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MY Soapbox

How we live life, and not what life we live, is where the choice is.

13/6/2022

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AUTHOR:
MAE

An experience is just that, an experience. It has no flavour to it. We, ourselves; our ego; is what attaches flavours to any experience.
 
When one knows this, they do not even need to go and "reframe" it to change the flavours "to help us help ourselves". Just knowing that the flavour is not a part of the actual experience itself, but our personal input; our framing; our ego's choice of lens, that is giving it any flavour whatsoever, then we can let go of whatever flavour we may think an experience has, for it is not real; merely just a projection.
 
Allah brings us to experiences as we need those exact experiences in our life in some way or another. Sometimes those experiences relay very quickly why we needed them; other times they relay in many years to come; and sometimes we may never realise why a certain experience was necessary for us. But this is where we need to have faith. We need to understand and believe every experience is elementary. Allah Pak has already told us not one thing HE has created or does is unnecessary. Every single thing has a need, for if it was surplus or excess Allah Pak would not order it to be. Every interaction we have with every human being; every word we exchange; is elementary. We do not stay one minute less or one minute more in any place or conversation than absolutely necessary. There are no accidents; there are no coincidences; there is nothing that has not been crafted perfectly by the Order of Allah SWT. Everything is planned and executed to beyond precision by Allah SWT, THE BEST PLANNER, THE ALL KNOWING, THE ETERNAL! ALLAH-O-AKBER ALLAH-O-AKBER ALLAH-O-AKBER!!! LA I LAHA IL LAL ALLAH!!
 
Allah SWT has told us that all the humans that ever were and are ever going to be, all of their roohs (souls) have all already been created all at once. They all have been kept in Aalam-e-Arwah. Yet you and I have not been sent down to earth until now, nor kept till later why?? Because we were not meant to be here before, we were not needed before. No one soul will visit earth at a time that is not exactly perfect for that soul and for all the other souls that they are meant to interact with. No one soul will ever leave a minute too soon, nor a minute too late from earth or anyone's company. We stay in any one place, company or upon earth itself for exactly the perfect time that we needed to. Don't just say "Inna lillahi wa Inna elaihi rajioon", truly truly understand what it means!
 
Don't let your ego let you fool yourself into thinking you are anymore than that which you are. It is Shaitan trying to colour every experience with flavours through your ego, so to make you lost from the truth. The truth is the experience, you will live it no matter what. Take off the lens of your ego and you will see that you were the one colouring the experience with flavours; the experience is not tied with, nor needs flavours. Shaitan convinces us to put on these coloured lenses which bring flavour to any experiences, because then it distracts us from seeing the experience itself, as we are too consumed by the flavour we have attached to it; be it good or bad. Don't let Shaitan distract you with his game of lenses and flavours. Break free from his hold and see the truth, the experience, with pure clarity for what it truly is. Shaitan uses these coloured lenses and flavours to control our "nafse", take back control of your "nafse".

The lenses are the thoughts that come and go out of our minds. Thoughts induce feelings inside of us - this is "the flavour" that comes as a result of the "lens that we put on". We cannot control our thoughts; we cannot stop them coming into our minds; but we can stop ourselves from clinging on to them and the flavours they bring and understand that they are not explicitly part of the experience itself. If we can see clear as day that the flavours are superimposed on any and every experience by us and that they are not inherently of and from the experience itself, then we can objectively be in and see all experience we experience and not take things so personally. This then allows us to live a more "healthier" life, filled with a lot more faith in Allah's plan and less resistance to it, as well as less worry and stress pinned with either, past present or future experiences. Its allows us to see the bigger picture and be less phased by any curve balls life may throw at us. When you know that every experience, good or bad, is essential and has been perfectly crafted and timed for you, for what you need for your future to be; then you become much more at ease with all experiences, not letting yourself be carried away with any emotional waves.

Your path has already been set, but the journey you take on said path has been left for you to choose. You can let your emotions allow you to suffer along with the pains or you can choose not to suffer despite of pain. Its our choice. 


Peace and Love to you all. May Allah Help you find your inner "zen".

