We cannot control learning. One cannot control or predict what another learns.  A teacher can bring a lesson to the class, but she cannot upload her thoughts into the student’s brains. What each individual student will take away from the same lesson will be as different and unique as they themselves are. How one processes the information presenting before us, even we ourselves cannot know.
 
I can go into a class thinking today I will learn how correctly to do a body curl, but what I will actually learn in that class I do not actually know, and sometimes do not even come to the realization of said learning perhaps until many years later, if that.
 
Not only does everyone’s brain work differently, but how we relate to something is not dependent on the content or how our brain works, but on our history, our experiences, our own insights.
 
This is why 1000 people can read the same book yet take something very different away from it and what that will be is a mystery to all, Except Allah. He alone knows why He brings the experiences that He does to us. He alone knows why we need those experiences, and He alone knows exactly what we will gain from each and every experience and also when we will gain it. Sometimes it is not till years later that an article finally makes sense to us or becomes “relevant” for us.
 
So not only do we have to trust in every experience brought to us, that there is a reason for it and also trust in the timing of each thing to be necessary and precise; but also, we have to not assume that everyone learnt the same thing from the same lecture, or book or experience. Thus it is a good practice also to hear out what another has to say about a book that you may have already read for yourself.
 
In the same way, every homeopath you will go to, every doctor you will go to, every herbalist you will go to, will all hear and understand different things of and about your health.
 
You can tell the exact same story, in exactly the same words with exactly the same expressions undertones etc to 50 homeopaths and they will all take way something different from your story; like in a student clinic setting for example. Each will pick up on different things based on their understanding, their experiences and their insights, (and mind you, not their understanding of the art of homeopathy, rather their understanding of you and your story! Their understanding, thus use of homeopathy is an entirely different aspect).
 
That said, not only what someone picks up on is different, but actually, with each individual homeopath you may go to, you will express your story in a slightly different way. Why, because of our gut connection. Our gut is a fascinating thing, it eludes us of things that we are not aware of, it conveys things that words cannot, it inspires in us ideas that we did not know existed.
 
When we sometimes meet someone, without quite knowing how, we know that this person will understand me when I say this. We may barely know this person, like a homeopath we have not visited before, or an acquaintance at work whom we have a polite relationship with, not a deep connection with; but we somehow unknowingly why, just know that this person will understand me when I say this. This is our gut connection, our aura’s connecting, our energies exchanging. Sometimes a client may be trying to explain to me their timeline or their feelings, and without them knowing my timeline/experiences they strike a chord with mine. They say something which I know exactly, because I too have experienced it. Even more interestingly, they then don’t even go into it too much, as somehow, they too know that I have just understood it, that it is been heard – not their words, but their story has been heard.
 
As a homeopath, we go beyond the words that come out of our client’s mouth. We listen to the story that they are trying to convey to us. It’s important to note here, that the story that one tells through their words, is not always necessarily the story that those actual words are narrating. For example, “I got bit by a dog” is not saying, “I got bit by a dog”, its saying so much more than that. There is fear, there is anger, there is worry, there is pain. Sometimes, not all those feelings can be expressed into words, but each sits in our eyes, in our fidgeting, in our expressions, in our body language; but most importantly it is felt through the invisible connection that our energies make.
 
When we sit with our crying child in our arms, we try to sooth them, but we also try to “listen in” to what she is quietly conveying to us: the loud bang was painful to my ears, the loud bang caused a disturbance in my soul, the loud bang left me shaking and unsettled, I feel scared, I feel unsure, I feel worried, I feel too much that I do not know how to cope with... And we, the mother, in turn in our cuddles and warm embrace, in our soft soothing humming, addresses to all those silent cries, not just the vocal one.
 
When someone says “I never cry”, they are not saying that they have never experienced sadness, or grief or they have nothing to cry for or about in their life. No, it is actually the very opposite. There is grief, its silent grief. They are “salted over” in grief, they cannot release those “salty thoughts” through salty tears…
 
These examples above though, are still not based on personal insight, rather just from the general homeopathic perspective. Personal connection goes even a step further than this. When a person tells one a story, and they have lived a similar experience then the listener knows not just of the obvious emotions said, or disclosed but even the very subtle and deep ones that only one who has lived said experience can know.
 
