here is where all the problems from the "medical" world come in. The medical world, runs in the realms of biology and chemistry. It uses its knowledge and understanding of human biology and chemistry and tries to apply it to homeopathy, and of course homeopathy cannot come to par with it. They talk about Avogadro’s number, they talk about placebo effect etc. but the problem is not with homeopathy, but how they are thinking about it. Yes in homeopathy the substance is diluted down to beyond any "traceable" particles left in it. But we are not after the particles to begin with; we are not relying on them to induce any effect on the body - that is chemistry where a chemical causes a chemical reaction in a being. We are after the energy signature of the substance to work on the energy signature of the human being we are looking to “treat”; so it matters not to us how much chemical is left in the dilution. We are working upon a very different aspect of the human being entirely. So of course your “medical” test will render homeopathy as placebo, because you are looking at it and trying to decipher it with the wrong tool!
 


I have also heard the argument of, 'we rely on the memory of water to pass on the essence of the substance' be debunked as – if that was the case then everything that ever went into the water would affect us. Well again there are two things here:

Firstly everything emits their energy signature out, but they do it in a very very tiny way, so where it would affect the water around it, the effects of it would be so minute and last for such a short period that it would not even "register".

Secondly, despite it not being a very big output, who is to say that it has absolutely no impact upon us? Like I said it is so minute that to track it would be near impossible, but that does not mean that it may not have any sort of impact upon us. Just take a look at our Marine health, has not the dumping of unnaturally materials caused a devastating impact on our Marine life? Who is to say that all of it is only due to the chemicals it releases and the biological hazard that it causes? One cannot discount that the unnatural materials that are being dumped may also be causing harm from its frequency. Just because it has not been proven yet, does not mean that it can be discounted.
 
Coming back to homeopathy.

Homeopathy uses the natural frequency of the substance and applies the natural law of physics to it – energy can neither be created nor destroyed only transferred. So what a lot of people over look when they talk about the dilutions in homeopathy is the fact that it is not just simply diluted, the substance is also succussed, which is a process where the vile is held in the hand and banged on a hard surface. This agitates the contents. Now as we know from the law of physics stated above, energy can only get transferred, so this energy that we apply to the substance has to go somewhere right? Yes some of it is transferred into kinetic energy, some sound, some heat but some will get stored up for later as potential energy. This energy gets locked away in the energy signatures that is transferred into the water particles.

What would that look like?
 
Energy signature/natural frequency are all wave patterns. Frequency determines the “identity” of the wave, as in terms of music, the note b has a different frequency pattern to the note a, or the light wave which is visible to us as blue light has a different frequency pattern to the light which is visible to us as red, so on and so forth. Now as we see with music, when we give a sound wave more energy, the sound we hear does not change in character, instead gets louder i.e. its amplitude changes; thus by giving it more energy you cannot go from one note to another, you can only make that note louder. Like when we play a flute or recorder for example, blowing more air into the instrument only makes the note louder, to change to a different note we have to change what holes we are “blocking”. So just like this, when an energy signature that is impressioned into the water memory gets given energy through succussions, it increases the energy signature’s strength. This happens every time it is diluted.

If you imagine: you have a very very tiny wave pattern that was emitted from gold, that has been "saved" in the memory of water after tincturing and diluting; now every time it gets succussed, the energy signature does not change, however the energy that is given to it each time, gives it more of a “voice”; so by the time it gets to 30c, it is now “audible” as a tiny beep sound, by the time it gets to 200c it is like a person talking from across the room to us for an hour, by the time it is 10M it is like a person shouting in our faces for 5 days. So as the energy signatures strength increases, how well and how long we hear it for also increases.

SIDE NOTE
However interestingly though, by the time it is in the realms of 50M and CM it is again "inaudible" to us, like a dog whistle; but not because the frequency has changed, as in the case of the dog whistle, but because it is so "loud" that it is un-computable to our “ear”, which is why the effects of 50M and CM are different, but that is a discussion for another time.
 
So you see, Homeopathy and Medical Science are actually not alternatives of each other, they are not even on the same page. They are not "enemies", it’s not one or the other. They are two different things working on very different parts of the human being. Just like a surgeon and a medical doctor are not the same thing, don’t work on the same thing, homeopaths also do not work on the same thing. A surgeon (for the most part) deals with the physical, a medical doctor ( for the most part) the chemical, and a homeopath the energetic.

( DISCLAIMER: I know both the jobs of the medical doctors and the surgeons do over lap and they do have aspects of the others’ skills at their disposal too, this is just a generalised picture to help understand the difference; don’t get held up with nuances, I am not trying to belittle anyone’s job, just simplifying for explanations).

They are all still trying to help the client, but in their own way, in their own department, using their own “tools”. We have to stop looking at the differences and start seeing the common goal here. We are not enemies of one another, we just do and deal with different things.
 
Like an engineer, an architect and a Feng Shui master feel no threat from one another and understand the different roles each play, so too can a surgeon, a medical doctor and homeopath understand, respect and work alongside each other. A homeopath is not much different, in a manner of speaking, to a Feng Shui master – one looks at the energy flow around a person’s environment and the other the energy flow inside of a person.
 