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Navigating Healing, My Journey With Depression Laid out bare

4/6/2022

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AUTHOR:
MAE

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Over the past couple of decades I have suffered from depression several times, sometimes very severe and other times less so, but suffer I did nonetheless. On several occasions I used Homeopathy to “cure” my depression and “cure” it it did, or so I thought, until now. Surely the cloud of depression dissipated and I managed to get on better with my day to day life. But as life rolled on so did with it the cloud of depression roll on back in. Every time I took Homeopathy for it I did feel as though I had “healed” from it and most likely I did heal from said depression. As a homeopath would describe it, that layer that had formed had gotten removed. But had I actually really cured my depression? If it keeps coming back, even though in different forms as the remedies needed displayed, can I truly say I have cured it?
 
Let’s take a closer and deeper look at this shall we…
 
Yes clinically the depression I was suffering from in all the different occasions each time cleared with homeopathy, but the question is: why if I have cleared the layer of depression does it keep coming back? Do I just have a depressive personality? Do I have a depression tendency? Or it is just the ups and downs of a depression patient as an allopathic practitioner would tell you. Or is it the maintaining cause as a homeopath would say?
 
Well, let’s explore my life from a bird’s eye view a little for some perspective.
 
Each time I went into depression, was because of certain triggers; then I would take homeopathy, which helped me come out of it. But then what did I do after coming out of it? Did I remove the trigger from my life? Did I change how I reacted to the trigger to prevent the same consequences? Did I change my life in any way to prevent the trigger from being a trigger and still triggering me. The answer, as any one may easily guess, to all of these questions is “NO”. I did not remove the trigger; I did not change my reaction to the trigger; nor did I change myself in any way to prevent the trigger from being a trigger. Thus, it’s no surprise really that I kept going back into depression. The flavour of the depression may have been different each time, but that is about all that truly had changed over these past two decades…
 
Here in lies the problem. I did not learn anything from my depression…
 
I was on a boat on a stormy sea, I fell into the water, somehow I managed to pull myself back up on to my boat, but what did I do then? I did not complete the journey, I did not change how I handled the storm, so all I kept doing was falling back into the sea and rescuing myself over and over again. There was no progress. Thus I came to realise this now: I keep getting thrown overboard into the stormy sea, because I keep doing the same things again and again; I am not learning from my mistakes; I am not progressing in any direction on my journey, just staying stuck.
 
This is not healing myself; this is not curing myself; this is still symptom management.
 
After deep reflection I have come to the understanding that merely removing the triggers (or trigger people) from ones’ life is also not true healing, that is just being an ostrich – how many people is one to “run away from”? We cannot run and hide away from our problems. It is not the people that is the problem, but us with not being able to “cope” with the problem being present to us by these triggers.
 
I’ll explain it in another way: why is it that certain character types; or certain traits; or certain habits of people trigger us? Are they really the worse traits on earth? Are they really the only bad traits? Are they the same traits that trigger everyone else as well? NO.
Every person gets triggered by different things. Sometimes the things that trigger us might not be the worst possible traits on earth, but they still trigger us. Sometimes there may be some other traits that we do feel are also bad, maybe even just as bad as our triggering ones are, but we don’t get triggered by them. Why?
 
It is because of our history. What we have been through, who we are, what our belief systems are that determine what triggers one and what does not. Any trait that triggers us in any way is because of us and not the trait itself. The problem is not with one trait or the other, but within us. [That is not to say that its ok to have bad traits; or that an evil act per say should not be condemned; or that it can be pardoned. Just because it is not the actual act itself, but what it does to us because of our history, that is causing us a problem does not make the bad actions O.K. NO. By no means is this an excuse for any wrong doers to keep doing their wrongs. NO. Bad traits or evil acts are not excusable and the perpetrators have to be accountable for their ill doings, which they will be to ALLAH SWT. This matter being discussed here is not about them or their actions. This matter is about us and us getting triggered.]
 
Again let me explain this in another angle.
 
If act 1 triggers us but not act 2, why does act 2 not trigger us? They are both equally bad. Why can we “tolerate” or brush past act 2 but not act 1, despite our condemning both acts equally. It’s because somewhere deep inside act 1 has hit a nerve of ours and act 2 has not. So why has act 1 hit a nerve and not act 2? The answer to this question can only be found in our story of life. Sometimes we can find this answer with relative ease, other times maybe even deep psychotherapy might not be able to reach that far into our core. But the question is, do we need to reach the this answer or have we already reached an answer that is sufficient to proceed with remedying the situation? Does it matter what in our history made this nerve active? Is the solution not still to make it un-active? Yes if we can pinpoint it great it may help break the cycle sooner however, even if we don’t, it does not mean that the cycle itself cannot still be broken. Therefore whether we can deduce exactly the moment and incident that activated this nerve or not is neither here nor there, the point is to understand that said actions hit said nerves. Now what needs to be done is our neural pathways need to be rewritten to prevent us from going down the same neural pathways and hitting said nerve.
 