If for example a person feels betrayed by a close loved one, they may feel like they have been “stabbed in the back” or “stabbed straight up right in the heart” by that person, there may be shock and horror, anger and hatred, sorrow and grief, emotions which can be picked up quite strongly, but there are some other ones deep hidden under the layers of these stronger ones, a longing to undo the betrayal, a sympathy to forgive the betrayal, a hatred of oneself, a pain that pangs through your heart which simultaneously wants to forgive and forget but also cannot forgive and forget, a battle of feelings which do not really have words; all you know is that there is pain, a lot of it. Feelings which muddy with each other and overflow and overwhelm your whole existence. You feel let down by that person, by yourself, for allowing this to happen, for putting so much trust and hope and expectations on the other person, on your relationship, and you end up with a broken heart that bleeds pure agonising pain. Now no matter what may happen, no matter how much apology, no matter how much regret and remorse may come to mend it, that heart can never go back to being the same again. Even if its “brokenness” were to mend, the scar can never go away, it will always remain as a reminder to never trust and open your heart in that way to anyone ever again…
 
Some people might react by putting up a wall around their heart, others may react by reclusing into oneself, another by hating their ownself and blaming themselves, feeling that they are the wrong doer that they deserved to be treated in this way because they are not good enough causing them to be remorseful of themselves. And sometimes they can go through all of these actions and end up in a dark space of depression where life no longer feels worth living and suicide and/or self-harm the only road visible in this dark never-ending night. Only one who has slummed so low themselves can understand the true torture and torment of the soul from the moment of betrayal through to the steps proceeding suicide. The dark thoughts that haunt these broken souls can remain unsaid in a company who has experienced the same and yet still be heard.
 
The inexperienced often think that you can spot a depressed soul a mile out, but actually, to the surprise of most, most that bite that bullet shock the world as to their state. Many suicide deaths could not have been seen coming, why, because with most you cannot tell that they are depressed and in such a dark space. Smiles beam from their brave faces, kindness drips from there essences and colour encompasses and cloaks their minds darkness. They may even eat “normally”.
 
You see we have some stereotypical images of depression, and where those impressions may also hold true, they are not the only image of depression. Because why one gets dragged into depression makes a big difference. Our actions, our body’s “breakdown” all disclose our story. Most of us have a very Allopathic view of illnesses. You see, Allopathy, busies itself with just the illness, but homeopathy wants to listen into why and it does so by understand each person’s individual symptoms.


Everyone experience “high blood pressure” say, in a slightly different way, or “diabetes” or in the above case, depression. What has led one on to that road, determines how that “illness” plays out within us; for it is not the “illness” that ails us, but the happening in our timeline that led us to it that actually ails us. It is not the gallstones that we need to be “cured” from, but that in our life that made us so “bitter”.
 
When I hear “gallstones” I immediately think “bitterness” then I start thinking about all the emotions and events related to their timeline that could have led them down the path to bitterness; it is these emotions and these events that need addressing to “address” the gallstones.
 
How we think, what we experience, how we feel, how we interpret, process, understand and deal with life all mould our being and make us who we are. We are all unique and individual, no two people are the same, no two person’s stories are the same, no two people will live and come out of life in the same way.
 
Why we experience things, why we get connected with the individuals we do, how we know what we know, how we learn what we learn, how we communicate and how we know how and what we communicate and more, are all part of the hidden knowledge that Allah SWT, alone only has. What our life and our journey through life is meant to bring to us, to others and this world we will never fully know; we can try all we want to capture and understand and explain, but all we will end up with is mere snippets of this puzzle. Allah Alone is The All Knowing, All Planning, All Seeing, All Controlling, All Creating, The EverLiving and Eternal, Rabbil Aalameen. HE Alone Knows what and who we are, what when and who we need and how we need it.
Subhan Allah! Alhumdulillah! Allah-o-Akber!
Allah-o-Akber! Allah-o-Akber! Allah-o-Akber
Oh Allah, I submit.
I submit to you Allah and all your plans for me, indeed you are The All Knowing and The Best and Only True Planner; please guide me in the best way that only You know how.

Like everything in life, in nature, is a slow transformation, so too is the case with your “health”. We do not suddenly become ill. Even when we catch a cold suddenly, even when we have an accident unexpectedly, nothing happens actually instantaneously; as much as an accident may occur over a split second, what actually led one to that accident transpired over a period of time that was longer and from well before that split second. Things don’t just go wrong. Like I have said before in my Lightning Bolt Phenomenon post, lightning does not just fall randomly anywhere, we send out the signals first, we attract and the response comes from the “universe”.
 