And the big world of Pharma, well that is a whole other story that we may or may not get into sometime…
;)

​Education that takes one away from religion is not in your interest. It actually makes you less smarter not more.
 
This type of education teaches you two and two makes four. And you start believing it. That two and two makes four. Yes you are quite right it does, but what they don't tell you is: 1 & 3 and 0 & 4 also makes 4, as does 5179 take away 5175 also make four!
 
We get too fixated with one concept, one idea, one line of thinking, that we forget all the rest which is just as, if not more important.
 
Allah has created man and woman as a blessing for each other. To find peace and comfort in one another. Allah has made sex a vehicle for this, just like he has made food and shelter also. Just as science would also tell you, Allah has made sex a vehicle for reproduction. But when we focus too much on the vehicle we lose the real plot. A child is not born because you had sex, a child is born because Allah Willed it. Like rain does not fall because there are rain clouds, rain falls if, when and where Allah Wills it; a person does not die because they are ill, a person dies because Allah Wills it; we eat food at the local restaurant not because we can afford it, but because Allah Willed our grains to be there.
 
We get so caught up in the whole two and two makes four that we forget it is not the coming together of the two and two that makes 4 but Allah Who allows it to be.
 
One can try every trick in the book to both become parents or equally to not become parents; but nothing on either side of the spectrum can, does or will work unless Allah Wills it. If you are meant to have 10 children you will have them by hook or by crook, no matter what precautions you may take including even not having sex! If you are not meant to have any (or more than one child say) than no power, no procedure will allow it to be if Allah doesn't Will it.
 
Understanding this most simple truth can change your life. I have hinted at this concept before as well in my Rizq series, But I thought I should indulge in this a bit further.
 
I know one can say I am being “irresponsible” by preaching that having sex does not result in any “unwanted pregnancies”. But it is only “irresponsible” of me if I did not fully believe in this, which of course I do. The question is what do you believe?
 
Do you believe in Allah’s guidance? Do you believe in Allah’s plan? Do you believe in Allah’s Rizq? Because if you did, no pregnancy would ever be “unwanted”!
 
Allah Always, knows and does best.
 
Now if you are not following Allah’s guidance, instead following your desires down a forbidden path, then yes you can and might tag a pregnancy as “unwanted”. If you don’t believe that this is the best thing for you and that Allah always knows and does best, then you might tag it as an “unwanted pregnancy”; but what really is the issue here, the pregnancy or the weakness in your faith? If you worry that you cannot afford to have a baby right now, again what really is the issue, the baby or your lack of belief in Allah’s promise of provisions – Rizq?
 
So you see, it is not the pregnancy that is at fault, but our lack of Iman!
 
I say this because often we are very much unaware of our own shortfalls, our own weaknesses. These things are not here to point fault at anyone, but rather to remind us – all of us, myself very very much included – that we need to look at what actually is the problem, not what we think is the problem; because often it is our own lack of faith and clarity that fools us into passing blame onto something else, where the “blame” actually is not upon that at all.
 
This is an invitation to start looking at things differently; start seeing the shortfalls in our own Iman; start exploring the real truths of the world, not what “Science” teaches us, but what Allah, His Messenger and His Guidance teaches us.
 
Don’t limit your world to two plus two, there are infinite ways of making 4. Unbox your mind.

Back home there is this unsaid rule, this expected norm, that the daughter-in-law that has wed into the family has to mould herself to the family; so much so that she is expected to forego herself completely and become “one” with the fabric of the “susral” – the new wedded home of the girl.
 
Now as much as one can think, “and?”, as in, what is wrong with that; especially someone who has been brought up in an environment where this is the expected norm, there is some very wrong things with this practice.
 
For starters she is an individual human being, with individual: needs, desires, dreams, visions, strengths, methods – everything. Remember no two people are alike. Not even two twins, they both have their own unique personalities. Secondly, asking someone to become something or someone else not only goes against every cell of their being, it also goes against the necessity of life. Life does not need 50 of one identical person, it needs each and every one of those 50 people to be their own unique and individual selves. No one can or should become a carbon copy of someone else. Otherwise Allah SWT would have created one “perfect” specimen of the human race and had us all “cloned”. But that is not the case. Just like each plant, each flower is unique and provides different things, each and every human being is INTENTIONALLY made to be different and unique BY DESIGN! It is necessary! Allah wants us to be exactly who he has made us to be and not forego our unique identity, (and what it is meant to bring) as a result of becoming like someone else. By doing so not only are we not being fair upon ourselves, but we are neglecting to see what gifts Allah Subhan-o-Tala has given us; thus robbing the world of our unique offerings for the would that we are meant to bring.
 
No two people, no matter how similar in personality; no two people, no matter how similar in background; no two people, no matter how similar their life history may have been, are ever actually ever living identical lives. NEVER!
 