Is that even possible I hear you ask? Yes it really is. Our brains are not fixed, new neurons can be created and new pathways laid, but we have to actively chose to walk a different path and not let us keep slipping down the same pathways.
 
How can this be done? Well the first and most important step is to recognise that this needs to be done; for we cannot chose to walk a different path if we do not realise that it is our default path wherein the problem lies. Once this has been understood and our triggers identified then comes the long hard uphill slog of actively choosing a different path to set into our brains. But it is actually not as difficult as it may sound! It just calls for persistence.
 
Understanding ourselves is quite useful in this, if we can understand what part exactly about our trigger is causing us suffering then we can work backwards and teach ourselves not to let that take hold upon us. Like pointing a torch upon the shadows in the dark can relieve us from any fearful thoughts; pinpointing that it is (for example) the lack of ones’ freedom, felt from the others’ dominating and controlling nature, that is causing ones’ suffering can then give rise to the idea for creating a space and place for ones’ freedom.
 
We cannot change or control another’s actions; a dominating person will continue to try and dominate that is their personality, we cannot change it, but one can change how the others’ action affects them. By understanding that one craves their freedom which is being challenged and robbed through said actions which is affecting one negatively, they now have a better chance to fight for it. That does not mean a literal fight, but more a stand against the injustice.
 
It always helps to know what we are fighting for; what chance do we have in a fight we do not know we are in?
 
Once one has identified where the problem with a certain trait lies for them, then every time that trait presents itself they have to actively choose a different course of action to prevent the suffering that they feel from it, (for example, using the above scenario: refusing to be ruled by and dictated upon by another persons’ insecurities or ideals, being ok to set in boundaries and being content by them being placed, restores a space and place for ones’ freedoms). Do this enough times that it becomes second nature and hey presto the trait no longer presents itself as a problem for us, despite the trait itself still actively co-existing with us.
 
So you see, it is not just merely recovering from a fall that one needs to do, they need to heal and seal – recover, learn and grow from said fall so to not repeat it again in order for them to actually be cured from the fall.
 
 
Complete the journey of every challenge life presents to you. Don’t stay stranded in the middle of the sea; for if you stay stranded, I promise you, you will just keep staying stranded. There are no rescue boats upon these seas; there are no heroes in these stories; this is your life’s journey and you can only keep moving forward in it if you so choose to do so, otherwise you will keep re-living the same mistakes over and over again – like being trapped in a time loop. Let’s truly heal from our trauma and cure ourselves from them.
 
 
Don’t run from yours triggers, learn and grow to co-exist with them in peace, that’s is where true healing lies.


MUCH, MUCH LOVE TO YOU ALL,
Meher Andleeb Eqbal
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thoughts that actioned the actions

17/1/2022

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AUTHOR:
MAE

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As people we are always learning, growing and evolving all the while still living life.

Life happens around us and we happen around life and together we co-exist in a sort of dance where we bend and twirl, shuffle and twist while we co-exist in this space of ever vibrant and volatile energy.

I am sure those who have been following my story for a long time, whether here on this web space, or via a more personal connection, you will already be witness to how my life has evolved over the years. This of course keeps going on and will keep going on for as long as I exist, I will dance my weird and qwerky dance with life for as long as life has me here.


So what’s the new rhythm that life has me bobbing on these days I hear you ask?
 
Well it’s a tune that’s been playin’ on my mind for some time now. It has surfaced a few times earlier in my life as well, but for the last two years it has definitely been playing in the background of life for me.
 
So let’s go a little further back in time shall we, in the famous words of Timon from Lion King 1 ½ “We’re going way back… to before the beginning”
 
So let's go to before “the beginning” so to speak.
 
I have always had a little “issue” let say to start off with, with social media.
 