Thus just like, several things lead us to a situation, develop and unfold, or reveal an “illness”, there too must be several steps taken to then address said “illness”. Change “positive” or “negative” happens over a period of time, how long each period is or will be, no one can really know. Sometimes, things add up one at a time in the background and then bang a small thing triggers an event which causes the outward change, but in truth, the last addition was not what was the sole cause of the event, no matter how much it may seem so, it was just the straw that finally broke the camel’s back, but it is not the straw that is actually the reason, it is all of everything else that lead up to and transpired before the straw came into play that caused the straw to be able to have the impact that it did. In the same way, with “healing”, sometimes, one remedy can start the chain reaction needed to unravel the energy trapped with us, and it is enough, no other thing is necessary to instigate change, however, many times, because our lives are so complex, we need several remedies given strategically to instigate any change. Sometimes clients say, oh you gave me this and this and this, but it didn’t do anything at all, and then when you gave me this, this is the one which only helped a little, all the rest were “rubbish” just give me more of that again don’t give me anything else.
 
Well, firstly all I can say to that is, I’m glad the last one helped, but how can we really be sure that the other’s didn’t do anything? The straw and the camel also apply here too. Sometimes, we need to prime the situation before so that the straw can then come into play, if we only relied on the straw on its own, it likely may not have much impact, or at least have much less impact than it does when given after the other apparent “inert” ones.
 
The issue is, we are always in a rush, always looking for quick fixes, too quick to judge and move on. We need to slow down and give things their due time and respect. Just because we are hungry and have a full plate of food in front of us does not mean we open our mouths and pour it all in at once down our throats! That would not “fix” our hunger now would it! No, the food needs to be eaten in small bites and each bite chewed and swallowed properly before the next bite can be taken; and even with that there is an etiquette, we start from the part of food closest to us and work our way around the plate systematically not just eat through the meal haphazardly like we do not know what we are doing.
 
A homeopath is trying to create a dialogue with your being, with your vital force. When you visit the first time, they hear what you are telling them, they respond, then you have to come back and “talk” some more and then they “respond” again accordingly. That is the only way a "dialogue" can be formed, otherwise you are not having a conversation with them, rather only just said “hi” and moved on.

A morning hello to a stranger on the street is not going to “heal you”, deep meaningful conversations build on trust will; whether the conversation is a real conversation or the above metaphoric, either way, it is all dependant on our connections. The deeper, stronger and bigger our connection is to something, anything, the more impact it has on our lives, its simple common sense really if you think about it, nothing mystical and elusive about it.
 
I reach out and make the connections with the people who are important to me, with the people whom I want to have impacts upon and from in my life; it’s up to you to reach out and form connections with the people you want to have connections, thus impacts with and from.
 
As a homeopath however, I don’t check in after my clients, reminding them of follow ups; they know where I am, they know how to reach me. And that is not because I do not care about them or value them and all that they bring, rather because it is up to them if they want to have a connection with me, it is up to them to want to heal, and up to them if they choose to include me in their healing journeys.

“Healing” is not only a journey, but also a choice! No one can "heal" you, except you, because "healing" is something that happens on the inside, on a subconscious soul level; you have got to actually want to "heal" yourself for "healing" to ever take place.

Some of us, become too attached to our illnesses, we start identifying with them; we actually, despite our complaints of our ailments, do not want to part from them as strange as it may sound. Because believe it or not, illnesses are not actually our enemy, they are a part of us, they are us communicating with ourselves, subconscious to conscious; and deep down somewhere we know this. We know that our illnesses are telling our story, and we at some deep level, do not want to let go of them because we have become too "attached" to them and our story.
 
What we need to understand is that “healing” will not change our story, it will not dampen it, or take anything away from it. It will not “change” us. Healing is a journey of recognising our story, learning from it and growing from it and allowing our next chapters not to be cocooned by our previous. By “healing” from our experiences, we cannot change those experiences nor the impact that they had upon us when they happened; by “healing” from them what we are allowing to do is, show that we are much more than those experiences, that those experiences cannot define us nor restrain us, we are choosing to live on despite them and not be imprisoned by them.

It’s like a scar, when we fall over and cut ourselves on the knee and begin to bleed, we do not sit there by the road side being engulfed and paralysed by the bleeding; no we wipe off the blood and pick ourselves up and carry on, allowing the cut to seal itself and scar over. Over time we may even forget that that happened and that we have a scar; we do not let our life be revolved around the scar, or incident. Sometime later we may even catch sight of the scar again and perhaps recall what happened but again we will remember it fleetingly and then move on.
 
We have to look at our “bigger” “illnesses/ailments” in the same way.

They are not there to be dwelled on, and neither for that matter is our life or our “story”. We need to learn to treat life like the road side trip-up, address it, treat it and them move on. The more we hold on to things the longer they stick around, going stale and mouldy, giving off a foul stench and making us “ill” from it.
 
Life brings you lessons to learn and grow from, not “destroy” you with. If a human being can fully recover from a near fatal accident, where not only every major bone in their body was broken, but it was also advised for by the doctors to have the machines switched off as they are looking like to be most likely "brain dead" - then are we not underestimating our ability to heal??
 