So why am I bring this up today? Well, there are two main reasons, firstly as mentioned above the health of the individual person, the “daughter-in-law” that has wedded into a family needs to know and understand this for her own health and sanity; and secondly for the health and wellbeing of the family that she weds into. BOTH are very important; as the age old saying goes: it takes two to tango, or you need two hands to clap.
 
The would-be effects on the health of the daughter-in-law is somewhat easy to understand, how this having to forego oneself and become someone/something else can be detrimental for one’s health – mentally, emotionally and physically, (explained further in lots of my other posts); but the health and wellbeing of the others in the family I think needs some light shined upon as well.
 
We, as the receiving family of a new person into our family, need to understand the importance of allowing the new person coming in, to be themselves; both for their health and for our own. You see, often it is these misguided expectations, when failed to have been met, that cause dis-eases in both our beings and in the fabric of the household. This I’m sure is plain to see, as therefore not being a good thing. Any dis-ease leads to disease; whether of the body of an individual human being, or the “body” of the household – dis-eases in the fabric of the household can lead to diseased relationships! Yes diseases are not confined to just “physical matter”, it can find its way into “invisible” threads, the threads that bind together and create the fabric that holds a “family” together. Without this fabric holding us, we are but individuals living under one roof.
 
Coming back to the point at hand. When a mother-in-law brings in a daughter-in-law and expects her to live her life by the mother-in-law’s rules and ways, then she is setting up the relationship to fail! That is it! Plain and simple, the hard truth! It is a trap laid out by cultural dictates from which there is no escape!
 
Why, why do we expect this? Why do we want this? Why do we think we need this, and that it is the “right” thing that needs to happen?
 
My son already has me. I am his mother. I bring to him, to this family to this world everything that I need to. So why do I think that my son, my family, this world needs someone else to be me? I am not looking for my replacement when I seek a daughter-in-law! It’s not like my secretary who answers my calls is gone so I need a new one to do so. No. I am not looking for, nor do I or my son need a replacement for me. The reason why we try to make someone else live life like we are, or we think it should be lived, or we think our son needs it to be so, is ARROGANCE! We think we are right, we think we are great, we think we have it all figured out, we got it all down. But that is the biggest and most ridiculous lie we are subconsciously telling ourselves and subsequently also believing! We are not the greatest to have ever walked this earth, we have not got ANYTHING figured out, we cannot even open our eyes and see the world without Allah SWT permission!
 
Allah has entrusted us with our children, for us to be there guardian, to be their guide to take care of them because we were the people that they needed AS PARENTS. No one else can be a better mother to my son than me. But equally no one else can be a better son to me than my own son (or daughter of course, it’s not about sons or daughters so let’s not side track).
 
But my daughter-in-law has not been sent to my son to be his mother! Either in kind or in personality. He already has me, dead or alive. I am me for him. Neither does he need more of me, wants more of me, or should have more of me.
 
No. His wife has to be her, herself. She was brought to us because she was the person who was the perfect life partner for my son. She is meant to share and live life with him in only the way that she can. And that includes all: the way that she is, to the way that she wants to live her life, run her home, raise their children etc etc etc.
 
Just like my children are not carbon copies of me, and I never wish for them to be; how can I expect, think, want that my daughter-in-law should be anything like me, do anything like me, agree to anything in life with me. We can be standing either side of the number 6 or 9 and seeing a very different reality. No one’s reality is "better" or "more correct" than anyone else’s! They are just different, but equally true and valid. That is not to say that if she wishes to learn something from me then there is anything wrong with that. But equally I should not be arrogant and think that I cannot learn how to do things her way and see life from her perspective. We are always, and need to always be open to, learning and growing; that is the only way that we can evolve otherwise we stagnate. A desire to learn should always be present in everyone, but remember no true learning can synthesis if it is externally forced. So yes, offering suggestions, recommendations, giving advice is not wrong; what is not appropriate is us expecting that those need to be followed through. Don’t imprison one in to your reality. Allow your realities to be free to sit as close to, or as far apart as they need to, in a healthy honouring way.
 
This all is not just something that I, “the mother-in-law” needs to understand, but my son, “the husband”; my daughter, the “sister-in-law”; my other son, the “brother-in-law”; my husband, “ the father-in-law”; all need to understand! We all create the fabric of family together, so together we all must understand and embrace for the betterment of the overall wellbeing and health of the family. We together make the fabric and together we must open our arms to embrace new threads as they are. They may be of a different raw material, they maybe of a different colour, they maybe of a different weight or thickness, they may induce a change in the tension of the fabric; and to accommodate it all, we all must have a level of “give” to prevent any thread from breaking!
 
I hope it goes without saying that all the above mentioned “people” are fictional and just stepping into these shoes for role play to better understand the matter at hand.
 
All these of course equally apply the other way as well, where the family accepts in a son-in-law into their household. Equally a son-in-law can be made to feel “not good enough”; but not good enough to what??!! Perhaps what you envisioned for your daughter? But we are limited to seeing life only through our own eyes, we cannot see through anyone else’s eyes, (don’t even think about bringing in organ transplant into the discussion here, JUST DON’T). We may think that our daughter needs to live life in a certain way, and no doubt it is most likely nothing short of life like a princess; however, Allah knows and ALWAYS does best.
 