This obsession people have with posting pics of their meals, never really sat well with me, both on a social/personal level as well as a more religious and spiritual level. Then there are the pics of themselves here there and everywhere, it’s quite a self-obsessed act if one thinks about it. Not to mention all the random totally unnecessary “updates” that, no one needs to know; wants to know; or should know. Along with all the inappropriate one as well: both on a social level; personal boundaries level; as well as a privacy level. And let’s not even get started on the point blank wrong posts which are nothing but down right mean, full of bullying and abuse. I mean the fact that I even have to write it is just wrong! It should never exist, yet we all know what society is like. If anything social media has actually given rise to this type of behaviour and indirectly supports it, without it exactly being its intention for doing so. The very detached and faceless nature of the medium allows us to come out and say downright nasty things and walk away without a hair out of place for it! I mean come on, can we really not see how it is completely desensitising, thus dehumanising us! Not to mention how ugly, nasty and hurtful on multitude of levels this behaviour is. I would really really hope that at least a descent portion of society can still see this, otherwise really it would have been the end of the world.
 
SO back to me (the very self-obsessed creature that I am). Like I was saying the very essence and being of social media never really sat well with me. Firstly for the longest time I do not understand (and still don’t!) why anyone thinks that people are interested in reading my random “updates” of I woke up and had a cup of tea etc. really NO ONE CARES! No seriously NO ONE CARES!
 
But as life would have it I ended up subscribing to FB, because I was told: I can be in touch with old class mates etc. and there is one point in life that we sit there and think that would be a good idea, and then of course you do that and then remember oh wait that’s why I hated school to start off with. Well no, I didn’t really hate school, I actually did love it. But yes some of the less nicer memories of school life sometimes do resurface with such interactions. Anywhoo, I pressed on and when things got way outa whack for me on a personal level, I deleted half my FB contacts, most of which were all those supposed school mates that I went on to “connect” with on FB to start off with. (What a waste of energy! she says rolling her eyes)
 
So that was the “start” so to speak of my FB and social media journey, which spanned over a few years. Then I stopped using it almost completely and would go on it only very rarely.
 
Anywhoo, life pressed on and things changed drastically both on FB and the rest of the social media world, as well as my life: not drastically changed, but it started to change. So I found myself making a bit more of an appearance on FB again. And then late one summers day in 2019, I thought I need to set up my own business. So then I thought hmm.. well that means I will have to use social media for advertising,  Uggg I thought!! Just the thought of it was like ekkhhhh! Anyway, so I decided to dive right in, set up insta (ekh), then I set up twitter (hmmm), and started to be more active about what I believed in and stood for on FB (emm).
 
I started having to remember to take pics of food that I would make, which never really happened, so the photos were very drip drap and definitely lacked flare like a lot of the now very versed and established food bloggers’ pics were. Because, well let’s face it, it was never me! I never agreed to it, so it never had my heart in it. Therefore, it could never really take off, common sense really when we are willing to look at it clearly. I was not trying to be someone else so to speak, I was still trying to be myself; however, using advertising through social media for my “food stuff” was never really me. I was forcing it on to myself, like forcing on a coat made for someone else just because I am cold. I use to think that if I wanted to “get anywhere” with my business then I have to, “I have no choice”; but of course, we always have a choice!
 
So fast forward to watching “The social dilemma” movie Sept 2020; all of my feelings were confirmed and reaffirmed. I knew all of the stuff that was being brought to light in the movie already, I knew it, I fully believed it, but that movie really made me think that, if I already know this stuff and I am so anti it all then, what am I doing here?? What type of example am I setting for me children?
 
[There was a time when I used to think that in order for us to protect our children from it, we also need to be aware of it and all its “happenings” ( I have written about this in an older post “a  little bit of techyness”). Now however, I think no! We can make a life without social media and that is what we need to show our children that life can be easily and very happily lived without social media. Just like there is no negotiation for "Tik Tok" in my mind, then why can’t there also be no negotiation for FB, Insta etc. ]
 
So coming back to the social dilemma movie point in time. That is when things started ticking for me, clogs started turning and I started working on my “exit plan”.
 
I started slowing saving all of my intellectual property on my machine, so I do not lose all my posts. I started exploring other avenues etc. Then of course the whole censorship heavy, long hand of Mr Money came out in its full ugly force; and I though: Right! Things are just getting from bad to worse! Not only are there the general inherent issues of the social media world, but now taking away our freedom of speech on this mass level! That is just not on. SO operation exit was kicked up a notch.
 
I started looking at other spaces where I could have my voice outside of my website. In the midst of it all, there was also the big who ha over WhatsApp’s new T’s n C’s beginning of 2021. This led me to start using Telegram and Signal as a back up. So now fast forward to late 2021, as I sat there thinking about using other mediums, I decided to give Telegram a better look and set up my telegram channel. At the moment it doesn’t seem too bad, but I’m not planning on getting too comfortable. I’ll be ready to leave if things start looking not right here as well!
 