If you are standing here today, then is that not proof in itself that whatever you have faced in your life you have overcome it! As the old saying goes: whatever does not kill you, only makes you stronger! So whatever it is that you may have faced in your life, you got through it!! You got over it, you defeated it. It is time to brush yourself off and pick yourself up and walk away from it. You are not the conquered, but the conqueror!

And if you are standing here today in the middle of sh*t, feeling like you are drowning in it, then work through it one piece at a time; with each piece you address, with each puzzle you solve, you release the pressure it may have been mounting on you today.

Remember: with each unravelling strain, you reduce the impact of the straw; and hunger is not “fixed” with a landslide of food going down your throat, it is addressed one bite at a time…
 


And don’t forget to chew on it ;)

Back home there is this unsaid rule, this expected norm, that the daughter-in-law that has wed into the family has to mould herself to the family; so much so that she is expected to forego herself completely and become “one” with the fabric of the “susral” – the new wedded home of the girl.
 
Now as much as one can think, “and?”, as in, what is wrong with that; especially someone who has been brought up in an environment where this is the expected norm, there is some very wrong things with this practice.
 
For starters she is an individual human being, with individual: needs, desires, dreams, visions, strengths, methods – everything. Remember no two people are alike. Not even two twins, they both have their own unique personalities. Secondly, asking someone to become something or someone else not only goes against every cell of their being, it also goes against the necessity of life. Life does not need 50 of one identical person, it needs each and every one of those 50 people to be their own unique and individual selves. No one can or should become a carbon copy of someone else. Otherwise Allah SWT would have created one “perfect” specimen of the human race and had us all “cloned”. But that is not the case. Just like each plant, each flower is unique and provides different things, each and every human being is INTENTIONALLY made to be different and unique BY DESIGN! It is necessary! Allah wants us to be exactly who he has made us to be and not forego our unique identity, (and what it is meant to bring) as a result of becoming like someone else. By doing so not only are we not being fair upon ourselves, but we are neglecting to see what gifts Allah Subhan-o-Tala has given us; thus robbing the world of our unique offerings for the would that we are meant to bring.
 
No two people, no matter how similar in personality; no two people, no matter how similar in background; no two people, no matter how similar their life history may have been, are ever actually ever living identical lives. NEVER!
 
So why am I bring this up today? Well, there are two main reasons, firstly as mentioned above the health of the individual person, the “daughter-in-law” that has wedded into a family needs to know and understand this for her own health and sanity; and secondly for the health and wellbeing of the family that she weds into. BOTH are very important; as the age old saying goes: it takes two to tango, or you need two hands to clap.
 
The would-be effects on the health of the daughter-in-law is somewhat easy to understand, how this having to forego oneself and become someone/something else can be detrimental for one’s health – mentally, emotionally and physically, (explained further in lots of my other posts); but the health and wellbeing of the others in the family I think needs some light shined upon as well.
 
We, as the receiving family of a new person into our family, need to understand the importance of allowing the new person coming in, to be themselves; both for their health and for our own. You see, often it is these misguided expectations, when failed to have been met, that cause dis-eases in both our beings and in the fabric of the household. This I’m sure is plain to see, as therefore not being a good thing. Any dis-ease leads to disease; whether of the body of an individual human being, or the “body” of the household – dis-eases in the fabric of the household can lead to diseased relationships! Yes diseases are not confined to just “physical matter”, it can find its way into “invisible” threads, the threads that bind together and create the fabric that holds a “family” together. Without this fabric holding us, we are but individuals living under one roof.
 
Coming back to the point at hand. When a mother-in-law brings in a daughter-in-law and expects her to live her life by the mother-in-law’s rules and ways, then she is setting up the relationship to fail! That is it! Plain and simple, the hard truth! It is a trap laid out by cultural dictates from which there is no escape!
 
Why, why do we expect this? Why do we want this? Why do we think we need this, and that it is the “right” thing that needs to happen?
 
My son already has me. I am his mother. I bring to him, to this family to this world everything that I need to. So why do I think that my son, my family, this world needs someone else to be me? I am not looking for my replacement when I seek a daughter-in-law! It’s not like my secretary who answers my calls is gone so I need a new one to do so. No. I am not looking for, nor do I or my son need a replacement for me. The reason why we try to make someone else live life like we are, or we think it should be lived, or we think our son needs it to be so, is ARROGANCE! We think we are right, we think we are great, we think we have it all figured out, we got it all down. But that is the biggest and most ridiculous lie we are subconsciously telling ourselves and subsequently also believing! We are not the greatest to have ever walked this earth, we have not got ANYTHING figured out, we cannot even open our eyes and see the world without Allah SWT permission!
 