It is hard to see why someone, anyone would need to live a life in “poverty”, hard to see how that would be “best” for them. But in all honesty, we can’t and never will be able to, because we think and feel from our hearts. But that is where faith comes in. That does not mean one has to reside to living a life of hardship, we have to keep praying and trying our best to better our life, but equally not fret too much over the shortfall between our dreams and realities. Remember, life on earth is not our ultimate goal, always keep the bigger picture in mind. It’s like fretting over the cleanliness and facilities at a service station! Um, it’s a service station. You are here to grab gas, maybe some food and use the loo; you are not here to make it into your permanent residence! Sure try to plan to stop at a service station that has maybe got a better track record for cleanliness, has the types of food that can better cater for your needs; but you are not going to go to a service station that is on the border of Scotland if you are trying to go from London to Plymouth (without detours), just because it is a good service station!
 
Not everything we think we want, is actually something that we need!
 
​
So on that note, I hope you got all that you needed, even if it might not be all that you necessarily wanted! ;)


MAE  OUT!

This is Part Two of a Two Part Series... Click here to read part one


​

They say one should work smarter, not harder; but what are we doing in this modern world? Working ourselves to the bone to reach a mirage, how is that smarter? No matter what one may or may not have, the food going into us all gets digested in the same way. You can break and fry an egg and eat it that will cost you 40p or you can eat a deconstructed reconstructed egg for £90, NOTHING WILL CHANGE! Either way all you ate was an egg, either way how it will get digested in your body is the same, either way what the body will get is carbohydrates proteins and fats from it.

In fact, actually in truth you probably will lose some nutrients in the process of the deconstruction and reconstruction and probably your body may have had to work a little bit harder to digest this twice processed egg. So in truth, you worked harder and paid more to actually get less nutrition and probably lost more nutrients from your body in the process for achieving the opportunity to eat the deconstructed reconstructed egg; so in actual fact you were better off just eating a “normal” fried egg earned for in a more “normal” way.
 
Another thing, one might say: oh but you cannot compare the taste, the £90 one tastes so much more different and better; you are paying for the taste, the experience etc etc.. Really! Go and ask any Chef, no matter how innovative, crazy and experimental, they will all tell you their favourite food is that of their childhood, cooked by their mother or grandmother. Taste does not come from ingredients, but from the hands of the person cooking it and no one can put more love in a meal than a mother or grandmother, thus no meal can taste better for anyone than that cooked by their own mother, because she is not feeding you food, but love.

No matter who anyone is, how they cook, what they like to eat, all anyone is ever trying to do is replicate the taste of their mother’s cooking; but this is not something that can be bottled and sold, because what makes that food what it is, is a sentiment.

Don’t believe me, well Oobah Butler, a journalist at Vice Magazine, indirectly proved this very phenomenon to us with his The Shed at Dulwich; that it’s not the actual food, but our perception of it all that makes us think something is more than it is; or conversely think something is less than it is. Ambience, presentation, cost, accessibility all deceive our senses into convincing us that what sits in front of us is so much more than it actually is. However, in truth as mentioned above, in reality it is probably less due to all the processing that it under goes; or in the case of Oobah’s restaurant, it is probably a pic of shaving cream and his foot, or that which sits in front of you is a plate of food from Iceland!

 

We need to distil our thinking.


 
Money does not equate to Rizq, we need to understand this. If you are meant to have only 5 grains of rice today that is all that you can have, no matter what you do you cannot change this. The reasons why someone has only 5 grains of rice can and may differ. For example: a person can only have the 5 grains because he is too poor to have any more; another can only have 5 grains because he is too sick to have any more; some other because he could only steal away 5 grains; another might only have 5 because they are dieting; one might have 5 because that is all that they are hungry for; yet a different person maybe only eats 5 because that is all they have time for and yet another perhaps only has 5 grains because they are in a fine dining restaurant that serves tiny portions! So you see, “wealth” cannot determine Rizq! They are not two of the same! The Rizq that is written for us is written, and nothing can change that. How Allah has our 5 grains packaged and parcelled to us may differ, but the quantity cannot increase just because someone may appear to have “more wealth”.
 

Now this does not mean that I am saying one should just sit lazily at home and not make any effort from their own part thinking my Rizq is fixed anyway so why should I struggle, it will get to me I don’t have to make any effort on my own part. No, that is not true.

Again let’s look at the packaging I mentioned above. The reality we live in, how much effort we put in, all make a difference on the packaging. The poor man will eat the same, but perhaps feel an emotional hunger stemming from the thought that if he had more wealth he could have had more grains of rice. The dieting person may feel emotional pains of hunger, thinking perhaps if I didn’t need to diet I could have eaten more to my satiety. The thief, likely maybe suffering from morality hunger, where his lack of morality is leading him to steal rather than work for his 5 grains. Whereas on the other spectrum, the person who only had hunger for 5 grains may feel satiated naturally, but the sick man may feel “health hunger”. The rich man, may be full on his ego and feel satiated from that rather than the actual meal; and the man rushing round probably is too hungry for time and may not even notice what food has or has not gone into his stomach. So you see, life is how we paint it for ourselves.

