Perception of Love

Author:
MAE

We have a fake idealistic perception of the expression of love which we have blindly bound to by the rules of some writer’s fantasy of how one should shower love.
Then we take this writer’s ruler meter of how to’s and harshly judge our partners lowly; when the truth is they do not even know what it is that they are not measuring up to because they read a different writer’s fantasy and are working towards achieve said fantasy and not the one we are measuring them by. So how may I ask is this right, fair or even holding any sense? Why should we live by anyone’s else prescribed fantasy firstly and why should we not be appreciated for any expression of love irrespective of whose fantasy it is!?!
 
Imagination is good, reading is good, watching tv (can also be argued) is good; however, when we start to allow these things to cloud our judgment and not see the forest for the tress this is when its bad!
 
When our partners do something, say something, give something, think of us in regards to something, we need to see it for what it is, their unique way of expressing their unique love for us. We do not all love the same man or women, everyone has a slight different preference for who and how their life partner should be. SO just like our choices are different in choosing our companion, our way of expressing care and love for that individual will also carry its own flavour…
 
Not everyone loves red roses, yes, believe it or not it’s not everyone’s most loved flower, yet we are very quick to measure up someone’s lack of giving it to us as a sign that they don’t “love us”… really?!? In fact some people don’t have any interest in flowers one bit (I mean in receiving flowers) but because society dictates we should give flowers it becomes a customary obligation.
 
Why?
 
Is it so wrong that a girl does not really fancy flowers to be “spoiled” with but rather fancies a quiet walk along the beach or a thrilling sky diving experience, or maybe a camping trip in to the mountains or woods… or a guy does not fancy a new set of cufflinks instead prefers some planters or a new shirt or a romantic night in with candles and bath-bombs?
 
Some men (and women) may still prefer to hold doors open, or pick up the bill, it does not mean they are trying to be offensive.
 
It all comes back down to getting to know and understand the people around us. When we connect with and understand the person then we know if someone is doing something out of their feelings in their heart or if someone is trying to make an “offensive” gesture.
 
Someone may be just giving you some personal space out of respect and care for you, but if you don’t look at the genuinity of the person’s gesture you can mistake it for “ignoring” you. We tend to just take everything in extremes and not give the other the benefit of doubt and actually explore into the other’s reasons for their actions, or lack thereof.
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Start seeing the forest for the trees!