Allah has entrusted us with our children, for us to be there guardian, to be their guide to take care of them because we were the people that they needed AS PARENTS. No one else can be a better mother to my son than me. But equally no one else can be a better son to me than my own son (or daughter of course, it’s not about sons or daughters so let’s not side track).
 
But my daughter-in-law has not been sent to my son to be his mother! Either in kind or in personality. He already has me, dead or alive. I am me for him. Neither does he need more of me, wants more of me, or should have more of me.
 
No. His wife has to be her, herself. She was brought to us because she was the person who was the perfect life partner for my son. She is meant to share and live life with him in only the way that she can. And that includes all: the way that she is, to the way that she wants to live her life, run her home, raise their children etc etc etc.
 
Just like my children are not carbon copies of me, and I never wish for them to be; how can I expect, think, want that my daughter-in-law should be anything like me, do anything like me, agree to anything in life with me. We can be standing either side of the number 6 or 9 and seeing a very different reality. No one’s reality is "better" or "more correct" than anyone else’s! They are just different, but equally true and valid. That is not to say that if she wishes to learn something from me then there is anything wrong with that. But equally I should not be arrogant and think that I cannot learn how to do things her way and see life from her perspective. We are always, and need to always be open to, learning and growing; that is the only way that we can evolve otherwise we stagnate. A desire to learn should always be present in everyone, but remember no true learning can synthesis if it is externally forced. So yes, offering suggestions, recommendations, giving advice is not wrong; what is not appropriate is us expecting that those need to be followed through. Don’t imprison one in to your reality. Allow your realities to be free to sit as close to, or as far apart as they need to, in a healthy honouring way.
 
This all is not just something that I, “the mother-in-law” needs to understand, but my son, “the husband”; my daughter, the “sister-in-law”; my other son, the “brother-in-law”; my husband, “ the father-in-law”; all need to understand! We all create the fabric of family together, so together we all must understand and embrace for the betterment of the overall wellbeing and health of the family. We together make the fabric and together we must open our arms to embrace new threads as they are. They may be of a different raw material, they maybe of a different colour, they maybe of a different weight or thickness, they may induce a change in the tension of the fabric; and to accommodate it all, we all must have a level of “give” to prevent any thread from breaking!
 
I hope it goes without saying that all the above mentioned “people” are fictional and just stepping into these shoes for role play to better understand the matter at hand.
 
All these of course equally apply the other way as well, where the family accepts in a son-in-law into their household. Equally a son-in-law can be made to feel “not good enough”; but not good enough to what??!! Perhaps what you envisioned for your daughter? But we are limited to seeing life only through our own eyes, we cannot see through anyone else’s eyes, (don’t even think about bringing in organ transplant into the discussion here, JUST DON’T). We may think that our daughter needs to live life in a certain way, and no doubt it is most likely nothing short of life like a princess; however, Allah knows and ALWAYS does best.
 
It is hard to see why someone, anyone would need to live a life in “poverty”, hard to see how that would be “best” for them. But in all honesty, we can’t and never will be able to, because we think and feel from our hearts. But that is where faith comes in. That does not mean one has to reside to living a life of hardship, we have to keep praying and trying our best to better our life, but equally not fret too much over the shortfall between our dreams and realities. Remember, life on earth is not our ultimate goal, always keep the bigger picture in mind. It’s like fretting over the cleanliness and facilities at a service station! Um, it’s a service station. You are here to grab gas, maybe some food and use the loo; you are not here to make it into your permanent residence! Sure try to plan to stop at a service station that has maybe got a better track record for cleanliness, has the types of food that can better cater for your needs; but you are not going to go to a service station that is on the border of Scotland if you are trying to go from London to Plymouth (without detours), just because it is a good service station!
 
Not everything we think we want, is actually something that we need!
 
​
So on that note, I hope you got all that you needed, even if it might not be all that you necessarily wanted! ;)


MAE  OUT!

​What qualifies one to be a friend or a relationship to be "friendship" as oppose to "acquaintanceship"?
 
Is it time period? For example: how long you have known one another; or how long you spend with each other; or how often you meet each other?
 
A lot of the times people we consider as “friends”, we do often meet regularly and for a good length of time; but it's not these things that qualify the relationship to that of the "friendship" status. It's not how long or well you know someone, or how often you meet, but rather the fact that you connect with them that makes them your friend. One can sometimes "click" with someone instantaneously, they just know they are friend material; and on the other hand one can have people in their life they meet very frequently and at lengths, but they do not consider them as a "friend" – why because we do not connect with them and they not with us. So no matter how long one does or doesn't know them they will never become their "friend"; they will always ever be an acquaintance or in some instances a colleague.