What we need to be is a “grateful man”, one that is not hungry for something nor full on other things. One that can see that Rizq is from Allah SWT and that HE is providing me today what I need for today, however it can be or is packaged is not that important, because if I can fill my image with the right colours, then the package can change.
 
So how do we fill our image with the “right” colours? What are the right colours? Are there only one set of “right” colours?

This is where it comes back to understanding that Rizq and earthly wealth are not connected.

Rizq and work are not connected. Do in life (as in your "work") that which you want to do, be in the world how you want to be, because that is how you wish to be. Don’t do things thinking: will this be a stable source of income for me? Disconnect from the idea that Rizq is dependent on work. When you start living life how you want to (so long as it does not go against or take you away from Allah's guidance), start doing things that you want to, then you will start enjoying life, irrespective of how much worldly wealth you may have, irrespective of how much Rizq you have.
 
Rizq goes beyond just grains of food or money in the bank. Rizq is a concept that is far greater. From provisions to facilities, from places to experiences, Rizq encompasses all the amenities that enable life; grains of food are just easy to wrap our heads around so it is easier to use as an example to explain the concept, but it is not limited to it.
 
So the thought(s) that prevailed from my epiphany is:
*Don’t confuse more money with more Rizq.
*More members of the family working does not equate to more Rizq.
*More members of the family working does not mean more comfort, on the contrary it means more struggle and strain on the family, because you have to pay for it in other ways that are most likely more harmful and detrimental for the overall wellbeing of the family and its members. *There is nothing wrong with a woman working, but wanting to become a breadwinner at the expense of being a mother is not healthy (again referring to “normal” household, not that of single mothers or of those that are supporting ill husbands). Sure women can work, but not with the intention to “provide”, but rather because they want to do something on the side for themselves, for their personal growth– this is important because when work is something they do for “themselves” on the side, it does not take “centre-stage” in their life.
*For men on the other hand, work is something that is “centre-stage” in their life so it should be something that they enjoy, not something that they feel is “a better bet” for getting a good stable income – this is important because coming back to the Rizq packaging, the Rizq is fixed and pre-determined, so regardless of what they do, they will get the same amount of Rizq, so one might as well do something that they enjoy that can become a means for Allah SWT to bestow one’s Rizq through, rather than do something that they do not enjoy, because this will then determine how that Rizq is packaged for us and therefore how that will be received by us – i.e. will our soul feel satiated by it, or will it feel any type of “hunger” due to it.
 
Its comes back to what I have talked about previously – “unframing”, in my Finding Gratitude Post. Everything in our life is dominos all lined up, what and how we face each one does not matter. It does not change the domino and what it is meant to do, regardless of whatever frame and colour we superimpose on to it.
 
See life for what it is unfiltered and unframed.
 
How we experience life, is up to us, not what will happen in our life.
 
How we frame life, defines our journey, how we experience each frame, narrates our story; but neither can or does change its destination…
 
 
 
Wishing you all Peace and Blessings.

This is Part 1 of a 2 Part series.



I just had an insight today; it’s not really anything new per say, but what has changed is the depth of my understanding of it.
 
We have all heard growing up in the Muslim world that Rizq ( loosely interpreted as your income/livelihood/food) comes from Allah SWT. We all understand this, accept it, repeat it and often have faced instances of astonishment of say: how we thought one food was for one individual, but the “name” on those grains actually belonged to another. We have marvelled at this and many more such miracles of Allah SWT when it comes to Rizq. But we still often fail to understand and accept that Rizq and work are not connected.

It is often seen that our “work” is the primary source through which Allah SWT provides Rizq, but that does not mean that that is the only avenue; and that this means is necessary to get Rizq. No, not at all. This is where we are often misguided and confused, often without even knowing and realising that we are so.

For example: sometimes we get things that we needed or wanted as a gift from someone, or we go to someone’s house and we eat a meal with them, or someone surprises us with a box of chocolates or sometimes we get more for our money - like in a sale. These are all examples of where Allah SWT is providing us our Rizq through avenues other than our “work”.
 
Just like Allah SWT has created one frequent avenue that He provides us offspring through, He has a route that He favours as an avenue for Rizq; but it is important to understand: neither offspring, nor Rizq are dependent on the route! One has a child not because of any physical actions of the human beings, but because Allah SWT Wills it AND that is it! There is no room for dispute, but only if we could see this, (to read more on this, read my "unbox your mind" article). Equally we get, and will continue to get the Rizq that we are meant to get, irrespective of what route(s) it may come from.
 
Now this is an understanding that I have held for some time, however, today the epiphany that came to me in regards to this was furthermore fascinating…
 


Often we think: we need more money, quite a normal widespread thought I’m sure; and often we think the remedy to this problem is, “earn” more through more work. So often as a family we think, if one spouse is working and we are getting X amount, then to get more, the second spouse should work. This will mean then the household income is X + Y taking the household income to now Z.
 