In the meantime I also stumbled across MeWe, which again does appear not too bad at the moment, but I don’t trust any of these companies if I am honest! So let’s see. For the time being I have a tiny presence on Telegram and even smaller on MeWe; but that is the direction life has taking me upon at the moment.
 
And I have to stop here for a mo and say: I am not saying all of these things because I am self-obsessed, or that I think you all are super interested in my life. NO! I am not that delusional! Lol! No, my purpose of sharing my journey is so that if anyone else is struggling with similar things and needs another perspective, or needs to hear a similar perspective to their’s to help them out with whatever steps they need to take, then maybe reading the notes on my journey might help them in someway.
 
In terms of Twitter, well, it’s not that they have not been heavy on the censoring I am aware that they have, but for some current indescribable reason I feel I still have a bit of a soft corner for twitter. Maybe, because I enjoy writing little inspirations on it, or maybe something else who knows. But for the time being, for better or for worse, I have decided to stick it through with twitter for a little longer; but let’s see. Again, this little corner can also very easily be overridden if push comes to shove, but for the moment its seems to have survived my detoxing surge of 2021. How long it will survive, only time will tell.
 
In the meantime I also moved away from Linked in, which I do not think I even knew how to use, TBH. I am sure there were lots of issues there too, but I hardly knew anything much about it. However, the mere fact it belonged to the company it did, was enough for me to decide to move away.
 
Am I a hypocrite to still use some mainstream SM products and not others; am I a hypocrite to be so anti some Meta products and not others like WhatsApp... Maybe. In fact, most probably, if I am honest...
 
Well, the way I look at it is: firstly it’s the company that owns it and their whole demeanour. Then, it is the product and what and how it is being used in general and lastly how am I using it and how am I encouraging its usage as well.
 
Based on all three I made my decisions, so yes some people might label me as a hypocrite and so be it, can’t please everyone. But the way I see it, I have a system in my mind which I used to determine my actions and make my decisions at the current time. At the end of the day that is all that matters! Are you able to answer honestly to yourself, are you being truthful to your true self?

Authenticity! Learn it!

If you can be true and authentic to yourself; you can answer to that little voice inside your head with truthful integrity for your actions and decisions and BE OK with them, THEN nothing else matters!

I will always be wrong in a way with something in someone’s book, that is the nature of the beast; but if I can at least be at peace with my own decisions and understand and differentiate why I made the decisions and took the actions that I did (any decisions and actions in life), then that is all that matters. Your actions need to live well with YOU, within the heart of your soul; because if there is dis-ease there, then there will be disease here later to follow...
 
The debts we take on in life today, take over the scales and distort the balance of life for tomorrow...


MAE OUT.
​
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My Britain

6/1/2022

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AUTHOR:
MAE

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​My love of "Britishness" extends far before my arrival in this country.

I have been forever in love with the flavour that the British bring to the world.

My romance with the days long ago, when men dressed as proper gentlemen and women in their fancy gowns with hats gloves and fans. 

An era that though is from long ago still lives and thrives deep within the British soul.

Our "properness", in any ceremonies, our fuss and pomp with all the uniforms and parades; the spectacular display of the red arrows on special occasions; all the history and heritage that is preserved, lived and relived and cherished in our modern lives.

This is what I love most about the British Culture: we keep the past alive!
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My Bihar

6/1/2022

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Author:
Mae

 
O My beloved Bihari family, help me bring Bihar back to me… 

It's been lost along our journeys it's been hidden away behind the glossed over Englishes… 

But deny it all one wants, it lives and breathes within our soul...

It shines through our every dish

It laughs with our every story…

Please help me preserve it for our future generations… our ancestral stories are getting lost with every passing of our elders.. 

Our oh so proudly flashed around eclectic taste buds are losing out on culinary treats once our grandmas used to slave away in kitchens to make…

Our lifestyle maybe different now, our fancy gadgetry may save us from the painstaking ways of our ancestral cuisine, but if we don't save it now, dishes which we have once tasted in our childhood or sadly have now only heard names of, will be lost forever….

For our future gens, let's come together and document our heritage together...

Any stories any recipes please help me preserve them and make them accessible for all our children to read, enjoy, use and be proud of…. 