Moreover, with colleagues as well, they can be just colleagues or they can be a friend as well as a colleague; depending on how well you connect with them. Sometimes, one does not even want to call a person they work with a colleague either, they feel so unconnected to them that they simply refer to them as a “co-worker”; because even the word “colleague” has a certain level of respect and warmth, and in some cases we feel so removed from the person that even “colleague” feels too endearing a word to acknowledge them with. Its all about how well we do or don’t connect with someone.

And life partners, well they really are just the best and closest of ones’ friends; the one we connect with the most.
 
Life really is about what and who we connect with.
 
Sometimes we have people in our lives that we would rather not have, but we have no choice but to put up with them; and sometimes there are people we feel really close to and want close to us and in our life, but we do not have the luxury of their company as we would desire.

Life has its own course that it takes; who, when and for how long life brings together we have no control over. Instead of fighting life’s wisdom, search for that which life is showing you. No conversation, no meeting, no interaction is “random” or “unnecessary”. Every conversation we have, every interaction we part-take has a purpose. A necessary energy exchange needs to happen with those that are presented; and energy exchanges with those that are not present are not meant to happen, for whatever reason.

Stop fighting life!
Listen to it.

I have had “random”, “fleeting” conversations with practical “strangers” that have been life changing!

No conversation, no interaction, is random or unnecessary!

Everyone has an important role to play in the lives of the people that they interact with.

Nowadays FOMO is a growing problem for people, they constantly feel they are missing out on something important. They need to know what converstaions and meetings are happening between whom and about what. Stop fretting. Just like no one can take what is yours and you cannot take what is not yours. No conversation that you should have been present in, you will ever miss; and no conversation that you were better left out of, you will ever attend.

The problem is our Ego.

We let our Ego get the better of us.

We think that we should be in the know of this or be part of that, but Allah always knows and does best. HE knows better than anything and all; what we need, when we need it and how. Trust in HIS plan, for HE is the best of planners, Subhan Allah!

Like I have said above I have been in literally life changing conversations that I didn’t even know were going to take place. The direction they took me in was not even on my radar, better yet the fact that I needed a change of direction itself was not even on my radar either. So before the “random” stranger spoke to me I didn’t even know I have to make a life changing decision after this conversation that would come from the conversation!

How mind blowing is that?!
 
So now I trust in Allah’s plans! I don’t force things, I don’t avoid things, I just live true to myself in every moment and let life unfold itself for me and take me where I need to go when I need to; because Allah guides our life in the best ways possible, Subhan Allah!
 
So if you are fretting over the people you have in your life today or fretting over the people you want to have in your life. Don’t. Good, bad, desirable undesirable, life partner, friend, acquaintance, colleague, co-worker, employee, employer, neighbour, relative, local shop-keeper, fellow commuter, stranger, etc.; whoever they maybe that are in your life, they are there by design, not coincidence!

​See what energies life is guiding you to exchange with them. Be open to seeing what life is bringing your way as new opportunities for exchanges and growths that were not their before.

And the people that are no longer in your life or have not come in your life, again no need to fret over them either, there is a reason they are not present in your life. We might not always see the wisdom or the reason, but that is where faith comes in; we have to trust in Allah’s wisdom and plan and trust that if they really needed to be with us they would be and as they are not, there is some hidden wisdom there.

Its hard no doubt when you really wish your mother was by your side; or you miss your childhood best friend’s shoulder; or you feel that your crush is the one you are meant to end up with forever, and they are not here. But as hard and harsh and wrong as it may feel, there is wisdom in everything Allah does. Alhumdulillah. If we always got to know the wisdom behind everything then there would be no need for trust and faith.
 
So my message for you is – Connect. Connect with all that life is bringing forth for you today in the best way that you can; for through every connection we make, energy is exchanged and growth enabled.
 
Live, Learn, Grow and Connect otherwise we and life becomes stagnant.
 
Much love to you all.
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​The biggest mystery of life, women.
 
But are they really a mystery? I mean seriously, it's really not that complicated is it? What I think is, is that actually it's so simple that people over look it because they expect it to be more complicated and therefore make matters more complicated and mysterious.
 
Whereas truth be told we are actually really very very simple. All we want is to be noticed and to feel desired. And no, that does not just mean sex. Desired in every way possible. Desired to be with, desired for who we are, what we look like and desired to be loved mentally, emotionally and physically (is that really too much to ask and understand, she laughs).
 