Simple maths right?
Or is it??
Now that is the question, and a question that is very powerful.
 
We think life is simple where X+Y= Z, so where X was not sufficient to meet our “needs” in a way where we had left over income to do “more” with, now having X+Y= Z, will now give us Y as an “extra” for the "more".
 
Logically one thinks this makes perfect sense. BUT, what we do not factor in is, that to allow Y to be, there is a cost as well! So Where X+Y=Z  may be giving us “more” income, originally x was the only out going we needed to meet when only X was the income. Now we have an added expense that has come due to Y, ‘y’. So now, our outgoing that we have to meet is no longer x, but rather x+y=z! SO what does that all mean in simple English?!

Well, simply put:
The net Rizq we have now is still the same as before, despite more physical money moving around.

The moral of the story: to increase one’s income maybe easy, but to increase one’s Rizq is a whole other matter; because as I said above, real Rizq and work are not actually connected.

One can increase the physical pennies coming into the household, but if your Rizq does not go up from Allah, those pennies will not “stay” with you. It is not how many people work in a household, it is not how much income one gets or not, because, real Rizq is not confined to money.
 
By having more members of the family work, all one is doing is splitting the actual house’s Rizq across the different people, not increasing it! THINK ABOUT THAT FOR MINUTE, DEEPLY!
 
Do you understand truly what that means? What that is saying?
 
You are still getting the same amount of Rizq, but working harder for it as a family! Therefore you end up not only paying for it through your own healths, but also the wellbeing of your whole family.
 
THINK ABOUT THAT!
 
By letting go of the guidance and practices that Allah SWT has set for us we are making ourselves diseased. Diseased in heart, mind, health and family. Allah guides us that the man should be the breadwinner in the house and the women should look after the next generation. But in the modern world, women feel that they should be given “equal” opportunity to be the breadwinner.

Now we must understand here the difference between “working” and being a “breadwinner”, they are two very different things! One is not necessarily a breadwinner just because they are working!


The difference is our understanding, or lack thereof, between working and being a breadwinner. They are not two of the same things.

You see the biggest difference between the two comes from what each means, one is a responsibility, the other is an act.
 
The problem is not with "work" itself or even having wealth or an income, the problem arises when the woman is put in a position where she has to chose between being mother to her children or working. Again I feel this is another concept that has been muddied and confused.
 
What does it actually mean to be a mother. What does it mean to be a mother to the children. It does not mean cooking, cleaning, feeding bathing etc.. No.

No, the most important “job” of a mother is to give Tarbiyat to the next generation.

What is Tarbiyat – now for those that do not know this word, loosely translated, Tarbiyat is giving guidance. Giving moral, social, spiritual, mental and emotional guidance/education. This is not something that is to be taken lightly. This is not something that can be done on the fly. This is not something that can or should be taken as a bolt on, an afterthought, a when we have time thing. It is something that needs to be purposeful, which requires presence of mind, clarity, commitment and time. This is the most important fundamental job of a mother’s role, not just for the household, but in and for society.

The biggest problem with the woman having to be or become a breadwinner is, that when she has to shoulder that responsibility, than she cannot shoulder this responsibility properly. We may have two shoulders, but at any one time they can only shoulder one thing properly.

This is not to say that this is impossible.

Of course it is possible to do both, I have a living example of this before my own eyes, but one must point out also, that those are rare cases where the mother has had to shoulder both responsibilities, and that these women that do shoulder both are not career driven, or feminine rights activists!

No, these women who have had to work, to be the breadwinner for the family, have worked for the sake of income; not for the sake of working. There is a big difference.

Women who work because they want to work are a different breed to those that have to work because they are the only one who can be a breadwinner for their family. The reason why I say this is because, those that want to work will prioritise their work in their outlook on life, they will make long term decisions based on their work and career, contrasting to those that work because they are having to be the breadwinner, they will make sacrifices in their field of work/"careers" for the sake of their family’s needs.

(DISCLAIMER: these are just generalised scenarios presented only to explain the points at hand, not concrete judgments passed on any individual. I do not hold any stereo types against people, I know everyone is unique and individual, and each person’s story, situation and personality is different. Please do not get held up on examples that I am only using to explain the bigger picture.)
 
Back to the difference between “working” and being a breadwinner. There is nothing wrong with women working and earning; what is not right (in normal situations) is this work transforming into being a breadwinner role (where it is not necessary). Because when that happens the other responsibility, her real responsibility, has to be side-lined. This then is what causes moral and social problems widespread in society and we find a society that is running on over drive trying to achieve something that they themselves do not even know is what.
 

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Men are designed to be breadwinners, that is their God given role in life, literally! A man’s role is not to be the one to give Tarbiyat. They are not designed for this role. That is why you will find men, especially in the west, can do the household chores; but what they struggle to do is be a "mother" to the children; a true mother. Because as stated above, a mother’s real job is not to manage house logistics, but rather to nurture healthy human beings in its truest sense, something which comes from maternal: instincts, intuition, insights and sensitivity.
 