I wish to take no credit for anyone else's work I will accredit each piece with its rightful authors… my dream is to only preserve and spread…

I thank you all in advance, even if you have nothing to share on the site itself, please share and enjoy this space with all your families, this legacy belongs to us all it yearns to be shared!

It's time we brought Bihar into the limelight it deserves….
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Lost in time...

5/1/2022

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Author:
MAE
ORiginal post of 20/5/18

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JEDDAH, KSA
No matter where I may roam there is only one place that my heart calls home… Jeddah


Jeddah is dil ki jaan tu hi hai,
Jeddah you are the soul of my heart!
​

It's not perfect but no place ever is or will be, I grew up in this city it's my “hometown”! 

There are so many memories people who grew up here can relate to, only they can understand. I can't even begin to pen down my memoirs without getting all choked up with nostalgia. 
Where do I start with, do I start with my most awesome school experience I had, or do I start with all my amazing like minded family friend's circle, or maybe the food. 
Maybe I should start with the one thing that is lost. The one thing I use to enjoy and boast about… the one thing I miss most from my childhood when I think about Jeddah when I visit it now, something that would identify it. That one thing was it's array of roundabouts. At every cross roads there would be roundabouts, now someone living in the UK would think "and your point is, London is the city of roundabouts you shouldn't miss it", but these weren't just painted on the ground like UK. There was a unique feature on each and every one. Something that was so Jeddah something that we would identify as us and us as it. You knew where you were exactly looking at the roundabout in front of you. Directions would be given with the reference of these monuments on these roundabouts. All that is now lost. I can no longer say I live near “taiyaara chowk”. Newcomers to the city would look at me thinking I'm coo coo, they just don't know. Bar “cycle chowk” and a few others dotted near the coast, all the rest have been slowly but surely gone. How I miss driving by them!  Or rather being driven by them, because yes soon the next generation will never know days of male only drivers. A New era is at its dawn, the dawn of the female drivers in Saudi. A thought which once was the joke of the town, people in the west would say “when pigs will fly… “ people in Saudi would say “when women will drive…”  it was considered that impossible an ask, but here we stand at the doorway to the world of impossible. A new age for women in Saudi. ​
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STORY TRAIN'S MOST LOVEABLE CHARACTER

4/1/2022

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AUTHOR:
MAE
Original post of 2/2/21

Hey everyone, as you know Story Train series are a collection of bedtime stories that I am sharing on my Youtube channel for children (and parents) of all ages to enjoy. 

This one is the first story of a very beloved character that you will see makes an appearance time and time again. 

Hope you enjoy it!

Do let me know how you are finding them with feedbacks on either youtube, my blog or FB

Much Love
​
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LEt's live a little

4/1/2022

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AUTHOR:
MAE
ORIGINAL POST of 28/12/20

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Health and fitness is not something to achieve, it’s a side effect of great living.


I do not advocate for exercise! I Don’t, I know some healthy living advocate I am right! How can I not stand for exercise??


I’ll tell you why not, it achieves nothing! (Did she just say that! Like seriously!!) oh yes I seriously did!


Ok let me flip the question what do you think exercise achieves?


Think about it, I mean really truly deeply think about it. What are you getting out of it? You put in time and energy, you burn fuel, but what is the outcome? Nothing, nada, zip, zero!



Ever see a farmer exercise? Ever see sailor exercise? Are they fit? Are they healthy? Are they active? (And yes I am just generalising at the moment, I am sure there are some who do, but just hear me out for a moment on this one.)


I advocate for being active!


There is a big difference in being active and exercising.

Exercise is like a roundabout: you can drive around it for hours, burn all your fuel, but get no where. Being active is the winding country road that not only burns fuel, but takes you to a destination whilst also giving you a great view until you get there too.



We need to start rethinking what it is to be healthy, truly healthy.


I’ll tell you why I don’t think people who exercise are not necessarily truly healthy. They work all day look after all their domestic affairs and then have to make time to burn calories all the while not achieving anything with those burnt calories.

What do you have to show for them, some abs maybe, but someone who does back breaking work can also show you abs too; all the while also show you the fruits of his labour too. He achieves something when he burns calories, he creates, makes, grows, does something with those calories. He isn’t just burning calories for the sake of burning calories.