All we want is to know that we are important to the man who is important to us. Though note, that does not mean being told with words “we are important” but feel that we are important in every way. If one can make a woman feel important in their lives then she will look after everything that is important for you, including herself. Yes self-neglect is a sign of the woman feeling like she is not important to her man. If she stops caring about what she wears and looks like then that is because she feels you don't care much either way what she looks like. And that is not to say that one should be superficial and just care about looks, no definitely not. It's about making her feel that she is important to you. That you do notice when she makes an effort. That you do notice the new top or how her dress hugs her curves and that it does make you look again and again at her. Yes she may have dress comfy pj days and that is fine, but if she feels you are not really bothered much about whether she does or doesn't do something then she will stop doing it which will eventually lead down the low self-esteem and self-neglect road. She wants to know that in certain colours/dresses you can't stop staring at her. She wants to know that her smile makes your heart race. She wants to know that she will still make your head turn every time she walks in the room. She wants to know that you notice all the little things about her.
 
And that's not to say that you don't, you probably do, but she needs to know that too! Often men can be too closed with their feelings and this is often their downfall. Tell her how she makes you feel. Tell her you like it when she does her hair in certain ways. Tell her, show her, make her feel it and believe it. It really is that simple.
 
There is no fixed formula, no dos or don'ts. Just tune into your heart and hers and let them be your guide. No need to over complicate matters, no need for expensive displays of affections; be it one rose or a hundred they both still convey the same message and invoke the same feelings. It's not about the quantity but the thought and feeling. Just genuine old fashioned wooing and flirting. People often think flirting is just like "bait" to catch a girls interest in the “early days”, they underestimate the powerful tool it is for all ages and stages of a relationship. Your life partner is not a trophy to be won and placed in a display cabinet; like a plant your relationship needs to be tended to every single day. Nurture and adore your relationship and in return it will nurture and adorn your life.
 
Life is simple and is about the simple things.

There is a lot of talk nowadays about frequency: our frequency, interference with other frequencies (like Wi-Fi and 4G/5G. etc.) light therapy/ effects of different lights upon us etc.. Although this is more commonly talked about in recent times, its actually not a “new” discovery or "new phenomenon" for the human race.
 
Our ancestors understood this a long time ago. They may not have given it these titles, but the concept was the same. Let us look at Feng Shui for example, it too talks about energies, harmonising our energies and that of our environment. Architects who build churches centuries ago understood the importance of the church sound travelling well, not just around the inside of the building, but also how it resonated outside into the town and the positive impacts this has on the town. Churches were designed and placed in a way so that the sounds would resonate out in a certain way. Why? Because Sound, affects us.
 
Sound, light, heat, “energy”, they are all energy. The energies we put out, receive and hold inside of us, impact us and our surrounding. Recently we have come to understand that using artificial materials is not great; neither for putting inside of us, on top of us, or around us. With inside and on top, its fairly easy to understand about how the chemicals may react with us; but when it comes to having the artificial materials around us – not only are the chemicals in it (and it gives off to us) toxic, but also how it bounces energies back can also impact us.
 
This phenomenon can be seen with honey and the other products of the bee hive. We have understood the importance and benefits of honey, bee pollen, bee propolis etc. for sometime. Their chemical make-up is extremely beneficial it us, however, it is a more recent discovery that a big reason for the multiple benefits that can be reaped from bee products is because of the frequency that the bees are buzzing at. The frequency has healing qualities in and of itself! The way then this frequency resonate throughout the hive structure then also adds to the already beneficial bee products. So not just what frequency is being emitted, but how it resonate through a space both have impacts.

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In the art of Feng Shui, they talk about moving things around to help the energy flow through the environment in a different way. Well if you jog your memory back to some of your Physics lessons you may or may not remember doing some experiments with sound and light waves, possibly using ripples in water as a visual simulation of the phenomenon. Well if you can think back to those lessons, you may or may not remember how placing obstacles in certain places changed how the waves behaved. Now imagine that but on a bigger scale, like your room. How energy bounces off and around the room will vary depending on what is there and how it is placed. The Art of Feng Shui was not all that far off from our modern day understanding of physics now was it!?!
 
Now let’s also consider what energies we give off all the time when we are at home. That is the energy then that we and our family are living in constantly and reabsorbing. If you are sitting in worry and fear, guess what energy you and your family are feeding off of?
 
For those of you who are Muslim, you may recall Surah Fathiha, the Surah read in every rikhat of every prayer, is also known as Surah Shiffa (the healing verses)!! So when we read this surah its unique wave pattern (frequency) is emitted in and around us and therefore affects us – so is it any wonder why Allah has made this Surah an essential and so frequent part of our daily lives? Is it any wonder why it is said, there is peace to be found in prayer? Is it any wonder why we are supposed to have the Azaans (call for prayer) resonate out into the town 5 times a day?
 