We need to use the right tool for the right jobs; men are given the role to protect and provide so that the mother can be free from concern for these things and give her time to raising the next generation properly. This is how Allah has created our partnership to be for the betterment of humanity. This is why, if a women wants to work there isn’t an issue as such, the issue arises when she takes on the masculine role of being a breadwinner, which induces a silent silencing of the maternal energy. The role of breadwinner has a masculine trait and brings forth characteristics that stir up masculine energy. When this is sought after by women this throws out the delicate balance of the yin and yang energy both in oneself, the family and society as a whole.

A woman who is “self-sufficient” does not need a man to be "a man" for her, instead needs just a person to be next to her. So the relationship goes from a man holding the wife (and family) in an invisible embrace as a human shield, to a man just holding the wife’s hand, as “equals”; the latter being a weaker link because the need of him is also weaker. As with anything weak, they cannot stand the test of time, thus we end up with broken homes, societies and humanity!
 
Allah’s system is perfect by design. Don’t fight it. Understand the wisdoms in it. Embrace the guidance, even if you do not understand it.
 
Women have been given a very important role by Allah, thus the Jannat (Heaven) under their feet! Do not compromise this role for a mirage. More does not equate to more. The husband has been given the responsibility to be the breadwinner, trust that whatever Rizq you are meant to have, need to have, you are getting it. The wife does not need to work for you to have more Rizq. If you are meant to have more Rizq, that Rizq will find you. Like the Angel of Death will find us no matter where we hide, our Rizq will find its way to us no matter upon which Mountain we may reside!
 
What we need to do to increase Rizq is not work more or try to earn more, but instead, give more, be more and live more. What does that mean. Give more in charity, this comes back to us Ten Fold, that is Allah Promise; and not just our money, but time, energy, love and knowledge. Be more grateful, truly grateful and thankful to Allah SWT for whatever HE has given us, is giving us and will give us. Most importantly, do not underestimate the power of Duas, both your personal duas, duas that others give you and duas that are recommended to read by our Prophet. These are the real ways that we can increase our Rizq. And remember Rizq is not confined to money or food. It is also how we are living our life. The more we actually live our life, truly live, the more comfort we will find in it, as we will no longer be fighting life, no longer be trying to achieve a mirage, we will finally be fully embracing and indulging in each moment of life and accept each moment and seeing each moment in its full glory.


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Read Part 2 for the Conclusion of this Series... Click here to read part two.

We when talk about learning and growing. It is important to understand that this growth that happens is not dependent on outside resources. We do not have missing pieces that we need to gather to "complete" us. The growth happens from within us. It's a shift, a change that takes place within us. We have always had the potential of the growth that we go through within us.
 
My writings are my reflections and opinions only, based on my experiences and understanding of life and my studies of the various arts and practices of various disciplines of healing, welfare and life.
 
I don't believe in labels! I don't believe in there being a need to classify, categorise and quantify things. We live in a multi-dimensional world, we are multiple-dimensional multi-faceted beings, so why this obsession with liner qualifications and quantifications? Why do we need to see how we measure up to anything? There is only one of us; there ever was and ever will be only one of us. So why? Why I ask are we trying to reduce ourselves, our abilities, our quality to a small number of finite qualities that an observer can relate another person to us with; whom they know, recognise and understand - why aren't we insisting that they get to know us by getting to actually know and understand US? Yes we are human; we will have similarities with someone somewhere or rather lots of someones somewhere, but we are not them, and they are not us! And why do we have to reduce ourselves to be marketed with just those minute qualities? We are so much more than just those handful of traits. Why are we allowing ourselves to be measured against someone else, we will never ever measure up! Just like no one can do ME better than ME, I can never be someone else better than them themselves. ITS NOT POSSIBLE! And more importantly why should I be them when I can be me? I am meant to be me, I have been sent to earth to be me, not anyone else; so why are we wasting time comparing one another to each other. No one else can do what I have been sent here to do. No one else can do what you have been sent here to do. So stop trying to become someone or somebody. Just be. Live and breathe each moment authentically and connected with your soul. That is all that you need to do. Listen to your inner voice, your inner calling, your gut feeling and just do. Don't try, think, force; just be.
 
When we talk about being present that is what it means to be present in each and every moment. Live in and out of each moment through your soul.
 
Your Ego has been developed on your journey here, but your Ego is supposed to be at service to your soul, not be the boss of your soul. These insecurities described above of needing to quantify and measure up, are the product of the Ego. The soul is not insecure. The soul knows exactly who it is and what it's meant to do. The Ego on the other hand, born in and of this world, feels it needs to preserve itself, thus acts out of this need. The soul is not of this world. It feels no threats of this world; it knows both its purpose on Earth and the purpose of Earth. The soul is never lost, but it can and does often get silenced. In order for us to reconnect with it we need to silence the Ego. When we discover and experience the Majesty of Allah SWT and HIS creations, it humbles us and puts our ego in its place. This then allows us to find the silence we need to hear our soul and connect with it once more.
 
To connect with life and the world we must first connect with ourselves, our soul.
 
