Lifeline

AUTHOR:
MAE

​Lifeline- Adult Mentoring and Emotional support

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Emotional health has always been overlooked. The human being is built up of many dimensions: intellectual, mental, physical, social, spiritual and emotional. Each in it’s own right needs to be in a healthy balance for one to be a healthy human being. Luckily we live in a country that does have an understanding of, the need for avenues for intellectual growth, physical care, mental and social support, spiritual groups and spaces, it is however a bit lacking on the emotional support front. Emotional support that is not associated with depression, emotional support that is a human need for general life happenings. Often a group of good friends may fill in this empty space, but it is not always the case and should not be fobbed of to just social circle to be enough. It is a real requirement, to have an impartial non-judgmental "stranger" to, at times, help us through our very real emotional struggles.

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This is a real side of the human being which also needs "professional" support. There are aspects of our lives that we find a lot easier to “off-load” to a person in a "professional" capacity, than to a personal friend. There is a real need to have a place for emotional support providers- people who are emotionally literate. People who  understand and provide appropriate holding for it. Emotional literacy needs to be recognised and understood, it needs to come from a space that is of great compassion and humanity -sadly I feel something which is dying more and more everyday. The world does not recognise emotional health for its worth, therefore the lack of its literacy and support.


With the ever growing multiculturalism in the world, it means now, more so than ever before, people find they feel really stuck and torn by their life situations; with no one around who can understand them. Their culture may dictate one thing, their heart another, their surrounding society a third. Most are even without a healthy family support network and are really struggling how to cope in this emotional turmoil where they feel: “but no one understands me, my situation, my problems, my dilemma.” It doesn't always have to be as a result of multiculturalism though, it can very easily still be the case with being of the same culture as surroundings, but still feeling emotionally a wreck due to uncountable reasons. Aside from that, with the changing face of the world- the new ultra-connectivity era, comes its own set of issues and challenges; opening yet another doorway for emotional disturbance. All of these growing challenges of the 21st century, mean that it is becoming even more essential to have a place for emotional welfare.


Everyone at some points needs someone to talk to, someone they can just pour out all their heart with, speak to about their problems. Someone they can trust is not going to judge them, lecture them, mock them or belittle them. In short emotionally abuse them. We have all sorts of “help-lines”, but they are not very effective in providing emotional support one needs for the day to day life. Samaritans for example are great, but one could feel “I am not feeling suicidal, I just want someone to hear me!” (although it must be said, contrary to popular belief, they are not just there to talk to people who are suicidal). Alternatively, maybe one may feel, they do not always want to talk to a different random stranger on the other side all the time. One needs to create an emotional rapport with a person, a connection, a relationship over time; for an avenue for on-going support for emotional well being.


Having appropriate context and depth of understanding, with a person, is vital. I say this with experience, when one is in a certain emotional state they can pour out their heart and with it, flush out that particular excess emotional energy. In doing so, we then seal away the memories with an emotional imprint. If then later, another emotional surge comes about and to explain the depth of it, if we have to re-visit that imprint to explain the background needed to understand this new surge; it is extremely painful and challenging- to the point where we would rather not re-visit it. Therefore we prefer not to let out the surge and keep it bottled up.

The whole process feels it has just doubled or trebled in magnitude, overwhelming us to a point where it feels it is no longer beneficial for us to try and tackle it; instead it feels easier to hold in that flame and force it down to simmer inside. But what one does not realise is, the implications of this act. If we keep holding in these emotional flares they will eventually build up to a point where they will suddenly, uncontrollably boil over the pot. Leading to an uglier and nastier mess; with a far bigger aftermath to deal with, than if we just dealt with these little bubbles of emotions as and when they came. This is where having continuity is really crucial. If you have one source to constantly go to for help, to tackle the emotional uproars, as and when they happen, you have a much better chance at tackling them in the most healthiest of ways.


In this roller coster ride where we feel all alone, overwhelmed by emotions and feel we don’t have any escape from our strife. We need to have a safe space where we can let out all our emotional unrest and free ourselves of this emotional prison. This is where a third person, a compassionate listening ear, can help you. An “invisible person” who can hold your hand and help you with coping with life, dealing with your situation, making and bringing peace inside your emotional world. There are no degrees, no courses that can teach one to be a life line- an emotional companion. You become one by listening to people- to hear them, to support them. You learn by thinking out of your compassion, acting out of your humanity. Opening your heart up to engulf in theirs, so to allow your heart to hold theirs and help heal.


This is not a job, its not a career, its a choice. I am here making this choice. My whole life, I have chosen to listen to people, to talk to people, to hear people, to hold people. If you ever feel you need to be held, you need to be heard, you need to be understood, you need to be loved and you have no where to turn to, I am here to be that listening ear, be that invisible hand, be that hug to bring you back to living and being yourself.




Today I am setting up LIFELINE-a network of compassionate people here to be an adult mentor- an emotional companion, providing emotional support for real life day to day happenings on the journey of modern life.
I am a lifeliner.


At the end of a line,
At the end of a messaging App.
At the end of coffee table.


If you need me.


Much love
MAE


NOTES:
1. I never charge for my time, as I do not want to be unreachable for anyone, because those who need it most, often are not at liberty to spend anything on their health. If anyone wishes to show their gratitude via a payment that is entirely at personal choice and will go to help support this mission of emotional healthcare.




2. If you feel you are someone who can be a lifeliner, and be there as a personal mentor/emotional companion for someone to help them through life’s journey, please do get in touch. You do not need a degree in human psychologically or “proof” of a compassionate heart. You need to be a person who is willing to open up their heart and be there for a person. (Please be aware that any information that you will be told will be in confidence and needs to be treated with absolute confidence. Emotional support works on the bases of trust, a person is placing their trust in you; ramifications will happen if this circle of trust is broken).