Frequency.
 
We all have our own frequencies.
 
We all emit our own frequency as well as that of what we are feeling. When are feeling low and allowing lots of things to bring us down, we are vibrating at a lower frequency. When we are feeling light and full of joy, we vibrate at a higher frequency - at our optimum, closer and truer to our pure selves; with our energy flowing more freely within us.
 

We are all affected by frequencies.

 
When we get affected by something, we can allow it to: ‘disturb’ our frequency for a short time and allow it to pass through us; or we can choose to block it out preventing it from entering us; or we can hold on to it once it has entered within us, preventing it from running its due course and leaving us, and in doing so we let it keep affecting us.
 

The truth is, life will always bring things our way, we have to allow them to pass through us. If we choose to block it then we are firstly exerting a lot of energy in putting up a shield, thus not living in and at our optimum; and secondly in doing so resisting what ‘upgrade’ it needed to bring to us, and also preventing other things from entering us too – therefore also preventing them from preforming there ‘upgrades’ within us as well (and I say ‘upgrade’, because like computer software, we too need constant ‘upgrading’ in life; otherwise we are not learning and growing, only staying static). Life is about our own personal growth and self-discovery, thus fulfilment; therefore blocking ‘upgrades’ is defeating our purpose of life. Thus we do need these upgrade in life; whether they come from “good” experiences or “bad” is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things; the experiences are only there for us to learn and grow from, they are not good or bad in and off themselves (see my "Finding Gratitude" post to explore more into this subject).
 
 
When we hold on to things, we hold on to those energies. These clogged up energies then prevent our own energy from flowing freely within us. They then over time become stagnant, this stagnant energy then affects the cells it is housed in and around. Left long enough dis-eases starts to set in. Because these cells are not able to vibrate at their optimum, they stop working at there optimum; eventually it can even lead to pathology and then, pathological changes in the tissues.
 
We have to let go of these energies that we are holding on to. They were brought to us as a life lesson, not a life sentence. Let go of them. They will do you no good to hold on to them; and this applies for both ‘good’ and ‘bad’ ‘energies’. Don’t cling on to the past. The more you hold on to the past, the more you will find you are not here in the present.

Life is not what has happened or what is going to happen. Life only exists in the now. This is where life is happening and unfolding living and breathing; reconnect with your physical in the now.

Again, no surprise why breathing is a big thing these days. A lot of work is being done with breathe work these days, because it brings us back into our bodies - into the now, into the present moment were we are literally living and breathing. Also not something which is new. Our ancestors knew the importance of becoming and staying present. Remember just because they didn’t have “modern” technologies does not mean they too have not “lived”! Like we say to our kids: been there done that, they too can say that they too have been there and done that in all their experiences of life too.

Despite the “modernisation”, and upgrades that have come with it, that we have implemented into daily life, the human being and its ‘human-nus’ has not changed one bit.
 
 
When it comes to letting go of stagnant energies and shields, we can come to it ourselves through insights which allow us to let go of those stagnant energies; or we can come to it through therapeutic tools: the Chinese medicine ways unblock energy; the Ayurvedic ways unblock energies; reading and listening to the Quran unblocks energies; Homeopathy, (the energy waves medicine) also unblocks energies. It does not matter how you go about it, so long as you do go about it.

I want to also just add another thing here. Unclogging the energy is one thing, but to prevent it happening again we have to change our ways; and to do so we need to change our way of looking at and receiving life. 'Old ways don't open new doors'!
 
We need to break the pattern; and this can only come from insights. A raised consciousness to understand that we don't need these crutches or coats. The only one stopping us from becoming us and living our best life is us ourselves.

We don't need daily affirmation and meditations we need a realization. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against meditating or affirmations, what I am trying to elude to is that, that is us trying to convince ourselves again and again. We don't need convincing when we already believe and know it. Implementing better practices can give us a better life, but better understanding gives us better practices as a “side effect”. The difference is for one you have to work hard at changing yourself, it's a slow “forced” change, the other is a side effect that comes from just a different understanding. "Insights", insight change.
 
Being healthy does not need to be and should not be hard work; being healthy comes naturally from better understanding.


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Its all about “energy”; its quality and its flow.


 
Energy


Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only transformed. It’s the law of Physics.

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Transform your energy to a new, better frequency.
 
 
 
 
To receive we must first emit…
 
To connect to higher frequencies, we must first emit them to start off with.
 
Literally: We are with what we connect!
 


 
Much Love to you all.
 
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