Connect.
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Often people will go to a homeopath and ask can homeopathy treat my diabetes; or can you fix my blood pressure; or can you give me something to help my arthritis, etc etc. And the answer is that we don't treat diseases; we help individuals with their individual timelines.
 
Disease doesn't just happen, your body doesn't just suddenly break down one day, or suddenly start pumping more blood or forget how to regulate your blood sugar. No, diseases set in because of dis-eases we face.
 
When we face any disturbance, any adversity we are either able to face it there and then and resolve it, or we are not; and even sometimes when we are able to resolve it, it still leaves a deep lasting imprint on our soul. For example the classic rubric of Aconite: fear of fright still remains; which means even though the fright we got has passed, it's impact still lives on within us – we are living in fear of that fright still. We are either living in fear directly still of that fright or of receiving similar frights like it which is haunting our subconscious mind. So until this “fear of fright” is not dealt with. we will continue to have this deep imprint have a lasting effect on our daily lives.
 
You see, diseases are but few, but the reasons one gets them are very diverse in comparison! 20 people can have diabetes but each may have got it because of a different reason, so for each of those 20 people a different remedy may be needed to help with their ailment of diabetes. So when you look at diseases in this way, only then can one understand why a homeopath says: no, they cannot and do not treat “diseases”. We have to go back and look at your history and see what was the original dis-ease that was un-dealt with that led you down to this “diseased state”; and is there currently a ‘maintaining cause’ that is keeping the diseased state so active right now?
 
Sometimes people will say “oh but I feel fine, I don't feel stressed, I feel healthy, it's only my blood pressure that is off, but I'm fine”. How can you be "fine" if your blood pressure is up? Your blood pressure is not a separate entity to you, it is your body speaking to you - the subconscious trying to communicate its discomfort(s) to the conscious mind. Those people that think: I'm perfectly fine and 'healthy', I only have this one little thing; are actually in denial. They are just kidding themselves that they are 'fine'. Our body does not lie. As my beloved professor said: how we fall sick tells us about who we are. We do ourselves no favours by being in denial about what is going on in our life. We are only kidding ourselves and also only harming ourselves through this denial. Whether we want to admit to our discomforts or not, does not stop them from existing on within us. Whether we face our 'demons' head on or not, does not affect anyone else. We are doing ourselves no favours by pretending we are "fine", when our body clearly is telling us there is some energy that is still impacting our soul which needs “clearing”.

Some people say they have never been well since a flu or a fall, well then we need to go back and look at what was going on for you at the time of this flu or fall. Sometimes people say I'm really healthy I never get sick, I have not had a flu in decades; I hear that and think: and you think you are healthy!?! Life is constantly hitting us with adversities, if one throws a high fever that is actually a sign of a strong vital force, if one is not able to throw off the adversities through an acute that means there is a lot going on under the radar that you are not realizing, especially when one has any chronic illnesses.
 

The problem is our very definition of health is skewed.
 
We think of having a flu as a sign of having poor vitality and health, yet think nothing of suffering from hay fever every year. We think hay fever is not an "illness"; not a sign of “poor health”; it's just "allergies", it's not just “allergies”! Hay fever is a sign of unprocessed grief, whether our own or passed down generationally to us! We think of arthritis as just something which happens to everyone as they age, it's not "bad health" it's just aging. We think maybe if we eat better and exercise we can delay the onset but that is about it, but this is not true.
 
Arthritis, like diabetes; Parkinson's; eczema; hay fever etc. are all caused because of disturbances within our vital force (our “life force”). Every time adversities hit us, they change how and where we vibrate; whether the change in our vibration is short lived or long, depends on the strength of our vital force, our ability of dealing with the adversity and the scale of the adversity. Sometimes we can clear it completely and sometimes we cannot even budge it a little; so we continue to live on with this adversity living on within us, resulting in us not vibrating at our optimum, rather now continuing to vibrate at this new "normal" frequency. Sometimes we can shift the majority of it, but still a part remains, which prevents us from fully returning to our optimum.
 
Now I must point out over here that having an adversity live on or it's effects live on is not the same thing as learning and growing from an experience, whether "good" or "bad". Growth is positive; remnants of adversity living on within our being and preventing us from vibrating optimally is not. One is learning from the experience, the other is becoming stagnant by it; and often this is on a subconscious level so we are often not even aware of this being the case. This is where diseases are "handy". They tell us where we are “stuck”; that the energy is not free flowing within us.
 
Don't be afraid of or ashamed of what your body is telling you, it's communicating with you because it too wants to get "better". It too wants to get back to vibrating at its optimum. Our body want to "heal" and it needs you to help it. You can take all the remedies under the sun, all the treatments in the world; but if you are resisting the "healing", they cannot help you. On the flip side: if you open yourself to "healing", you can actually "heal" yourself without any aids too, just be listening to what your body is telling you and then dealing with it!
 
The power to "heal" always resides within us, each of us, all the time; we just need to come to the realization that the only one stopping us from healing is us ourselves. Don’t build a wall of denial around your dis-ease, locking it up will not stop its effects on you; remove it from you!