Let’s take a step back in time shall we, say a century or two ago, did gyms exist? Did we need gyms? No people were naturally fit. (I know not everyone, I am not referring to everyone, neither back then nor now for that matter, there are always exceptions to the rules). Men, women children, everyone did work that was labour intensive, this meant that people were naturally “getting a work out” while just getting on with their daily life chores. No one had to make time on top of their work and chores to burn calories. You ate to get energy to work and you worked to get food on the table it was a natural cycle.


Now I am not saying that we all need to go back in time and live how people did back then, no (even though that would be ultra cool). What I am suggesting is instead of making time for the gym, we need to make time for things that we enjoy, that we can create, make and do, that will get us naturally active due of the nature of the activity.


Now I know you can say well why does it matter, why do I have to do an “active activity” when I am happy burning calories in the gym? That is my “active activity” I enjoy it. Yes no doubt there are people who do enjoy going to the gym, it makes them “feel better” and they get a satisfaction out of it. In which case fair enough carry on, I am not suggesting you stop. If you truly enjoy it, then it is beneficial and health giving to you. I am not anti exercise! I am just not pro drilling it into people as a must.

I am here to talk to all those people who feel they have to go to the gym, to keep fit and healthy. People who really struggle to fit it into their schedule, people who really don’t fit into the whole gym culture.

I am here to tell you that you do not have to!


Do not force something upon yourself that does not come naturally to you, otherwise you loose any benefit that you can gain from it. After all health is more than waist size! True health only comes to be-ing when you are truly happy in your being, in your skin, in your life. This pressure that is felt of having to “keep fit” and “active” of having to work out everyday or week, it is not natural, it is not healthy. It is much more health giving for you to indulge into a new hobby that keeps you active naturally. All this step counting and calorie watching, that is not health giving, on the contrary it is health robbing! Why, because you are living in stress! One already has enough stress in the modern world, lets not add to it shall we!


Let's live a little shall we and do things for the sheer joy of doing.
Create things!
Creativity is relaxing, healing and health restoring!


Spend time out doors, go exploring new parks, go walking with your family, play games, sports with them in parks, or sports centre, build things, restore things, grow things, but do it for the joy of doing it and not because you feel you have to!

Now more than ever people are waking up to “being active” for their health sake, to avoid catching the next bug or virus that comes along. Yet again though, the importance of it is emphasised in a way where it feels yet again a chore, “a must”; a sort of stress and anxiety takes over one if they did not go out for their “daily walk”.

Again this is not health giving, its robbing!

Yes of course you should go out for walks, nothing wrong with it, just like there is nothing wrong with going to the gym, but what is wrong is how the whole things plays out within us, within our minds.


Is it really putting us in the rest and relax state, or is it still keeping us in the fight and flight state I wonder…




…. and so should you!
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The story train series

4/1/2022

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AUTHOR:
MAE
Original post of 11/11/20

Fiza Club's very own Youtube Channel is now up and running! Catch the Story train series now available on Youtube!

These are a collection of bed time stories made up by me on the spur of the moment with characters that my children concoct moments before. 

They are not pre- written "well edited" literature pieces, they are very "raw" and "organic" story telling with hidden messages of good and kindness.

The videos are created with bedtime in mind so no animation, only imagination!


I have been telling these little stories for some time now, but only recently started recording them so they can be shared and treasured for years to come! Insha Allah!

As always they are not "perfect", but like I keep saying we need to stop striving for perfection and focus on memory making!

These are magical memories from my home, maybe they will inspire magical memories for your home!

Much love!

​MAE
​
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Becoming

4/1/2022

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AUThor:
MAE
ORiginal post of 21/8/20

Picture
Your life's works, ​takes a lifetime of work.


Although some can say my "this chapter" is yet to begin, or that I am currently in the "introduction chapter" of this book, but learning and developing does not start from any one singular moment, it is a result of many little seemingly unconnected moments combined which lead you to a place, to a space, to a doing, to a becoming, to a Be-ing.


When you stand back from life and think when did I start "this" journey, or "that" journey, you realise you were ALWAYS on this journey. Everything you were, or are, or have been, or have done, has led you to this point of being. It is not isolated landmarks that have brought you here, but rather each and every big and small road, every twist and turn, bump and ditch, every encounter with every person has all been essential for shaping and allowing your presence in this space; which you have always meant to have been in.


Going forward, as well, it is not milestones that will allow you to be, but your entire existence and journey will be what enables you to become. You are not separate from your journey, your journey is there to unfold your self-discovery.


Every moment
Every place,

defines, refines & shapes....

​​
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